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4 Misunderstood Statements about Money
Hello good people,
It has been long since we got to interact with each other but I’m fit and sound like a giant fig tree. For a moment, I have been having these negative thoughts about money but on a closer introspection, I realized how wrong I was. To some of us, money has been over glorified at the expense of our families, relationships, friendships and personal development.
Well, who said money isn’t important anyway. Just as you do need it, I also need it to offset some of my bills and keep life moving forward. However, money is not all that matters in life but many other things as well.
If you agree with the aforementioned statement then we are definitely on the same page. Out there, many are the statements concerning money. Many mention it when looking for it or when trying to justify their unwanted conditions.
So today, in the spirit of self-growth and personal development, I would like us to demystify a number of myths about money that get as all on the wrong side of things.
# 1. Money is Everything
If money was everything, then your very breath of life would be dependable on it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about the patient who needs a life-supporting machine that obviously costs money to be used. The thing is, you have an obligation to pay your water bill, electricity bill and et. Cetera but no any single time did anybody from anywhere stood at your doorstep demanding a clearance of your life bill for the years you have so far lived on earth.
Besides, genuine friends and true lasting relationships can never be bought with money.
Let’s say your breath of life was worth $0.01/minute then you need to calculate your age and you will know exactly what amount you will have to part with to pay for your life.
Fortunately for us, all that is unnecessary because the breath of life has been given freely.
The Bible talks about the story of the rich fool in Luke 12:13-21, who after harvesting bountifully thought he still had a life to destroy his barns and build bigger ones for the bountiful harvest only for his life to be taken that very night.
# 2. Excess Money Makes You Immoral
On many occasions, this statement has hit my ears both from friends, foes and family members alike. Clearly, I didn’t get it right what could be the reason they spewed such ignorant statements but the fact remains that they are all wrong. One important question I keep asking myself is whether these individuals would one day in life wish to have a lot of money or not.
You need to know that the excess money being castigated as making one immoral has been used to contain aids and Malaria prevalence in Africa provided relief food in famine and hunger stricken parts of the world, built both churches and schools.
In all these instances, donor funding both from individual and institutional donors has been used immensely but I do not see where money made anyone immoral but to create solutions.
But one thing I do understand very well is money simply picks the character of the beholder. Money in the hands of a drunkard makes him or her more of a drunkard. Same is true for a gambler, child trafficker or drug dealer.
#3. I want to be a Millionaire
This statement is correct in every sense and there is no problem with anyone of us wanting to have millions in our bank accounts. But the question is, what do you want the millions for? Some of the world renown billionaires never had the dream of becoming what they are today but because they were focused on solving a problem or filling a gap by adding value to the way of things, that in itself minted them billions let alone millions. Have someone in mind? Point is, it is not about the millions it is about the purpose you got behind the millions.
If your desire to be a millionaire is driven by anger, need for approval or security think twice because even after you get your millions these issues will still be right there with you.
If your desire to be a millionaire is driven by anger, need for approval or security think twice because even after you get your millions these issues will still be right there with you.
#.4 The Rich Steal to Continue Being Rich
I’m not sure I want to write this statement because I seem to be in limbo myself. This is because; I come from a country where corruption is so rife that making money legally, ethically and morally now appears to be a thing of the past. I must say that this statement is partly true going by corruption dossiers and inquiries done in Kenya and are in public domain. However, I also must add that to anyone of us who has a desire to be counted among the rich, this statement is not the very right one for you. You can’t be what you negatively keep on talking about.
Firstly, this statement paints the rich, something you want to become like thieves and only thieves. What effect will it have on you? You will start resenting the rich, envy them and make them your enemies. You can as well forget about being rich.
I would rather suggest you focus on them that have made much money legally, morally and ethically right rather than sabotage your own billion dollar dream.
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29/06/2018
5 Things to Do When You Feel a Failure in Life
Photo credit: wakeupcloud.com
I’m not sure I want to write about this but deep inside I feel there is a soul out that there that needs some fuelling words to soldier on. That soul could be me or you. The word failure in itself is scary, unwanted and attracts no admiration but sympathy and shame.
In your life right now, you could be having this feeling because of one reason or the other but you need not put yourself down or remain in that fallen state. Life needs to be understood as a journey and not a destination. If you understand life as a journey, well and good because that means you are privy to the fact that a journey is never smooth all through but around comes bumpy and meandering roads.
However, if you understand it as a destination, the bumpy rides along won’t make any sense to you and that means you will walk in negativity, misery, and hopelessness but luckily for you in every Alpha there is always an Omega unless you choose to remain in that situation.
If you are feeling that broken, stuck and way below your peers in life then you need to try this out:
1. Read God’s Word
Reading the Bible has many benefits to your soul that you will come to understand later when you get deep into reading it. From it comes revelation of God’s will over your life, hope over tough situations in your life, an answer for every single situation surrounding your life.
You will read about the story of the Israelites, that despite being God’s chosen people they failed God in many ways, were given unto their enemies, exiled, afflicted but they still remained to be God’s people and God restored them promising them a future and hope. You are not any different because, despite the bumpy ride at the moment, there is a future and a hope for you.
1. Be Inspired by those Who Have Overcome Your Challenge
Hope is a word so simple yet difficult to understand especially when you are at the bottom of the totem pole.
At the bottom, everything seems to be bleak, lifeless and stagnant. That said, it is extremely difficult for someone to understand it when he or she is facing that huge mountain to climb, a financial or emotional struggle.
However, you can find inspiration in those who have conquered the same battles. For instance, there are those who have gone through a stream of bad marriages and failed severely. But later on, they were able to learn from their failures to the point of becoming marriage counselors themselves.
There are those who have broken the bad habits you are struggling with right now. Find inspiration in them and soldier on.
1. Read autobiographies of Great World Leaders
We all know that being a leader comes with a great responsibility of leading people. People look up to you for guidance, direction and rely entirely on your wisdom and leadership skills. Leaders, therefore, whether by chance or choice face difficult situations in their career and life that may devastate them too many times.
Case in point is Abraham Lincoln, a onetime US president who went through a stream of failures in business, politics and his personal life before clinching the seat of the most powerful nation on earth.
1. Know your Failures and Face Them
It is said that successful people take 100% responsibility for what happens to them. Therefore, for life to move forward you have to take action by facing your failures and knowing them for what they are and subsequently laying down a plan to overcome them.
The world does not recognize victims of life or those who play victims to life but heroes and those who have conquered storms in life to bring the ship back home. If it is a financial struggle or overcoming your debts, you need to know all the debts you owe from the smallest to the highest and lay down a plan to clear them as soon as possible. As one author put it if you find yourself in a hole stop digging.
1. Tell Yourself it’s Never too Late
In this voyage called life, the word late is allowed to be relative clearly because one’s lateness maybe another person’s timeliness.
Actually, the point is that everyone operates in their own time zone and your peer owning a company at 25 does not mean something could be wrong with you. However hard you may have worked or tried hard, it is not yet the time to give up but to persist even more because it’s never too late.
Your dream house or company could just be around the corner. If you are still young and energetic, take comfort in the fact that you still have the time to work hard and achieve your goals.
If you felt encouraged or inspired, like and share this post.
14/06/2018
Destined for Greatness? 10 Signs you are
Well, I don’t know about you. But the fact is we are all destined for greatness. Yes! You read me right.
Life on many levels has not encouraged us to see the seeds of greatness we carry. We seem to walk in an oblivious state of the blind side of greatness we possess.
You need to realize that you are not alone in this. Many others know they have a feeling of greatness in them and are trying to find it out.
Some have been born of rich parents. Some have been born with unimaginable talents. Still on the same not, some have been born intelligent and with outstanding character. In all these arrays of things, everyone carries a seed of greatness in them. Yes. Very true.
And therefore, these lead to the 10 crystal clear signs that you carry a great destiny.
1. You Don’t Fear to Dream Big
Some say dreams are just dreams, but show me a person who does not dream? If not, I will show you a person on the verge of extinction.
Great civilizations and revolutions in the world have been born on the mere platform of dreaming.
By all means, possibly dare to dream bigger than your reality because a seed of greatness lies in dreams.
2. You are Destined for Greatness if you Never Stop Learning
A degree is just a percentage of knowledge. In no way does it give you a ticket to put your brain on auto-pilot mode.
That said, it is important to know that people destined for greatness never stop learning. Safaricom, the Kenya giant telecommunication network, had Ksh 55.3 Billion in the year ended March 2018.
The late Bob Collymore was at the helm then. Bob never had a University degree. Nevertheless, he kept learning.
You can learn virtually everything without a degree if you have a hunger for knowledge.
3. You are Destined for Greatness when you Build Great Relationships
Relationships are the hallmarks of human living. As the old saying goes, no man is an island, no matter how introverted you could be.
Learning to be open-minded, listen, and respect other people’s point of view is important.
Knowing how to live right with people is key. Understanding human psychology means you are destined for greatness.
Out of these human relationships emerge great networks. Also, remember that your network is your net worth.
4. Your Third Name is Persistence
You can bounce back even in the face of adversity and life’s misfortunes. You can prove the world wrong.
If this fits you, be sure you are a candidate for greatness.
History is dotted with award-winning movie stars and celebrities who never imagined they would go beyond the theatre stage.
Today, they gross our TV screens. It’s only persistence that can define how far they have come.
5. You Want to be Your Own Boss
You may be an employee that is good and committed to achieving your company’s core values.
However, that has not prevented you from pursuing your own interests and ambitions in life. Maybe you want to start an online business.
You give your employer the same energy levels; you also put in the effort to push forward your passions and ambitions.
6. You Always Want to be Different
John F. Kennedy, former President of the United States, said, “Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.”
Accepting the status quo points to a man who has just killed his seeds of greatness.
One true mark of greatness is daily taking a step to challenge your life mentally, spiritually, and in all possible ways.
7. You Have One Thing You are Willing to Die for
“If you haven’t found something you are willing to die for, you aren’t fit to live.” Martin Luther King Jr.
I couldn’t agree more with the aforementioned quote. Terrorists thrive in their illegal operations because they have found the one thing to die for.
The same extends to you and me. Once you have found the one thing you are willing to die for, you are destined for greatness.
8. You Have no Attachment to Material Things
You know how to control worldly desires, which means living frugally.
Okay, I have the newest Subaru model, but losing it doesn’t mean life will be boring.
Your ability to detach yourself from material things in a world where everybody wants to flaunt their new Rolex or latest BMW in town shows the seeds of greatness you carry.
9. You Have Room for Randomness
Sometimes the best things in life have happened not because of proper planning and timing but sheer randomness.
You wake up one morning with a written to-do list of what to accomplish for the day. Funny enough, your friend shows up at your doorstep and asks that you accompany him to a social event.
Well, it just never turns out to be a social event. Actually, you happen also to find the one who becomes your soulmate.
10. You are Optimistic
Using scripture in the Bible as an analogy to this point, Luke 6:45, in part, says that, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
Anyone negative on the inside will definitely speak negative words. The same is true for one who is positive on the inside.
Ever met someone who made you want to write points every time he or she spoke? If yes, then you know what I mean.
Unleash your seeds of greatness because you are destined for greatness!
Bottom Line
Do you want to know if you are destined for greatness? Well, you just read about what makes you one. In fact, you already are, and this post confirms that you are. Guard your mind and stay positive against all negative forces in life. Safe journey to your great destiny.
18/05/2018
Want to Tone Down Your Body Like that of a Movie Star?
Probably many of us will relate to the fact that we have looked at our bodies again and again with disapproval about the bulging tummy, disappearing waistline, double neck, chin or an obviously shapeless body.
Well, I have a solution for you right now and here. Just hang on and move with me.
You need to look at what clients are saying about these products.
moviewarden had this to say:
You also need to look at other testimonials on our product page.
Our product Clean 9 has proven to perform exceptionally well in creating a slimmer and a healthier you. Celebrities too can attest to its effectiveness in giving them the beautiful and handsome bodies you admire.
Image courtesy of google
What will make a difference in your body is your discipline and adherence to its 9-day detoxification procedure.
Firstly it is advisable to turn down every single invitation to celebrations and parties that will definitely involve heavy eating and drinking.
In the first two days of the nine-day program, you will need to control your food cravings and stick to nutritional shakes. Therm tablets have proven useful to beat food cravings, especially caffeine drinks such as tea and coffee.
What follows is pretty simple to adhere to. You just need to make sure that you are not consuming more than 600 calories per day. That too may depend on your lifestyle. For instance, a mason or a woodcutter may need to consume more but not more than 1000 calories per day.
Strictly avoid junk foods during the 9-day program and you will no doubt lose weight.
More importantly, get in touch with your doctor before beginning the C9 product. A doctor will help you analyze your health, weight, and body better so that you lay down your goals clearly and know where to begin from.
To get our product delivered to you, simply make an order here.
04/05/2018
No Need to Try Hard Solving the Puzzles, Just Let Life Unfold
Image Courtesy of Google
Life like a paradox is one big puzzle that makes you a smile at the beginning of the day and maybe sad at the end. The opposite is also true.
Not once or twice, you will find yourself in situations where all seems stuck and life has nothing better to offer other than a myriad of losses, bad news, and relationships that go south.
At times, the best you can do is to be still and let the chapters of your life unfold without much drama. However, you are the C.E.O of your life and you can make that choice at your discretion.
Problems are part and parcel of our lives and how we handle one problem says a lot about our character and what we are made of and more so how we shall handle the next phase of challenges.
Each new day, we rise up with big dreams, a mountain of hopes and our expectations hitting the roof. On the contrary, the day bids us bye without you or me realizing all of our expectations for the day.
Maybe you looked forward to receiving a phone call about a job interview that the panel members were all smiling at you and everything seemed to have worked perfectly well but no call came through. Or maybe your romantic interest took you on a date that ended up having no chance for a second date. Yes, it has happened so many times to so many people and you are not the first one.
How about that business that you have worked hard on to make it grow but ends just don’t seem to meet yet. No profits, low sales records, narrow customer base, nothing to celebrate but only regrets about pumping your money into a sinking ship.
Still, you may have checked your mail only to find a regret email from your potential business partner or employer.
Most of these life events, unfortunately, strike with no formula and come when you least expect them and when you eagerly hoped for the best.
However, at such a point in time, you need to realize that shifting blame or pointing a finger at a situation, event or person is not the best idea.
Your mind could also go wild and cloud you with all the wrong reasons why life is not working as you would want it to and all seems to be on a downward spiral.
You might want to drink yourself crazy in a bid to calm your nerves and ease the pressure for a while but that too will not let you off the hook.
This is the time in your life when you may appear to be a lone ranger with a few friends and unseen enemies. Your calls for help and sympathy may bounce back and give you no breakthrough at all.
You may wish the angel of death to drop from the heavens like lightning and cut short your life in an instant but you will close your eyes, weep, wish and pray only to open them again still functioning and feeling your breathing rhythm.
“The gods have conspired against me”, you will say in anguish. You will listen to all the soothing songs you can find and try find solace in them but that still may not solve one or all of your puzzles but at least you will feel better for a moment.
However, the universe will care not about the problems you will whine and shout to the world but only when you conquer them.
The secret lies in being tough and strong when life least expects you to and not to fret at any life challenging event nor find solace in superficial avenues but remain still and wait for more of your life chapters to unfold because there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Run with me
18/04/2018
A Letter to my Esteemed Readers
Image courtesy of Google
Hi there,
It gives me much pleasure and joy to pen this letter to you. I must say that your continued support and the courtesy to always stop by has not been in vain but has actually created a strong, positive and forward moving relationship between us.
As narrated earlier, my journey as a blogger began 3 years ago. Back then, my steps were those of a toddler. But then I would tell myself, I would rather walk with baby steps than make no movement at all.
Today, though not at the peak like Jon MorrowI must say that I’m heading there sooner than I think.
Any blogger out there will relate to the fact that it’s never easy to come up with content to post on your blog regularly. And number two, it is never a guarantee that your blog post will go viral and attract more than 1000 visitors within minutes let alone grabbing likes and shares.
Every single blogger out there is always screaming for traffic which obviously like Rome, cannot be built in one day but through months and years of hard work.
To my dear readers who happen to be bloggers like me, let us challenge ourselves even more and stretch beyond our limits by going the extra mile each new day.
To my esteemed readers who feel they should be bloggers by now but haven’t started yet, you should know that the lion that is commonly referred to as the king of the jungle was once a cub. It is never too late for you to join the race.All you need is to identify a particular topic that you feel you are a pro, interests you the most and start cracking.
The internet is now vibrant like never before and no matter how many blogs you create, you will never miss an audience to build traffic to your blog.
To my great readers who are neither bloggers nor want to be bloggers, thank you for being supportive of my work and making my blog your home.
And for this reason, I bring to you the good news that my blog has been nominated for a Bloggers Association of Kenya Award 2018.
For me to rank top as the winner in my category- Best topical blog, I rally and call for your support over the same. This support entails voting for my blog under the Bake Awards by clicking here. You will be prompted to the BAKE website that has a button for voting- VOTE NOW. Press the button vote now and follow the instructions that will follow.
One other thing to note is that WordPress engineers have not only been supportive but very helpful in making sure that I get to know one or two about blogging.
The bottom line is that everyone is destined for success not unless you make the sole decision of dying in mediocrity. However, one important point to put across is that you can always change for the better without envying your neighbor. He or she is not part of your journey and you know not where they could be heading to.
See you at the peak!!!
12/04/2018
Excerpts from the Diary of a Young Scholar
3 Kenyans win Chevening scholarships back in 2015. Image adapted from https://www.nation.co.ke/news/Christian-Turner-hands-top-UK–scholarships-to-30-Kenyans/1056-2865058-x8ah7vz/index.html
Mark sat in his study overlooking the sky blue sea on the Far East. His time in Sweden was almost coming to an end after completing his Master studies in Environmental Economics in a Swedish university. He was in Sweden for a two year Master scholarship.
Three years ago, Mark who hails from Kenya had tried in vain to secure a scholarship for further studies abroad. More than once, his friend Oketch had told him to stop wasting time applying for the so-called scholarships on the reason that competition is very stiff and few get to be accepted into the lucrative scholarship programmes.
Mark couldn’t believe he had come this far. He remembered one conversation he had with his friend Oketch back then about the scholarship that had just earned him a Masters degree.
It was one evening when Oketch got into the house and found his friend busy on the laptop. On taking a closer look, he realized his friend was busy digging up for scholarships on the scholarships for development website.
Oketch hissed,” Man! Are you serious you are still wasting your bundles on these scholarships stuff?”
“But why not?” Answered Mark. “It is worth trying; don’t you think?”
“Worth trying my foot! Oketch retorted.
“What’s the point of applying for these scholarships only to be given heart breaking regret emails? I will tell you these for free Mark and you can take it to the bank. The furthest you can go with these scholarship applications is that you will only get a partial scholarship that gets to foot your tuition fees but you will have to spend a lot on living expenses and accommodation from your own pocket. Poor you!” He added
Mark stared at Oketch wondering what had gotten into him that would make him so pessimistic. Still collected and unrattled by Oketch’s remark he told him off with a head shake and said, “Life is about choices and I will not choose to be limited by your limited mentality. I would rather try and thank God for the regret emails that come. At the very least, it will be worth noting that my application was received and underwent a competitive selection process rather than put my tail between my legs and cow off”
“Ha ha ha ha”, Oketch couldn’t control his laugher outburst. “You fool. So a regret email to you is what counts? And what is it you said you learn from the experience? Nothing at all.”
Mark had heard enough. Not able to hold his nerves anymore he made a u-turn landing on Oketch with a hot slap that sends him sprawling on the floor finally hitting his head on the bookshelf positioned nearby.
As if in solidarity with Mark, the bookshelf tilted a little and first let some books fall onto Oketch before coming after with a bang. Oketch had lost the fight.
Still seething in anger, Mark packed his laptop and left the room as Oketch tried to finish the fight with a lifeless book shelf.
Mark retreated into a friend’s house applied for a Swedish Institute scholarship and luckily for him, there were no regret emails this time around. He left his motherland for Sweden six months after and the rest is history.
A knock on the door bolted Mark back to reality after strolling down the memory lane. It was Jenipher his course mate who had stopped by to check on him.
“Hey Mark, How are you fairing on?”
“Hmmm…I’m doing fine Jenipher, how about you?” Mark replied.
“I’m good but no offense you don’t look yourself today?”
Aaah not at all. I’m good I’m good….” Mark answered almost repeating himself a dozen times. “Would you like something to drink?”
“Sure! Do you have red wine?” asked Jenipher.
“Oh yeah,” Mark says as he heads over to the kitchen and emerges with two glasses of red wine and hands one to Jenipher with a beaming smile.
“So, what next for you? See, you have successfully completed your Masters! You must be the envy of many out there?”
Mark chirped.
“Ooh c’mon, I’m grateful for the comments but it’s not over for me yet. I want to pursue a Ph.D. That has always been my goal from the very beginning” Said Jenipher who hails from Puerto Rico
Mark did not see this coming. For him, many issues were eating into his mind right now and his thoughts shifted between moving back to Kenya, getting married and settling down with a family or pursue further studies in Sweden or the larger Europe.
“I just don’t know what’s next for me?” Mark who is 33 years of age replied.
I need to settle down with a family but I’m still trying to figure out what’s more important to me now between a family and a doctorate degree”
“Maybe you should first settle down Mark. You can always come back for further studies. There is never an end to learning. Don’t you think?’ Jenipher tried hard to help.
“I wouldn’t agree more Jenipher but you realize that a family comes with added responsibilities that call for financial stability on my side something I’m not sure about now. Reason being that my previous company gave me no guarantee of re-employment after the completion of my studies.” Mark cried
Take it easy! Mark. At least be grateful you have come this far. “Jenipher said
Besides, I believe the knowledge you have right now is invaluable and gives you the capacity to develop your country towards sustainable development goals. How about writing a business plan and work on a coming up with a social enterprise that will be line with SDG goal of eradicating hunger and poverty. You don’t need the money, you just need to present your ideas to the right people.”
The creases on Mark’s forehead seemed to disappear as he let his cheek muscles relax into an irresistible smile.
“Yes! You are now talking baby!” Mark shouted.
However, as much as Mark delightedly embraced the idea, he was not oblivious to the fact that the entrepreneurial journey is not for the faint-hearted but comes with a lot of hard work, persistence, the right strategy and the right team to work with.
That is something he would have to consider before delving further into the matter.
Well, the universe has a way of supporting and rewarding the dreamers and go-getters. According to the Law of Compensation- The Universal Law is the Law of Cause and effect applied to blessings and abundance that are provided for us. The visible effects of our deeds are given to us in gifts, money, inheritances, friendships, and blessings.
Mark came out of his victim stature and took life by the neck taking responsibility for every single action in his life having made the resolve that for anything to be it’s all going to be about him.
Mark is now the CEO of Daltic Agriculture, a non-governmental organization that works to eradicate hunger in the lives of small-scale farmers by offering consultancy and soil testing services at affordable rates to help farmers ascertain their soil nutritional and pathological status thus able to make informed choices on what kind of fertilizers will meet their soils nutritional deficiency. Besides, the tests help identify soil born pests and diseases and offer suitable recommendations on what measures farmers could put to use to help treat and cushion their soils against diseases.
The organization is now in the process of training and equipping farmers with soil testing kits that will prove handy in enabling farmers sought out soil issues by themselves.
You alone will make that decision to chart your life forward no one else will.
If you feel encouraged like and share.
08/04/2018
8 Statements From People Who Never Change
1. Don’t look you might see
2. Don’t listen you might hear
3. Don’t think you might learn
4. Don’t make a decision you might be wrong
5. Don’t walk you might stumble
6. Don’t run you might fall
7. Don’t live you might die
8. Don’t change you might grow
Life is about getting out of your comfort zone, taking risks and daring to sail through uncharted waters. And there! you have a self-fulfilling life!
29/03/2018
Is the Marriage Institution Under Siege? (Part 2)
Previously in an earlier post, I talked about how the young and unmarried in society are being fed bad and negative information concerning marriage. The end result is that the young start seeing marriage as a no-go zone but an institution riddled with infidelity, divorce, and violence.
You need to look at God’s original plan for marriage before you choose to walk down that path.
In fact, some have argued that marriage goes against the natural instincts of man. But surely, shouldn’t there be a guiding principle about human romantic relationships?
About a week ago, I happened to attend a men’s seminar. The topic of marriage took center stage with the men spewing a tirade of complaints about their significant other not being up to the task.
Some of the complaints men mentioned included:
- Poor hygiene; this was highly blamed on young mothers who leave the young ones to urinate on the master bed or sofa.
- Short notice on matters that need urgent attention for example when foodstuffs in the house are depleted
- Sharing of responsibilities in the house; one participant narrated how a man was humiliated by his wife after she sent their son to go ask him to go prepare the evening meal. Their son presented the request to his dad while in the company of other men. It is needless to say it was so embarrassing to the man ( It was evident that in this home, there was a duty roaster for preparing meals)
- Men also complained how their women are not quick to dress the way they want them to which forces them to satisfy their eyes on other women.
That said, you need to understand that every marriage has its own fights that can be very well managed and these are just some that were mentioned by men who attended the above-mentioned seminar.
Listening keenly to the proceedings of the said day, it was apparent to me that many factors come in to play about how issues are handled in a marriage.
Factors that came to mind include;
- Your spouse level of education
- Their relationship with God
- Their level of maturity
- How well spouses know each other. It is possible that two people could be living together yet do not know each other.
A few men in the seminar had also been accompanied by their wives. Being women, they were on the receiving end of the day’s discussions and could not bring themselves to merely listen but had to voice their side of things too.
Some women complained that the men always have high expectations and demand too much from them. Are they justified?
At one point, we all went back to the drawing board, the Bible, in the book of Genesis 2.20 where God dialogues about creating a suitable helper for man.
While we all agreed that woman was created as a helper and companion to man; which means man can handle virtually every responsibility in the home except for child delivery and breastfeeding a line had to be drawn between what responsibilities the man and woman should manage in the house.
However, love knows no limits and many couples are known to go beyond this cut out responsibilities in the name of love. Besides, physical complications or sickness could also rub off the line on the issue of duties.
African Traditional Culture, clearly differentiated responsibilities between the boy and the girl child. Boys were raised to take on roles that demanded a lot of physical energy and bravery such as digging, building, hunting and taking care of livestock.
On the other hand, the girl child was raised to be a woman of virtue and take responsibility in the home. Some of the duties they undertook included preparing meals, fetching water and firewood, cleaning among other responsibilities.
On the contrary, time is of the essence, and for a fact, we live in the modern age dispensation where you hear of the miss independents and senior bachelors. The Western culture has also taken shape so rapidly in the African setting and couples sometimes find themselves lost on how to conduct and carry themselves about in their marriage.
From the issues mentioned above, a marriage lies in the hands of the two people who made the life-changing choice of living together, and it’s only them who will find a way of navigating through the storms that will come along.
23/03/2018
Is the Marriage Institution Under Siege?
Image courtesy of Google
Sometime back while on a public vehicle, I happened to be seated in front of two young ladies who were having an animated conversation on a range of life issues.
Given the nature of Kenyans on PSVs,(Passenger Serving Vehicles), many were hardly talking except for pleasantries and demanding their money changes from suspicious looking touts.
Being ears reach from the two ladies, I got wind of the marriage topic they were discussing.The fact that they cast aspersions on the married and the marriage institution surprised me.
The two young ladies, fit as fiddles, averagely beautiful and potential mothers were saying that marriage does not work in the 21st century and would instead live as single women or single mothers.
We are all aware of the fact that marriage has its own ups and downs, but that should not be a justification for saying no to it mainly by single unmarried women or men.
Folklore, in a bid to inspire women to embrace the marriage institution, tells of how the 19th-century woman could withstand the challenges that arose in marriage, including her cheeks being warmed with fiery slaps but could still not pack her bags and leave😢😢.
Image courtesy of Google
However, it appears that a lot must have changed since then. Of course, the issue of male chauvinism is also a factor to consider per se.
Not like a script to rehearse before the stage play, a simple misunderstanding, remark, or a more complicated scenario like unfaithfulness or domestic violence in marriage could throw the spanner in the works, rendering the once an oasis of joy into a desert of its former self.
Most youths have been on the forefront to castigate the marriage life, citing abuse, infidelity, and mistreatment of the spouse.Whether its something they see and hear from their married neighbors, I cannot tell for sure.
But for a fact, moral indecency and deprivation could be a significant factor affecting the marriage institution today.
In the olden days, before many of us had the chance to see the sun, stories concerning sex, one’s sexual escapades, and bedroom matters were spoken in hush tones and were considered private but not anymore.The internet, as I write this is awash with all kinds of funny and quite shameful stories about a pastor caught in the act, somebody’s wife or husband adultery ways busted, a man marrying his house help as a second wife.
If you think this is enough to change attitudes and perceptions toward marriage then you need check again.I want to believe that no one is oblivious to the fact that our radio stations are darlings to topics that center on infidelity, divorce, domestic violence resulting in the death of a spouse, homicides and you name them in a bid to win more listeners and heat up their shows.
From the foregoing, whether you choose to confirm or deny it, its quite clear that our minds are being fed with bad, negative and sad information day in day out about the marriage institution.
Unknowingly, we pick the attitudes, perceptions and the spirits of those we listen to more often that we think.
This culminates in a phobia towards the married and the marriage institution.Thanks to
technology, your Smartphone makes available all the ‘juicy’ gossip you will want to hear about a celebrity or prominent person.
As if not enough, the marriage institution has been mocked severally by wedding attendees who show up at a wedding to celebrate their friends’ wedding but talk negatively about marriage.
Worse still, the issue of a mistress, commonly referred to as ‘mpango wa kando‘ has been a much-hyped topic that it no longer looks distasteful but a way of life to the married.
I don’t know where the rains started beating us, but something has to change really fast.
Recently, while attending a brethren fellowship, the marriage topic could not escape the
speech of those present as it was clear that the men, in particular, had broken their vows (if they were made at all) in search of the other woman. This begs the question: are men natural explorers who feel tamed with one woman or is it the women who have a problem with keeping their men?
As a final thought, I believe marriage is still holy, God-ordained and still has the reverence it deserves.Therefore, going forward, the youth and the unmarried should borrow a leaf from couples who have walked the talk, lived in the test of times and still stand with their marriage vows. Are there any in the first place? Yes, I believe we still have some good souls left.
On the contrary, while it is good to listen and empathize, they should shun the advice and negative talk from those who have fallen victim or are paying a price for their wrong moves.
What do you think?
16/03/2018