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Yes! Men talk is becoming rare and there is little we are doing about it. People don’t want to share their scars, which I know is hard but it’s what brings healing.
Three days ago, I reached out to a college mate and an acquaintance I had met in my line of duty. I didn’t call them; It was a normal chat via the popular social media chat app: Whatsapp.
This is coming against a backdrop of social restrictions due to the pandemic. People rarely see each other eye to eye, making people use Whatsapp and text as an easy way to keep in touch. Let me not mention the recently added call charges by Safaricom – My main network provider
Back to my story, I was checking on these guys. For one, a meme he had posted on Whatsapp drove me to his inbox. For the other, I opted to be courteous and drop a Hi to kick off a conversation.
To my disappointment, we didn’t have much to talk about in both scenarios. After the normal pleasantries, one guy trailed off, leaving me with grey ticks. A worst-case yet is the one who blue-ticks and hardly bothers to reply to your question or pleasantries. This sets the background to what we want to discuss today: Men talk!
For my college mate, we had a light chat for about a minute and wrapped it up. Should we conclude that men are poor at chatting or too busy to create meaningful conversations and relationships?
Men Talk and Work-Life Balance
It’s a fact that age comes with responsibility. As men age and settle down into careers, marriages, and families, the pressure to be the best version of themselves keeps mounting. Your family, friends, and society expect you to be a winner if not setting yourself up for success. The men talk syndrome takes precedence.
Some men also perceive men talk as an avenue to air out their personal challenges and hurdles as weak and would rather suffer in silence. Unfortunately, the consequences of this stand are dire.
With a vision, determination, and hard work, you can realize your dreams. The problem is men, in their pursuit of success, are risking their friendships and social life. Men with an entrepreneurial spirit are the epitome of an anti-social life thanks to their crazy ambitions and valid dreams.
You are racing against your SMART goals, and some weekends could go by as you spend time in your projects holed up somewhere by yourself or your team.
Unfortunately, this could be disastrous for you in the long run. If all turns out good, your hard work will pay off, making you the millionaire next door. On the flip side, life at the peak could be quite lonely for you in that you neglected to invest in meaningful human relationships.
For example, if you are an entrepreneur, the only people you may have kept around you are other entrepreneurs who also had little time for themselves, their families, and their friends. The bottom is lonely but so can be the top if men won’t talk and find it important to build valuable relationships.
It can be scary listening to your footsteps in a bungalow because you invested too much in your business or work and forgot the other aspects of life.
Social Media
I like social media – Facebook, Whatsapp, and the Gram but for isolated reasons and not for the entire purpose of sharing memes and making friends. Most businesses are going digital, and using social media handles to generate leads and create conversions for their products or service is of the essence.
Social Media I https://www.bbc.com/
On the contrary, social media is creating zombies out of us. Add a Smart gadget to the mix, and you have got real social relationships in a survival mode. With the pandemic in place, there is reduced social interaction and more social media interactions.
There is an extreme attachment to the smartphone thanks to social media. The addiction to social media today is like the one for drugs. All you need is to tap into your Whatsapp and check a hilarious meme. There you have your dopamine rush, and the cycle continues.
The Danger that Lies Within
Unfortunately, the kind of life teens and youth live on social media does not receive applause. We are raising young people with poor social skills and etiquette.
Before the hype of social media, men were quiet, and now, it’s hype men are talking less. How are we going to solve this moving forward?
https://social awkwardnessI sites.psu.edu/
So, What’s The Solution to the Men Talk Syndrome
We need to cultivate a culture of open talk, especially among men. This is what I call men talk. I call this talk therapy. Men, you will forgive me for being brutal with you today. But unfortunately, when it comes to talking therapy, we can’t compare with women. Men talk is lacking unfortunately to our detriment. Women are more open to each other and would freely open up about underlying issues bedeviling them.
I’m married, and I can attest to the number of women who open up to my wife about a myriad of issues. Statistics time and again have proven that women live longer than men.
How so? The common cliche that a problem shared is a problem solved adds weight to the statement mentioned above. Women share their stress levels and problems with their lady friends. And they do this so frequently, unlike men who may hardly do this or share their issues with fellow men once in a blue moon.
Men don’t want to show their scars but only what looks good for the camera. A happy family, nice car, nice pet, flying places, and all that social media hype.
At some point in my life, I was struggling with addiction issues. I took a bold step and became vulnerable with a peer knowing he was the right person to share my pains with. My guts told me he was the guy who could give me the advice I very much needed.
Sadly, the guy freaked out and muted. You don’t want to be that person who shares their deep stuff only for someone to go silent on you. Somebody ran away with your secret :).
Grab the Challenge
That being said, I welcome you to take this challenge with me. Join the conversation. We encourage men to suggest a couple of topics that they would find worthwhile engaging in to help them talk more.
If you are with me on this, follow the link below and fill out the form that pops up to register for a man talk conference meet-up. Take the step and share wide and large. Men must talk with fellow men, not about Arsenal 🙂 but real-life issues. Men talk is of the essence.
Setbacks are inevitable in life. Your prayer should not only be never to experience them but to emerge stronger whenever you face them. It’s easy to talk or write about pain, but it isn’t easy to go through it. That’s why I want to talk about accelerated self growth.
Soldiers at war don’t always expect to lose the battle, but sometimes the worst happens. They may not only lose the battle but suffer a severe injury that could cost a part of their limb or body.
A Life Experience of Using Setbacks for Self Growth
Kionte is one of many such cases. He served as a US Marine soldier and suffered an injury that left him no right foot after stepping on an IED. Not only had he suffered the pain, but he had a lot to regret. But later on, he found relief by opening up to a friend and sharing his story with a therapist. Watch the video below for more.
Using setbacks for personal growth
Think about the last time you went through hell on earth. I mean anything that could have made you miserable or reduced your quality of life. How did you handle it, and what lessons did you learn that you feel made you the person you are today?
Maybe you haven’t overcome that setback, and you’re still taking a beating from life. It could be the loss of a job. A business deal went sour, making you lose lots of money; a toxic or abusive relationship that left you in tatters; struggling with trauma or bad past experiences.
It’s important to mention that you are the best candidate for accelerated self growth. Sometimes all you need to catalyze your personal development is pain, suffering, or regret.
If sleeping on the floor for years will be your motivator for accelerated self growth, so be it. Pain or suffering shouldn’t put you in a cocoon of shame and self-pity. On the flip side, it should catapult you to greater heights.
Accelerated Self Growth
Are there ways to accelerate personal growth? Let’s take a deeper dive into this.
Personal development is a prerequisite to achieving any success in life. There are no two ways or shortcuts to it. Your success in life is directly related to how valuable you are in the marketplace. Here are some pointers to accelerate your self growth.
1. Be Intentional About Accelerating your Self Growth
Handle your personal growth like a baby. If you don’t take care of it, the little being won’t grow.
That means your every action will be geared towards the baby’s growth. Being intentional about your self growth helps you pay attention to your progress and make the necessary adjustments.
For example, if your current goal is financial freedom, you will want to watch your spending and saving habits to avoid losing money.
2. Accept when you are Wrong
I find this is almost always the hardest thing to do; accepting that you are wrong. People always think accepting you’re wrong will make you look weak and good for nothing.
But the fact is that it is the start point of accelerated self growth.
You seldom grow by leaving in denial. Accepting that you are wrong is a strength of character. You are not doing anyone a favor but you because that is the moment you start changing for the better.
3. Constantly Seek Knowledge
Knowledge is power. You have read that before and even heard it being said.
Making money without investing is not making money at all. You can invest the money you make in yourself, a business, or buy stocks or assets. Unfortunately, many make money to pay bills, and that’s where everything stops.
One easy way to accelerate your self growth is toinvest yourself in constant study and knowledge seeking. Success comes when you make yourself more valuable than the average Joe.
Read books, attend webinars and enroll in courses that add value to your business or career growth.
4. Enjoying Doing the Uncomfortable
Things like watching your favorite Netflix show, going for a nature walk, or spending time on social media are enjoyable. You don’t sweat over them, but they hardly add significant value to your life.
Fun stuff kills your boredom for a while but keeps you at the same level of life for ages. Conversely, activities like writing a book, waking up early for a morning run, doing a work assignment, or reviewing your goals aren’t enjoyable.
The absolute truth is that they will make you uncomfortable over and over. But accelerated self growth is not about being comfortable. It’s about learning to live with intentional discomfort today so that you can make a living with problems easier tomorrow.
Growth is about living with intentional discomfort today so that you can make a fortune tomorrow.
Murunga Kiniale
5. Give More than What You Take
Smile at the world, and it will smile back at you. In other words, what you give out is what you get back. Many people always play the victim or play needy even when they have it all to get whatever they want in an opportunity.
This is contrary to walking and living with an abundant mindset. You can choose to be different. Accelerating your self growth starts from a mind of abundance and not scarcity.
Even in your lack or limitations, always see what value you can add to people’s lives to improve them. Don’t always be the one receiving year in and year out. You need to ask yourself right now: What are you giving back to your family, church, and society?
Take the example of a business owner or an entrepreneur who chooses to train and build their team free of charge to be valuable to him or her in the future. Everyone is learning something in the process and growing. I’m reminded of a quote by Bob Marley, “Live for yourself and you will live in vain – Live for others and you will leave again. ”
Live for yourself and you will live in vain – Live for others and you will leave again
Bob Marley
6. Join a High-Performance Group
Human beings need one another to spur their growth and personal development. If you feel you are slow on performance or productivity, it’s time to find out what high-performing peers or people are doing and whether you can join their train.
Preferably, enter a high-performance team or group and learn from their wins and failures. You will be able to sync up with their energy in many areas and move forward together.
Imagine being with highly ambitious and proactive people in a room. Sooner or later, you will also be bubbling in that energy and ambition. As a team, you can accelerate your self-growth at the team and individual levels.
Great minds are put together to solve more significant problems than a single demotivated mind.
7. Narrow Down
Sometimes one of the major killers to our productivity and accelerated self growth is wanting to do everything and anything. You may be doing this out of ambition or urgency, but this could give you the opposite results of what you expect.
The next thing you will be experiencing is burnout, demotivation, and wanting to quit. How about narrowing it down to one or two essential things instead of doing ten things simultaneously?
According to the 80/20 principle, 80% of what we do produces 20% results. It’s way more productive to have a laser focus on what you choose to do with your 80%.
Decide to handle one thing at a time until you feel things can stand independently as you also focus on other projects.
8. Develop an Effective Morning Routine
How to start your day highly determines how the rest of your day will be. If you started your day late and rushed, you could mess up it entirely.
It is said that highly successful people spend 3-5 hours of their early mornings getting done with the important stuff before the rest of the world wakes up. You want to be deliberate about how you start your day.
Yours could be a devotion, a workout, or reading 20 pages of an investment book. The critical thing to note here is you need to wake up with a purpose, a predetermined set of goals, or to-do lists you want to achieve for the day.
Waking up early with no plan on how you intend to spend your early morning is a waste of time. Have a plan the evening before and wake up to do what you planned to handle.
9. Remove Distractions from your Productive Environment
Perhaps the pandemic has taught us the hard way how to work from home. This didn’t come easy for anyone. If you have worked from home, you know that productivity killers are all over, which could significantly hamper your self growth.
Distractions create a low-energy environment that doesn’t work in sync with your high-energy levels. According to science, your biology and your psychology are shaped according to your external conditions.
A biologist named Bruce Lipton puts it this way, “The environment determined the fate of the cells, not the genetic pattern. So if cells are in a healthy environment, they are healthy. If they’re in an unhealthy environment, they get sick.”
The environment determined the fate of the cells, not the genetic pattern. So if cells are in a healthy environment, they are healthy. If they’re in an unhealthy environment, they get sick.
Bruce Lipton
10. Know your Why
Your ‘Why’ is the primary reason you want to do or achieve something. For you to realize accelerated self growth, you need to make your way crystal clear.
This should be the drive or fuel that will keep you going for a long time. Your why is like having a purpose behind your goals. Here is an example of a why:
Example: I want to save and invest because I want to achieve financial freedom.
You could deepen this further by mentioning how financial freedom will change your life and others around you.
Wrap Up
If you have suffered severe setbacks before or are currently undergoing them, this isn’t the time to stop and give up on life. Use your setbacks for accelerated self growth. We hope the pointers above will help you be a better person tomorrow by achieving your life goals and living a happier life.
If you asked me whether life has a manual, I would have answered you with a yes. It’s that just people don’t give heed to guidance sometimes. There’s never a one size fits all kind of experience. One guy tries doing business today; it picks up within months. Another tries the same business and closes it within the first year. But do me a favor, regardless, never give up.
And that’s why you are better off learning from your own failed experiences because it will be foolhardy to repeat the same mistakes twice.
What I mean to drive home is you should be more afraid of comfort zones than taking risks. How would you love your script to be: Play safe today and die poor tomorrow or take risks today and die rich or trying to be.
The words ” Never give up” have always rung in our ears for the longest time we can remember. But just how do you resist the temptation to give up, pack your bags and leave. We talk about this today, showing you how not to give up and be a 5x better person.
How not to Give Up When you Want to
1. Take a Break
We’ve all been there. Where everything you touch seems to have conspired with the universe not to work when in your hands.
By this time, your confidence is down the toilet, you’re cash-strapped, and the little left of your project seems not to be going anywhere. Motivation gurus have told you to be consistent.
But the more you push, the more the hurdles. If you feel you are at this point, stop and disengage yourself from whatever you are trying to do. Take a break, however long you want, if at all it will help you feel better and in control again.
Preferably, you shouldn’t take a break to sleep. You could listen to your favorite music, go camping or take a road trip for some days. Jump at your hobby or even attend a seminar or constructive workshop.
2. Note Down What’s Working and What’s Not. Focus on What Works
Companies, small businesses, and organizations often undergo restructuring and change their growth strategies either to cut costs, expand their client base, be more efficient, or both.
It’s something that companies must face time and again, or else they could go out of business. Similarly, you should also take stock periodically of what’s working and what’s not.
Success doesn’t come on autopilot mode. You have to be intentional and strategic, or otherwise, you won’t cut it. If action A doesn’t produce the results you need, how about trying action B.
Still, if nothing seems to change, how about combining both routes. There has to be a way around your current problem in business, relationship, or career.
No going back.
No calling it quits
No, you aren’t going to give up!
3. Focus on the Process, Not the Goal
Many times we are told to have SMART goals. This is a good thing because having goals keeps you on your toes, working hard to meet them. However, come to think of it, we rarely meet our goals 99% of the time.
And that in itself could be discouraging, especially when the % could be way lower. How about focusing on the process and not the goal.
Give yourself room for failure and adjust your goals but more importantly, learn something through the process. Let’s say your goal was to make your business global by the end of 2020. But because of other bottlenecks that were out of your control, you weren’t able to hit your goal.
See, you are learning something through the process, which puts you in a position to make better and more informed decisions next time.
Or your goal could’ve been to walk down the aisle before the year ends, but as things turn out, you realize the man who was to walk you down the aisle is a liar and not the person you thought you knew.
The relationship will end, but that’s not the end of your story. You are learning something through the process.
4. Seek Help when you Need It
Even the smartest or most intelligent people in the world need people or a team to work with them. Bill Gates never built Microsoft alone. Mark Zuckerberg had many other geeks who helped him build Facebook into the behemoth it is today.
Their team insights, ideas, and intelligence helped drive their companies’ visions to greater heights. In life, you will need help from lots of people.
Such people could be your peers, colleagues, a business partner; even your ex-somebody could come around amazingly.
One way not to give up in life or endeavor is to seek help when you really need it. Maybe you just needed one word from a friend for that eureka moment.
5. Keep Doing what you Do Best
During Pilot training on safety rules, one of the main things they are always told to do is keep flying the plane no matter what happens. Imagine a pilot stops flying the plane in midair.
What happens next will be more disastrous. That should tell you something. Always keep doing what you do best. You will suck at some point and even be laughed at, but that is always part of growth.
Fix your eyes on what you can do best and keep moving forward. At the end of it all, you will be far much better than the person who decided to stop and listen to what every ingrate is saying around them.
If praying is what you do best, keep praying no matter the pain. If it’s singing, keep singing, even if you don’t seem to get the traction and likes you expect on social media.
Don’t give up because of what’s happening around you. In his book, Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill mentions that people give up when success is just around the corner. You don’t want to be that kind of person.
6. Detach Yourself from Negativity
It takes great mental strength to keep looking at the positive side of things when they seem to go the other way. Perhaps Abraham Lincoln, the 16th president of the United States, is a good person to mention here.
Referred to as the emancipator of slaves, he rose from humble beginnings and went through a troubled childhood where he lost his mother. It’s always refreshing to read his biography.
Sure, he was the perfect candidate to give up in life and mention all kinds of excuses for his failures, but he didn’t.
If your negativity stems from your past life experiences, make peace with your past and let go as fast as possible. Similarly, if you have a negative circle, drop it because it’s not doing you any good.
A positive outlook on life is key to your success and where you want to go next.
How to Bounce Back and be 5x Better
It has been mentioned before that there are no problems but only a shortage of ideas. With better ideas, life is made easier and manageable.
So, your not giving up and bouncing back will be premised on the following:
1. Taking Responsibility
If looking to be a better version of yourself, you need to own your problems. Blame games aren’t part of the success script. Nothing works until you decide to make them.
Whether it was your uncle you feel made you never marry the man of your dreams, or your business partner who ran down your business, take responsibility for your decision and avoid blaming other people who might have been involved.
You only get better when you take charge of your pain points.
2. Learning from your Bad Experiences
Your experience must have been painful and disastrous. Probably, there might have been poor decisions you made that gave you bad results and made you want to give up in life.
Your experience also served as an eye-opener to the things you shouldn’t have done. On the flip side, this is good for you because it means you won’t repeat your mistakes.
3. Learning to Accept What Happened
If you ask me, this is hard but a vital process to come to terms with. Many choose to live in denial after going through a setback.
But this isn’t sustainable. A good way to go through your pain or low point is to accept everything that happened. That is how you begin to bounce back to becoming a better person.
4. Practicing Emotional Intelligence
When you are at your lowest point, emotions always run high, making you bitter and toxic to the poor innocent chaps around you. That shouldn’t be you.
Learn to manage the damaging flood of emotions that lurk around and keep your head sober because things will get better eventually.
Emotional intelligence is all about managing your emotions and those of the people around you. You will bounce back faster this way. Yes! I hope you haven’t given up yet.
5. Don’t Stop Dreaming
The fact that you wanted to give up before shouldn’t make you stop pursuing your dreams. The difference between where you are today and where you will be tomorrow is time.
Take one step at a time and use the power of your imagination to visualize a great future before you. What you can conceive you can achieve if you commit your time to execution.
Wrap Up
Life is a journey with several chapters. Some chapters will leave you cursing and blaming everybody, while others will make you feel happier and a winner.
How you handle the low moments is what determines how you move forward. The easiest thing to do when at the lowest point is to give up.
Unfortunately, this is never the best option for you. Use the tips above to bounce from any setback that will make you want to give up in life.
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Positive thinking has many benefits, including good health, mind-relaxation, hardworking habit, and most important,Success in life.
There are several positive thinking strategies recommended by science that play an effective role in your life and keep track of success.
Your thoughts are the pre-steps of your actions. You cannot beat your bad time without a positive thinking habit.
Finally, huge numbers of failed people blame their luck and lack of resources. History has lots of examples that show that resources and luck do not matter.
Only positive thinking and attitude are required that can lead you to success.
What is Positive Thinking?
Positive thinking(also known as an optimistic attitude) is an attitude to stay encouraged in the bad situations of life and think that things will be better in the future.
A positive thinker not only thinks but practically shows a positive attitude and finds ways to make the situation better.
Finally, you will see the positive thinking benefits in your life, just as theAmerican gymnast Mary Lou Retton said:
Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.
Does Positive Thinking Work?
Photo by Los Muertos Crew
The mechanism is very simple. An optimistic attitude reduces the stress on your mind, gives you the courage to deal with the situation, and gives hope that the bad time will end soon.
Studies have proved that positive thinking has benefits that are required thing to be successful in life.
So no matter whether you have resources or not, if you have an optimistic attitude, you can win the success game.
What can be the Effect of positive Thinking on your Life?
Your thoughts are directly related to the level of stress.
If you think negatively, you increase stress on your mind which will increase the situational fear in your mind, and as a result, your decisions, plans, and actions will not be effective.
Positive thinking has great effects on the mentality. It keeps your mind stress-free and peaceful. With a peaceful mind, you can plan better and deal with any situation.
How to Develop Positive Thinking Habit
I can understand, that it is not easy to overcome your negative thoughts. But you have to do it because success in life will not be possible without an optimistic attitude.
Roy T. Bennett, a politician, and a writer has told a formula for creating a positive thinking habit:
Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create.
You will automatically start thinking positively by following this formula practically. Following are the positive thinking strategies that will help you to build it as a habit.
1. Be the Boss of your own Thoughts
The very first thing is to control your thoughts. You have to stop your mind from thinking negatively and concluding bad results.
Just do your job and give yourself courage that the result will be good.
2. Think that you can
You have to keep yourself motivated. Mental health professionals tell a simple trick to motivate you on your own.
You just have to stand in front of a mirror and say that you can do the job that you want. Repeat this exercise every day in the morning and the evening.
3. Stay in the Company of Positive Thinkers and Encouragers
Do your companions taunt you? Do not worry! They are just trying to say that if they could not be successful in life, you also cannot.
You have to resist them with an optimistic attitude and if not possible, try to avoid them and find some people who can encourage you.
4. You must have an Ideal Personality
I am sure that you already have a tycoon in your mind and dream to be successful like him.
If you want to take all the benefits of positive thinking, first read your ideal personality’s biography and know how he became successful.
5. Read Encouraging Books, Stories and Watch Movies
The stories of people who became famous and successful without resources will surely give you courage and force you to stay positive in every situation.
So, reading motivational books, stories, biographies, and watching movies can help you to build positive thinking habits.
How do Positive Thinking Strategies Lead to Success?
You have read five methods or strategies for building an optimistic attitude. You may also want to know the benefits of positive thinking.
1. Makes you Social
This might be the coolest effect of positive thinking. People always like positive thinkers as an optimistic person can suggest the solutions or at least give them the courage to face them.
Hence after developing this habit, you are going to be more social.
2. Improve Decision Power
This is another great positive thinking benefit that will lead you toward success. If your decision power is good, then the output will also be good.
In addition, positive thinking makes you a critical thinker so, you will always analyze different aspects of a problem before proposing a solution.
3. Keep you Relaxed
You will remain stress-free even in the worth conditions, and your mind will be focused on thinking of the solution to get out of a bad situation.
This all will be happening if you have thrown away your negative thoughts.
4. Keep you Focused
After following positive thinking strategies practically, you will be more focused on your goals. As a result, you will work in a better way and keep progressing toward the goal.
Wrap Up
We hope you have learned something today about positive thinking and its relation to success. If you found this content enjoyable, please share it with friends and family. You can also subscribe to our blog and get a free e-book on positivity.
Is positive thinking an illusion, or is it the secret to living a successful and rewarding life? Can success be linked to a negative mind? I highly doubt that. What about positive thinking quotes? Do you think we should interact with them and to what end?
To start with, some believe that positive thinking is an unrealistic way to live life. They argue it’s akin to building castles in the air. Or rather, it’s like whitewashing your problems.
But we must agree that darkness and light cannot be in the same room. Take positive thinking to be the light and the negative mind to be darkness. All these can’t be in the same person.
Of course, we will not ignore the fact that there are specific areas of your life where you could be struggling with negativity.
If you are always a positive thinker, life will turn out to be positive for you. On the flip side, a negative mind will undoubtedly attract things that border on the negative.
Trailblazers, captains of industries, and great athletes always have this one thing in common: positivity. Not that they were born with a silver spoon, but over time, they decided that in the pursuit of their goals, no matter the hurdles, they embrace positive thinking and leverage it to achieve their goals.
Suppose you are torn between positive and negative thinking and whether these two comparisons exist or work; In that case, you may want to look at our list of positive thinking quotes from different authors and maybe use them as a panacea to counter a negative life.
Positive Thinking Quotes
“A positive attitude is something everyone can work on, and everyone can learn how to employ it”.
Joan Lunden – American journalist and TV show host.
2. “It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts”.
Robert H. Schuller, American televangelist, author, pastor, and motivational speaker
3. “I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life”.
Paula Deen, American TV personality, Cooking show host.
4. “Say and do something positive that will help the situation; it doesn’t take any brains to complain”.
Robert A. Cook, Pastor, Christian author, and radio broadcaster
5. “Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will”.
Zig Ziglar -American author and motivational speaker.
6. “No matter what you’re going through, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, and it may seem hard to get to it, but you can do it and just keep working towards it, and you’ll find the positive side of things”.
Demi Lovato, an American actress, and singer
7. “Always turn a negative situation into a positive situation”.
Michael Jordan, former professional basketball player, businessman
8. “When you wake up every day, you have two choices. You can either be positive or negative; an optimist or a pessimist. I choose to be an optimist. It’s all a matter of perspective”.
Harvey Mackay, American businessman, and author
9. “You’re going to go through tough times – that’s life. But I say, ‘Nothing happens to you, it happens for you.’ See the positive in negative events”
Joel Osteen, American televangelist, pastor, author, and businessman
10. “That’s my gift. I let that negativity roll off me like water off a duck’s back. If it’s not positive, I didn’t hear it. If you can overcome that, fights are easy”.
George Foreman, former professional boxer, entrepreneur, minister, and author
11. “Do what is right, not what is easy nor what is popular”.
Roy. T Bennett, Author of The Light in the Heart
More Quotes by Roy T. Bennett
12. “Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you choose wisely”.
13. “More smiling, less worrying. More compassion, less judgment. More blessed, less stressed. More love, less hate”.
14. “Don’t let the expectations and opinions of other people affect your decisions. It’s your life, not theirs. Do what matters most to you; do what makes you feel alive and happy. Don’t let the expectations and ideas of others limit who you are. If you let others tell you who you are, you are living their reality — not yours. There is more to life than pleasing people. There is much more to life than following others’ prescribed paths. There is so much more to life than what you experience right now. You need to decide who you are for yourself. Become a whole being adventure.”
15. “Start each day with a positive thought and a grateful heart”.
16. “Believe in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you imagine”.
17. “Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create”.
18. “Good consistent habits are the hallmarks of a successful life”.
Job Kiniale, Life coach and author
19. “Do not allow negative thoughts to enter your mind, for they are weeds that strangle confidence”
Bruce Lee, Martial Arts instructor, and Philosopher
20. “This is one of the most important themes I want you to take from me: Stay as positive and upbeat as you can possibly be. I’ll say it many times: if you can dream it, you can be it”.
John Calipari, American basketball coach, won the NCAA championship in 2012
21. “At some point, you just have to decide you’re going to be confident. Then, as you do, you’re going to have more success”.
Mike Leach, American Football coach
22. “The originality of your ideas is an expression of the fertility of your mind”.
Wale Akinyemi, Kenyan author and motivational speaker
23. ” I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter”.
Walt Disney, an American entrepreneur
24. “You have to listen to the people who have a negative opinion as well as those who have positive opinions. Just to make sure that you are blending all these opinions in your mind before a decision is made.”
Carlos Ghosn, Brazilian born businessman
25. There’s nothing more important than attitude, and it’s YOUR choice.
Mike Krzyzewski, American basketball coach
Well, at the end of the day, quotes are just quotes. The thing is, you should be your own source of positivity. Let’s say quotes just come in handy to catalyze or unleash the positivity that is already inside it. Some positive thinking quotes are going to make sense, while some will make no sense at all. You be the judge.
And that is it. Just like positivity is a choice you make, so is negativity. You can see that most of these positive thinking quotes are coming from people who have some significant success in their lives, whether in business, sports, or a calling. Join the positive champions by subscribing to our blog for more positivity tips via our free ebook.
Do you have a bad day? Maybe you missed a necessary appointment, a date failed, or your presentation turned out badly at an office meeting.
How do you keep it positive during the day or the rest of the week?
Notably, as humans, we will always have positive and negative thoughts flowing through our minds. That’s acceptable.
The negative thoughts you are having in your mind right now could be bad news, an awful experience, or a negative remark about you.
Is there something you could do about your negative thoughts and feelings, or should you let them settle in and make you bitter, angry, and miserable?
Don’t think about that route because we got eighteen positive thinking exercises that could be the antidote you need for your negativity.
Let’s get straight to them.
18 Positive Thinking Exercises For Success
1. Pause and Take a Breath
Have you ever talked so fast? Maybe the MC called on you to give a speech at a family meeting or a friend’s wedding, and all hell broke loose.
After the speech, you don’t remember a word you said.
You let nervousness reign messing you up. You probably finished talking while burning up on the inside on how you made a fool of yourself.
Next time you find yourself in this situation, take things slow. Pause and take deep breaths.
Focusing on your breath will bring you back to the moment. You will stop focusing on yourself, get your mind calmer, and handle the situation better.
2. Use the Mirror Technique
When you stand in front of a mirror, what do you see? Yourself, right?
Can you use positive words to describe the image you see in front of you?
Your comments could go like, “I’m confident,” “I’m in control.” I love and accept the person I am.”, “I’m fearfully and wonderfully made.”
You could make this a routine and do this every morning when you wake up. The positive words you speak of yourself keep you cheerful, enabling you to handle the rest of the day with a positive mindset.
3. Believe you are Succeeding
It’s easy to give up when you see everything is going to fail. That is going to make you negative.
Whether it was a short-term or long-term project you were dealing with, you don’t want to go through with it as if you are forced to handle it.
In everything you do, believe things will work out, and of course, you will start coming up with ways of making them work.
Thank me when you succeed.
4. Be Active
One other way to exercise positivity is to be active. A sedentary lifestyle is more routine and doesn’t count much in keeping you positive, especially when you feel negative.
Get out there and take a hike.
Lift weights, and you will feel you have pumped something out of your chest.
At the end of it all, you will feel more positive than when you started.
5. Talk and laugh at the Challenges you are facing
I didn’t say you share all your problems with the world, but making fun of them makes you ease up and stop killing yourself on the inside.
In fact, you will see them as usual and something temporal that you can go through and overcome.
When things get tough, we are constantly told, get tougher, but we should be careful not to do this at the expense of our health.
Don’t play strong when you are dying on the inside. Talk and laugh at life challenges.
6. Practice Positive Affirmation
Positive affirmations are positive phrases that you can repeat over your life.
They help you counter the negative thinking pattern you have always had and believed about you. An example of a positive affirmation could be, “I’m getting better and better every day.”, “I’m making it.”
If you are having issues with your self-esteem, you could tell yourself, “I’m a problem solver,” “I’m beautiful.”, “I adapt quickly to change.”
Repeating these positive phrases in your life help to change the negative thinking pattern you have had before.
“Can’t work,” “Not possible,” “won’t,” “just surviving.” Use less of such words in your daily talk.
And if possible, avoid them at all costs when describing or referring to yourself.
Opportunities come dressed in overalls. When you cling to negative words such as “I can’t handle it better than Mr. X,” or “it’s not my thing,” talk about what you can do best.
If you stick to positive words long enough, your mind will start changing towards a positive outlook on life, and you will see life isn’t as bad as you thought it was.
12. Track your Thoughts
We are good at watching other things but our thoughts. That’s how negative thinking finds a way into our brain, develops into a pattern, and becomes second nature to us.
Learn to keep track of your thoughts. Treat negative thoughts as passing clouds and let the positive ones settle in.
Some thoughts will make you angry, bitter, or unhappy with yourself.
Yes, those are the negative thoughts you should track and identify whether it is a pattern that you can drop altogether instead of allowing them to take root.
13. You Could Use a Little Help from an Inspirational Book
Are you a reader? If yes, you could use your reading habit to be a positive thinker by reading the inspirational books around you.
Reading about someone succeeding or going through a similar problem and overcoming it will motivate you.
You will be optimistic and open your mind again to endless possibilities to overcome your hurdles.
14. Be Happy Where you Are
I get it. The pay isn’t good. Your relationship is turning out differently than you thought it was. You wish to live in a better place than you are now.
Holding these kinds of thoughts only makes you miserable and negative.
Is there another side of the coin?
As Dr. Joe Vitale, “The fastest way to get where you want is to be happy with where you are.”
Life is a journey, and the difference between where you are and where you want to be is time. What you are doing with your time is what makes the difference.
15. Analyze a problem for what it is and find the best solution to it
Okay, you are heading to a destination North, and you just realized you don’t have enough bus fare. That’s a problem.
Should you sit down and start counting the other problems you face and how they are making you miserable, or should you find a workable solution to the current situation?
The fare to Destination North = X
Cash available = Y
Cash needed = X-Y
How to raise (X-Y)
Check your emergency fund
Borrow a loan
Ask a friend
Postpone the journey
You just analyzed a problem and found solutions to solving it. Could you use the same approach to solving other challenges in life instead of crying at your problems?
16. Let go of the Past
The past is at the last second. Whether you were bombarded with success or failure, it just remains the past.
Don’t bask too long in the glory of the yesteryears. Neither should you tarry longer than is healthy for you in your past failures.
To move forward as fast, you need to make peace with your past.
You cannot change what happened in the past, but you can change your present for a better tomorrow.
Dwelling on the past makes you negative, killing your optimism in life.
17. Count your Blessings
It’s easier said than done. But start counting, and you will get shocked.
In your pursuit of success and a better life, you have taken the things you worked hard to gain for granted.
The smartphone in your hand just allowed you to read this blog post from the comfort of wherever. Ooh, no, you are in the toilet? Hahaha.
But you get the drift, right?
That time you feel you are losing it; when your life gets you between a rock and a hard place; when progress seems slow, count your blessings.
You will find yourself more optimistic about handling the present challenges better.
I have a list of unconventional wisdom nuggets to share with you before we wrap up 2021.
I’m not mean. Whatever I learn, you learn and we move forward together, don’t we?
We are just counting a few hours into the new year. I thought it wise to write this post before we cross over. Isn’t that the next big thing? ama ni pekee yangu nangoja kuvuka mwaka?
People always have their own reasons that make them loathe the month of January. From where I live, it’s the month that the sun is always hotter than ever with a dusty wind blowing you right, left and center.
It makes your lips appear dry and cracked. Ooh, January! 😂🤣
Never mind that you made your deep pockets shallow during the festive season. All on what? Eating and making merry? By the way, Christmas is the only time people meet with their larger families, so it’s worth spending an extra coin, right?
13 Unconventional Wisdom Nuggets
I have lived long enough to know when someone is making me look stupid or would want to take advantage of me.
Some bad events in my life have occurred not once but twice because of my sheer lack of keenness about lessons I should be learning in life.
And so while traveling from one town to the next, I put together this list I call unconventional wisdom nuggets to break down life for what it really is.
Be wise about life and thank me later. On the flip side, play with fire and get burned.
1. Don’t Do Business with Relatives
I have been a keen reader of life enough to know that business with relatives is never the best of arrows to use in your quiver. This is unconventional wisdom you won’t read in books or magazines.
If things go south in the business, you will have yourself to blame. You will be the loser and there is little you can do to seek redress.
Where in the world will you take your uncle or cousin? to the police? C’mon, you know where this ends.
I didn’t say they shouldn’t be your customers. They can buy from you as much as they want but don’t make them your business partners.
The case of Tuskys Supermarket’s downfall in Kenya arose due to siblings’ rivalry and greed. It was a family business. Though not directly related to what I’m trying to say, to some extent it rings a bell.
Relatives will take advantage of your blood relationship to manipulate you, steal from you, or simply tarnish your reputation.
Relatives should remain relatives unless it’s an immediate family-owned business with well-learned people.
2 Lend Money you are willing to Lose
The person who comes to you to borrow money is never the same when you call them to ask for your money back.
Most people when borrowing money are always humble, respectful and honest looking until they get hold of your cash.
While this is not always the case with all the people who borrow money from you, a lot that happens is bad news.
All hell breaks loose when they don’t honor their promise and you have to keep calling them to ask for your money back.
Some will be outright rude or feign sickness that they have never suffered from before.
To keep your piece, lend money you are willing to lose or choose to be called stingy. Haha. Apply some unconventional wisdom in your money dealings.
3. You Can Give Money to Strangers but Lend
People can be sly. And mark me right, I’m not being pessimistic or negative. I have a first-hand experience of some of the things I’m writing about.
I met a lady online doing Network marketing. She befriended me asking me to join her network marketing team but I politely declined.
However, she was very persuasive and kept posting images of Mpesa transactions showing her team members making a kill.
Still, she didn’t woo me in. All I asked her was to train and mentor me to be a good network marketer so I could get the skills and use them for my own gain.
She agreed to my request and said there was nothing for free and so I will have to pay her $15/kes1500 for the training.
We agreed that I shall be paying the amounts in bits. We had known each other for less than 3 months when one Friday, she asked me for kes300 to be returned on Monday.
I send her the money because it’s the money I could easily spend on lunch. That was the last time I heard from her.
Any person you have known for less than a year is a stranger. Unconventional wisdom demands that you don’t commit to them any valuable resources you have.
The trick with them is always to stay closer to you as possible, know your vulnerabilities/weaknesses and pap!
They strike when the iron is hot.
4. People Watch your Actions, not your Words.
A lot many times we are always easy with words. And beware of people who talk too much. Even the Bible warns against too many words for in them sin is not absent.
Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut
Proverbs 10:19 (NLV)
Almost always, people have leeway with words. If you get caught in a compromising situation all you have to do is to use your mouth to absolve yourself from blame. Aren’t lawyers making money with law interpretation and words?
However, we easily forget that people will hear your words but also watch what you do after. Be the person who keeps promises no matter how small.
You want to be the person whose yes will be a yes and no a no. The common Swahili saying goes “Tenda mema nenda zako”
Kenyan politicians have a way with words but a large zero on their report cards. A typical Kenyan politician could easily sing his way to parliament, get there and pass no tangible laws or mismanage CDF funds.
He later comes back to his constituents in the next election with a bag of empty promises and sings his way back to parliament again.
Unconventional wisdom dictates that you be a man of your words by honoring them through the right actions.
5. Bosses are the Most Unliked People 🙄
Sorry for being brutal with the truth here, but people seldom love their bosses. Most people sulk, whine, and loathe their bosses/managers for myriad reasons.
Sometimes the juniors complaining are right but some other times they are wrong as well. Your boss could be the insecure type who isn’t happy to see you outshining them. This is because to them that means you are about to take their position.
According to the 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene, it’s never a wise move to outshine your leader or boss.
However, sometimes people outshine their bosses even when they are not trying to. And that alone is enough reason for tension and friction in the workplace.
On the same knot, some bosses have character issues or are either poor at communication and this really creates a lot of friction with their juniors.
Nevertheless, not all bosses can be branded as bad. Some are really good mentors and can groom you to heights unimaginable.
If you can’t tolerate your boss, find another one or start working for yourself and quit your current job. It’s easier said than done, right?
Unconventional wisdom denotes that working for yourself is the surest way to grow rich.
Where there is a will there is a way
6. Motivational Gospel vs. Doctrinal Gospel. Be Grounded on Absolute Truth
Well, I began by saying I have some unconventional wisdom to share with you as we wrap up 2020. Some of my wording is going to be a little bit radical.
You are free to share your reservations in the comments section below.
I’m a believer and ascribe to the fundamentals of the Christian faith that Jesus was born of a virgin Mary, died, resurrected, ascended high above the heavens and is seated at the right hand of the father.
He is our great advocate and intercessor before the father. As believers, we are in him justified he is us glorified.
However, I have been in the church long enough to hear lots of sermons from different preachers and pastors of the word. I can only come to one conclusion: Much of what is touted as the gospel isn’t doctrinal but more of motivational/prosperity speeches with little grounding on doctrine.
The sad part is that people or rather churchgoers have been so accustomed to the prosperity gospel that when you introduce the gospel about who you can be in Jesus and how you can build a strong relationship with him, you look like a liar.
You become boring to their itching ears.
It’s true that believers are inheritors/partakers of the Abrahamic blessings. You will also agree with me that believers have been asked to seek God’s kingdom and his righteousness and all things shall be added unto them.
But our focus shouldn’t be on the blessings, it should be on God and his kingdom and other things will be added.
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
Matthew 6:33 (NLV)
Let me Preach 🙂
Unfortunately, believers today practice the above verse and vice versa. They seek things first then God later. By seeking things first, they pray less, attend fellowships less, study God’s word fewer times, and everything less.
And this situation most likely stems from insufficient to zero grounding on doctrine because of wrong teachings of the word or none at all.
For example, do believers give because they are blessed or they will be blessed? Everything Jesus has done for the believer is in the past tense. Any gospel talking about Jesus will do is another gospel.
For the non-believers, Jesus will do, because they are not yet in him but for the believers, he has done it all. But wait, Jesus did it and finished it all even for the non-believers.
He will not come from heaven again and be crucified to save those who don’t believe. All they have to do is believe in the finished work of the cross, repent and seek to grow spiritually.
I will not teach but I would encourage you to start listening to preachers of grace such as Joseph Prince, Abel Damina, and Andrew Wommack.
7. Build True and Genuine Friendships with People
I know of people on my phonebook who will only call because they are in distress or need a favor.
Once they get what they want they vanish only to remember you when they are in trouble again.
Those are not friends. I refer to them as parasites because they only show up to ravage your resources. They are like the devil who only shows up to rob, kill and destroy.
To amount to something in this world, you need people. You can’t keep behaving in a way that makes them second guess you and expect their support.
If employed, never make the mistake of believing all your office colleagues are your friends. When you lose your job, a few will keep in touch or even remember to say Hi.
That’s when you will know who your true friends are. Sorry but true friendship is about to give and take. You have to sacrifice your time, money, skills and energy to keep your friendship blossoming.
8. Guardian Angels in Life are Real. There is One for You
Unconventional wisdom denotes that their people in your life who will always vouch for you even when you suck sometimes.
I’m a freelance writer on the sidelines. While looking for work online, I happened to bump into my guardian angel.
We met in one of the Facebook freelancer groups. We were all looking for freelance writing work. He happened to get one sooner and even asked me to lend him a hand.
He loved my work from the word go. Since then, he has always been referring me to potential clients over and over. Even when I seem to do a poor job sometimes, he still believes in my skills and ability to deliver.
We always share our joys and successes and keep encouraging each other in the freelance journey. I believe everyone has this kind of person in life. Someone who is always rooting and vouching for you.
Methinks this kind of situation arises when you have proven your worth and are reliable in your craft or skill.
9. How Good are your Negotiation Skills? Believe me When I say you Can Negotiate through anything in Life
I recently got married. I’m from the Abaluhya tribe in Western Kenya. According to our customs, a young man intending to get married has to pay a bride price of 13 heads of cattle. And 2 goats to accompany the cattle.
So before a young man cements the marriage relationship with her wife to be, it’s a must he pays dowry. What precedes dowry payment is dowry negotiation.
In my case, I had very good negotiators who gave me a breather during the dowry period. Phew!
The message I’m trying to drive home is that you can negotiate through anything in life. Be it a job interview, a business deal, a contract and you name it.
You may not be the best candidate for the job but the panel may ask you “Why do you think we should give you this job?”
Negotiate!
My Upwork Story
I’m a freelancer on Upwork and at one point my account got suspended indefinitely. UUUUiii. My account was dormant for so long because I kept bidding for jobs in vain.
I had also followed some bad advice from an acquaintance that got me suspended from the platform.
I was suspended from working on the freelancing platform. It was on the 24th of April 2018. One of the darkest days of my life.
Notification of my suspension from Upwork
Well, I was so disappointed, to say the least. I started telling myself I’m not cut out for writing. I took a break and forgot about writing on Upwork for a while.
But something changed in me after getting inspired by Walter Akolo’s weekly emails in my mailbox.
I chose to appeal their decision and Alas! These guys accepted me back. Couldn’t believe it. I was shocked I could be this good in making a case. See the screenshot below.
My appeal case to the Upwork marketplace
Check the date. hahaha, I had given up on Upwork for almost two years. Oooh, man. Giving up is easier done than said.
See their response below
My Upwork Account reactivation
One of the happiest days in my life this year was on the 31st of January this year. My Upwork account was reinstated.
Currently, I have an ongoing contract on the platform.
My current contract on Upwork
You can negotiate through anything in life. You can go to the American embassy in your country and negotiate why they need you in their country. ooh yes!
10. Siblings should Learn Teamwork Early before Adulthood
My dose of unconventional wisdom is still here.
Siblings! please! Learn teamwork when you are still young and leaving in your parent’s house. It becomes difficult to do anything meaningful as a team when you haven’t built this culture during childhood.
With age comes more responsibilities. Once you get a job or start a solid business, as a young adult, you are expected to move out of your parent’s home and start paying house rent and other bills.
Sooner you get married and you gonna start changing diapers. With your own family responsibilities, it’s increasingly hard to merge your resources with your siblings to run a project at your home place.
In most cases this happens, if you had never built the culture of doing things together as siblings.
As adults, one sibling is always trying to win the support of the rest in vain. It’s only through calamities or catastrophic events that you find such siblings pooling their resources together.
It isn’t the perfect scenario if you ask me. Build teamwork early in your family.
11. Borrow Money and Invest
The statement – Poor people save rich people, invest sounds like an insult to the efforts of the poor to become rich. But it’s another brutal truth you can’t ignore.
The poor and middle class save most of their hard-earned cash in banks, SACCOs and microfinance institutions. The rich and wealthy or rather those with a wealth mentality go borrow this money and invest.
Ten years down the line, the investors are richer, the savers are not even an eighth of their financial goals.
I would say this, don’t just save because of the 50/30/20% rule. Save with a goal for a certain period of time and go invest that money.
It’s better you buy a flock of sheep that give birth every 9 months than put your money in a bank that gives you less than 9% interest per annum on your annual savings.
Bonds and shares are other better investment opportunities you could explore.
Also, think of ways you can multiply your income streams to manage your current lifestyle. With more income streams, you will have more to save and invest.
Don’t be afraid of borrowing huge loans via your payslip to invest. That’s what the rich are doing and moving forward.
Economics teaches you to manage scarcity or what is there. So, for how long are you going to manage your salary? Unconventional Wisdom can teach you better.
Kes10,000/= in 1999 could buy a lot more than the same amount of money in 2020. I bet you are wise enough to see that. So why not invest?
12. Learn Early What Works for You so You Can Save Much Time and Energy
In life, there is always a stage of exploration and discovery before one settles down with a cutout path in life.
This reminds me of the common saying that life begins at 40. But sometimes we tend to waste much time with things that aren’t cut out for us.
The world, I believe would be a better place, if people knew well enough their purpose and calling. But what is the situation now? We are being defined by our education system and not who we are deep on the inside.
Someone went to school and studied Computer Science but their passion is not even in Computers but Agriculture. But society will want to pin you down by your degree and not your personal interests and passions.
In the journey of life, their things you try over time and they come to work out really well. On the contrary, some flop terribly.
Watch yourself, and know your strengths, skills, abilities and most importantly your passion so that you can leverage them into your destiny.
13. We have Many Success Stories but Few Tangible Mentors
In the West, when a simple, down-to-earth individual becomes a billionaire, you hear later they published a book or a memoir about their journey.
Of course, not all millionaires or billionaires in the West do become authors. In my country, success stories are all over, but you can count real tangible mentors who can walk with you through the murky waters of success in life.
That tells you something, the individuals behind the success stories are shady. I don’t mean to say all successful people should publish books. I don’t hate the rich and not all wealthy people are shady but you need to look at the top billionaires in Africa and make your case.
But the least they can do is to mentor young people to be the giants they can be. My hat off to the Zimbabwean tech and media billionaire Strive Masiyiwa.
Strive has been using the Facebook platform to mentor young people into entrepreneurship and self-employment.
A challenge for you: Become your own success story and mentor someone else into your path.
Conclusion
I hope you found it intriguing and interesting. There is more I could write but I feel 3000 words about unconventional wisdom are enough for today. I leave to read and be the judge. If you want to join this discussion, feel free to leave a comment below. Wishing you a prosperous 2022.
Really? Do good things come to those who wait, or is it just one of the many statements with white lies we know of?
The other question is, wait for what things from where? BBI team? Jubilee or Uncle Sam?
The Waiting Wilderness
The world today makes you want good things thick and fast. So how in the world are you going to wait for good things to come your way?
Someone the other day was wondering why I haven’t bought a car yet. It
In fact, I’m tempted to believe that today’s social norm is not about being rich but about looking rich. It’s about the perception you are rich.
So, all a young man needs to do is buy a fancy car? Some fancy clothing and build some mansion in the village or a suburban plot of land somewhere and bam! You are damn rich men! Even with no money in your bank account or valuable assets.
Yet society will perceive someone walking in faded blue denim jeans and a Jubilee Tuko Pamoja T-shirt as poor. 😂😂
The irony is this guy could be yule msee when you are cash-strapped, and all your friends and enemies have turned their backs on you. Ye ana mali but hucheza chini, you get?
Yeah, the aforementioned scenario accurately reflects the happenings in society today. Instant gratification, over-expectations, and flamboyancy dot the material world of vanity.
You are entitled to your opinion, but the wisest man to have lived saw all these, and he wrote in his book of Proverbs 13:7 (NIV):
One person pretends to be rich, yet has nothing; another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth.
A young man from University wants to be paid Kes 60,000/ USD600 on their first job. Bro! I like your ambition, but people begin from the bottom and rise the ladder.
Sit and Wait or Act and Wait?
The statement “good things come to those who wait” shouldn’t be understood to sit, do nothing, and wish for some miracle to happen.
While waiting, you invest in yourself and build good habits that will make you a better version of yourself.
What are your dreams? or what is your purpose? Who do you want to become?
Are you serious about your dreams and what the future holds for you? Then you should learn to wait. Fast or quick isn’t always right. Well, it could also be right but not the best for you.
Waiting doesn’t mean drowning in alcohol and indulging in sensational sex to feel you belong.
It’s all about taking responsibility for your life and making every decision you make the count.
How to Wait for the Good Things
Photo by James Wheeler
1. Get Busy and Productive
I will use a common saying here again – An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.
You have 24 hours in a day. You can choose to get engaged and productive or idle and destructive.
I have seen young people getting busy and avoiding activities that would destroy them. Similarly, I see young people who keep destroying themselves.
Jack, a young man I know, is a great footballer. Daily except for Sunday, he is always on the football pitch training for the next tournament. Rarely do you find him sleeping in bed idle?
In three words, he is fit, disciplined and focused.
He knows he can be a great footballer, so he invests time in fine-tuning his gaming skills.
Mary and Ian
Mary is in the Praise and Worship team in their church. Often, when you look for her or ring her, she will tell you she is singing or praying at church.
How about Ian? He is always in his father’s business stall, helping him run the family business. He has little time for reckless and irresponsible living.
Ian is learning to be a businessman, doesn’t he?
A Stark Contrast
On the other hand, Allan is the exact opposite of the two above. He eats large chunks of food, but he is very idle. And have you noticed how idle people get hungry very fast? —-
Allan can spend the whole day binge-watching movies on a laptop or the TV set and chatting with ladies on the phone.
Mark you, we live in a time and age where you can read Personal Development books on your Smartphone or study a free course online.
Farming today is no longer a reserve of the old in society. Young people can embrace it, and Allan is no exception.
Because of his untapped strength and idleness, Allan occasionally fornicates with young girls in the neighbourhood. Ignoring the fact that he could contract STDs, get impotent or killed with Viagra or sire a baby he isn’t ready to take care of.
He also secretly goes to house parties, smokes weed, and drinks alcohol. Ooh, poor boy! Bad habits die really hard.
And I don’t hate men; ladies have their fair share too. Laura has been caught severally by her parents sneaking. She does this in the wee hours of the night.
And for what reason? To drink and sleep with her boyfriend, old enough to be her father. Pathetic!
2. Keep Good Company
Guys! The truth is simple and plain or plain and simple? Ni kizungu ilikuja na meli but you get my point, don’t you?
Have you noted that if someone is trying to explain something simple to you in so many words, he is lying or not sure what he is saying?
I come to tell you, “Bad company corrupts good morals.”
In the waiting period, learn to keep good company. Learn to walk with people you admire and aspire to be.
Even amongst your peers, some are better than you in life skills. You can learn something from them, right?
Good things come to those who wait by keeping good company.
3. Pray Without Ceasing
A prayer is a form of communication.
But in this case, you are not communicating to your friend but a higher power or deity – God.
I know young people who pray. But a majority don’t. How I wish they could learn the secrets of prayer early in life and build this habit all the way.
Prayer invokes the power of God over natural situations in your life. It generates tremendous power to cause seismic shifts in your destiny and moulds you into the person your maker wants you to become.
Prayer aligns you with the vision and purpose of God over your life.
In your waiting time, don’t sit idle. Join prayer caravans and seek God with all your heart. Walk with the prayer warriors and see your life get transformed.
And for the record, you don’t have to be in church to pray. Are you travelling? Pray. Seated somewhere? Pray. Walking in a park? Pray. If you can communicate when driving, it means you can pray when driving.
Wrap Up
I feel I haven’t written enough of this post. But I hope you understand it the way I’m trying to. Good things come to those who wait, and you better learn to wait.
Life is a journey, and you must enjoy your time in the waiting wilderness. Because you will remember those days when you get over with them.
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Do you want to improve your life, or do you ever think about improving your life? If so, that’s a good thing. It means you are development-conscious, and want a better version of your current life.
On the contrary, the process of improving your life is not as easy as you may think. It is as hard as coming out of your comfort zone. Like a child learning to walk, it’s about breaking out of the current you into the future.
Improving your life means investing in yourself so you can be better at something. In the marketplace, being a jack of all trades never sells. Therefore, for you to stand out, you need to offer more value than ordinary folk.
I’m sorry if you expected me to talk about money. Young adults, you will have to bear with me here. Money should be a means to an end. And that’s why billionaires keep making it when you think they have made it already.
So. let me cut to the chase. Here are four ways you can improve your life.
How to Improve Your Life
1. Enroll in an Online Course
Photo by Karolina Grabowska
The world is a global village thanks to the digital space we currently live in. You could easily get a certificate or diploma from MIT with a smartphone and internet bundles from your telecommunication provider.
Take advantage of the free online courses on the internet today to have a vantage point in the marketplace. An online course helps spruce up your work skills, whether at your workplace or in your business.
Young people through college shouldn’t waste their precious time editing their social media profiles repeatedly.
Coursera is a common online course platform where you could study lots of courses, whether free or paid, and earn yourself a certificate. For the record, the Ministry of ICT Kenya is in partnership with Coursera to provide workplace skills for the Kenyan youth.
You can download the Coursera app on your phone and keep going.
Improve your life by studying some more so you can earn yourself a fortune.
2. Learn a New Language
Photo by SHVETS production
A new language can open you to other frontiers in life, whether local or international. Which language are you interested in? Is it French, Swedish, Chinese, or your country’s local language? Start learning it right now.
Like studying an online course, learning a new language makes you valuable in the marketplace. Multinational companies would be happy to hire bilingual employees.
Learning a new language will open your venture to more marketplaces if you are an entrepreneur or doing business.
A translator who knows has the added value of working with people from different walks of life.
To get moving, quickly download the Duolingo app on your smartphone or desktop and start learning. It’s never too late. They teach you a new language at both basic and intermediate levels.
3. Practice Mindfulness
A lot is happening in the world today. You are lucky to be alive if you are reading this. The world economy is now grappling with a pandemic. We have lost lives. People have lost jobs. We have lost businesses, and some are struggling to maintain valuable relationships.
Against such a catastrophic backdrop, it helps to maintain your mental health. One simple way to practice mindfulness is by meditating.
Early in the mornings or late in the evenings, set aside time to meditate and have a serene time with your thoughts. Don’t make it harder, so you give up faster.
Meditation could be as short as three minutes or as long as 20 minutes. May you have been thinking about a way you can have more mental clarity or focus. Or maybe you want some relaxation after running up and down the entire day and to ease some tension? Meditation is what you need.
Start off by downloading the Headspace app on your phone and get shit done. By practicing mindfulness, you let go of the tension and the worries; you become more productive, improving your life.
4. Interact with Better People than You
Photo by Bruno Bueno
If you are ever the best in your circle, you better start thinking of finding a new outfit. It’s only by challenging ourselves that we can improve our lives.
The common adage goes that birds of the same feather flock together. You are wise if you surround yourself with people who you want to become like.
“I have no successful people around me?” You may ask. Though important, you don’t have to interact with successful people physically to feel you are doing something worth your time.
You could interact with their ideas online. Read their books, listen to their podcasts, and watch their shows. It’s that simple.
What do you want or what is it you are looking for? A successful marriage, wealth, to be an accomplished entrepreneur. You name it! Society is never in lack of trailblazers and icons in your line of interest.
Wrap Up
There is nothing I have recommended to you on this post that I’m not doing myself. Young people, especially if single with some money in their pockets, have a lot of free time they could use to improve their lives
We all have 24 hours in a day. You could kill it with loose women and men or binge-watching on Netflix, but it’s your life anyway, right? Nevertheless, if you want to improve your life, try these four tips, and let’s talk later.
The digital space has made many online resources available at our disposal than we could ever imagine. You are just an app away from improving your life. Whatever journey you are on in your life, there is always something you can do to make it better.
In a world where suicides resulting from stress and depression are rising, what price would you pay to keep a positive attitude?
Maybe there isn’t. But to some extent, a long and positive life doesn’t come on a silver platter. There is a way you could go about things in your life to make you stay positive.
According to the World Health Organization, depression is a common mental disorder. It affects over 264 million people of all ages across the world. It’s also a major contributor to the global disease burden.
However, you shouldn’t confuse it with typical mood fluctuations and mild stress levels arising from everyday challenges.
WHO also reports that 800,000 people commit suicide every year. Suicide is the second leading cause of death worldwide among 15-29-year-olds.
Your mental health is key to your survival. Your thoughts are the source of your life. Learn to master them, and you have solved 80% of the problems in your life. Your heart is the wellspring of life. Here, we give you simple but kick-ass tips to keep you positive and live longer.
How to Keep a Positive Attitude in the Face of Adversity
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto
1. Keep a Positive Attitude through Hope
According to the Merriam-Webster, Dictionary, hope as a doing word is to cherish a desire with anticipation. As a noun from the same source, hope is desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.
The opposite of hope is despair. You may despair because you feel life has no meaning anymore. Still, you could lose hope because of trouble in your life that made you suffer.
On the same note, you could lose hope because of a series of empty promises from friends and enemies.
But I’m here to tell you to keep the hope. Keep it because it will protect you when people may want to take advantage of your desperate situation.
You need to keep the hope because it will help you envision something beautiful out of life. According to the American Psychology Association, children who grew up in poverty and ended up being successful had one thing in common: Hope
2. Handle Criticism in a Healthier Way
Criticism is the act of finding fault in someone or something. In most cases, criticism is never about the receiver but the person speaking it. How many times in your life have you shied away from what you want to do in life because of the fear of criticism?
Often, fear of criticism leads to impassivity, sucking the joy and life out of you. Nevertheless, you shouldn’t fear criticism, but you would rather handle it more healthily by embracing a positive attitude towards it.
Often, fear of criticism leads to impassivity, sucking the joy and life out of you. Nevertheless, you shouldn’t fear criticism, but you would rather handle it in a healthier way.
Diving deep and further, you can learn to handle criticism healthier rather than running away from it.
For instance, some comments can be a criticism if we take them to heart or make them personal. On the contrary, you can make the situation less tense by laughing the comments off.
At best, it is good not to reply but let go. But if you must reply, you may want to start with a question to hear the criticism once more. To add on, you could turn the criticism into a positive situation for you or make it a light moment.
3. Turn the Negatives thrown at you into Positives
To keep a positive attitude even when feeling negative, you need to take control of your mind. Be strong mentally. Just as negativity is all around us, positivity is also there. The key takeaway here is to have a flexible mind.
If a situation turns out to be negative and less than what you expected, remain collected, sober, and figure out what you should do next. It’s easier to figure out Plan B when you are still collected.
It also helps to have positive comments for negative remarks thrown at you. Of course, you are not a computer with a line of thought for every word people feed into your ears. But having a word that turns out to be a negative remark for your good makes you feel much better.
Turning the negatives into positives also means pushing the negative thoughts out of your mind. Yes, they can pass by but don’t allow them to settle.
4. Avoid Self-Condemning Thoughts
Photo by Nathan Cowley
Taking responsibility for your silly decisions or mistakes in life is good, but it’s never healthy to blame yourself. Tell me of one person who doesn’t make mistakes, and I will show you a ghost.
You must come to terms with the fact that every day in your life is an opportunity for you to rebuild your self-image. Whether you sucked or embarrassed yourself the day before, having the courage to pick yourself up and get moving is what makes the difference.
So, learn to keep a positive attitude by filling your mind with good thoughts about yourself.
For instance, if you are a believer and study the Christian Bible, then you must know Christ died for you on the cross while you were still a sinner.
Christ forgave you and imputed God’s righteousness on you. If you catch yourself sinning or falling into sin, always tell yourself you are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, and eventually, you will be. Isn’t it written the righteous will live by faith?
Self-condemning thoughts hardly add any value to you but take out all the positivity in you, leaving you deflated. Think well about yourself.
5. Find Positivity Within you
My script about keeping a positive attitude may not help you if you don’t discover the positivity you carry within.
Further, we are born positive until we allow negative life experiences to shape our mentalities. If you carry positivity within you, negative situations or experiences will not linger on you for long because you will have to find another like environment to go to.
By nature, you are positive. But most people refuse to hold on to this reality and listen to what the world will tell them they are.
Put another way, you are God’s creation, fearfully and wonderfully made. Whether people categorize you as beautiful or ugly, it won’t negate the fact that God created you wonderfully. Find solace in the positivity within you.
6. Tell Yourself it Could be Worse
You could be the most pious person or a fugitive, but none of your statuses could make you immune to daily life challenges. Accidents occur in our lives from time to time. But somehow, you always find yourself alive again to tell your story.
The main issue is that we don’t have insurance for negative life events.
Anytime you find yourself in a situation that is so hard to bear, keep a positive attitude by always telling yourself you are lucky because it could have been worse.
To the best of my knowledge, the worst that could happen in your life is when you lose your life. Anything else that doesn’t kill strengthens you.
7. Find your Purpose in Life
The purpose is the reason why something exists. What’s the reason for your existence? The key to keeping a positive attitude is discovering why you exist.
Besides anything else, discovering your purpose in life is the greatest thing you’ll ever find. The world is full of successful people who are devoid of purpose. Despite the affluence and the mega lifestyle they live, they always find themselves unfulfilled and feeling empty.
Yes, money will make life easier for you, but it won’t fulfil you because you will keep looking for it even after you have made your billions. Come to think of it, materialism and fame also fall in the same category as money.
Your true purpose in life is not inward-facing. It’s outward. You are in the world for a reason; finding that reason is the best fulfilment.
What do people say about you? Or what do you find easier doing? Getting answers to these questions could kick-start your journey to discovering your purpose.
Summing Up
To keep a positive attitude is a matter of choice. You have the power to do it. Keeping a positive attitude is not all about smiling and looking good. It’s something deeper that comes from within you.
Make the choice today to observe the positive heart-warming list and see yourself live a life of a positive attitude.
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