Focus on Who You are Becoming not What You Deserve

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You vs Your Environment

Friends, family, acquaintances, old schoolmates, and colleagues always have something to say about pertinent life issues. These issues mostly surround our environment.

In the Gospels and Matthew’s book, Jesus Christ admonished his disciples. He told them to first focus on themselves before raising their hand to point a finger at their neighbour’s faults. 

Stephen R. Covey

In his bestseller, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey mentions the circle of influence and the circle of concern.

Many people fall into the second circle. It’s called the circle of concern. The circle of concern is the category of people who focus on concerns beyond their control and what is outside their power of influence.

Complaining about how bad the weather is doesn’t make things get better.

Same way, whining about how corrupt and selfish our political leaders are doesn’t change them but only serves to hurt you more.

And therefore, by focusing on things you cannot control, Covey argues you decrease your circle of influence.

Complaining about how bad the weather is doesn’t make things get better. Same way, whining about how corrupt and selfish our political leaders are doesn’t change them but only serves to hurt you more. And therefore, by focusing on things you cannot control, Covey argues you decrease your circle of influence.

And what about the circle of influence? People in this circle long realized that if things will get better, then it is up to them to change.

Therefore, they centre their focus on what they can control and influence.

If they need to up their game by being proficient in a new skill, that is where they will direct their attention.

They know it is up to them to do what needs to be done to change the status quo.

If it is the financial freedom they are looking for, they will focus their energy on watching their financial habits.

Also, they will use their power to drop negative habits for better and effective financial habits. They will embrace habits such as saving and investing.

Gratitude Score Card

Having said that, it is also important to pinpoint the fact that some people have replaced the culture of gratitude with a culture of whining and murmuring.

As much as you would want to think someone you never respect has risen the social or economic ladder, they still have little to be grateful for.

First, they have this big sense of entitlement. They feel whatever job they have or their current position in life isn’t worth the salt.

So, instead of appreciating who they are becoming, they focus on external factors. Further, they refuse to take responsibility because they feel it is not their job.

An employee who is not contented with his/her place of work because they feel their salary is below standard or an insensitive boss is micromanaging them may focus on their boss and throw tantrums about how their work is difficult.

However, they forget the fact that he is becoming a different person. You can only become a unique person for good or rather grow if you have the right attitude and mentality in such situations. 

That means taking responsibility for yourself and making decisions for your good and your company.

What Are You Becoming?

If you choose to take responsibility for any tough situation in your life, you will respond to it rather than react. Responding to it means you handle the matter before you with sobriety, emotional intelligence, and wisdom. On the contrary, one who chooses to react has actually refused to take responsibility and would rather correct mistakes or turn combative and prove how capable they can control a given tough situation by reacting.

In every sphere of your life, you better learn to focus on who you are becoming. For instance,

Spiritually, are you becoming more alert and finding your true purpose and call, or are you becoming more deluded?

On positivity, are you focusing more on the negatives and, therefore, complaining more, or are you becoming more of a positive thinker, focusing on the positives and being a ray and light of hope to those negative around you?

In your career, do you have more skills than the ones you had three years ago and the experience to warrant the desired promotion, or do you still need to cover more tracks?

In your relationships with people or marriage, do you have or do what your partner demands, or is it simply taking with no give?

On your health, Are you doing enough to stay healthy by eating the right foods, getting enough sleep, having the right thoughts, and exercising properly, or are you becoming lazy, reckless and obese?

Are you becoming more of a responsible or irresponsible parent in your family?

In all these circumstances, nothing changes until you change your way of doing things, more reason to focus on who you are becoming.

Take Responsibility

You may be tempted to think that it is your job, your spouse or your friend or your parent who makes you not be an achiever; but then, that’s your undoing because you are simply playing victim to situations you know you can control yourself and are within your circle of influence.

Nothing changes until you change.

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“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴ How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵ You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. Matthew 7:3