Category: Life changing

  • Five Ways to Present Like a Professional

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    Oh, God. You’ve been asked to do a presentation, and you can’t really say no (although that’s what you’re screaming in your head, isn’t it?) because your boss has already moved onto the next point on the agenda.

    Fear of public speaking is incredibly common. In fact, experts estimate around 75% of all people get anxious when they’re asked to speak in front of others. Some particularly melodramatic studies have found that most people fear to speak in public more than they fear death. So, you’re not alone.

    The problem is, avoiding that presentation could have some pretty disastrous effects on your life, career goals and other areas. You might stop being overlooked for that promotion if only you could get past the anxiety that’s stopping you from presenting like the professional we all know you are.

    The best way to get over crippling fear, in my experience, is a little preparation.
    Here’s some advice that might help next time you’re given the unenviable task of commanding your colleagues’ attention at your departmental pow-wow.

    Developing the ‘X Factor’

    All the world’s a stage – but how much presence you do have on it?

    Stage presence is essentially your ability to get and keep your audience’s attention. Energy and charisma play a part, but you don’t have to loudly bounce around the stage in order to develop a presence. In fact, someone quiet and intense can be just as engaging.

    It’s all about keeping an eye on your energy level. You’ll need to add a pinch more of the key ingredients – animation, enthusiasm and volume. It makes sense to warm up your voice and body before you start – so you can use them at a slightly higher level than you’re used to without getting tired.

    Project your voice instead of shouting, and crank up your body language and animated movements (without becoming a cartoon). And, difficult though it seems, appearing relaxed and comfortable can make a world of difference. Breathe deeply and slowly, and smile.

    Smiling is so important.

    It’s All About Connections

    Why is smiling important? It builds rapport, the relationship between you and your audience. A good rapport is vital for a successful presentation.

    A few easy ways to build rapport before you’ve even started your presentation:
    Do some groundwork. Social media is a fantastic way to interact with the people you’re going to present to – you can even ask them what they’d like to get out of your session so you can plan accordingly.

    If you can, get into the room before your audience so you can greet them as they come in. If that proves to be a problem, and your audience is already waiting for you, show you’re pleased to be there by greeting them warmly. If it’s a small group, try to shake hands with everybody.

    Humour is a good way to develop a relationship with your audience, but make sure it’s appropriate. Safe things to play with include the room, the weather or a current news story – it’s probably not the place to try out that cutting-edge stand-up routing you’ve been working on.

    Eye contact is really important, too. You need to make sure you’re making it, regularly, with everyone in the room. Don’t focus on the most senior person, or your best friend – share the love. If you’re speaking to a big audience, you won’t be able to make direct eye contact with everyone; so just let your eyes sweep across the audience regularly. The fools won’t be able to tell the difference.

    Finally, I can’t stress the importance of smiling when it comes to presenting. Everybody responds warmly to a smile, so if you want to get your audience onside quickly, flash those pearly whites. (Or smoky yellows. No judgment.)

    Get a Feel

    Reading a room is all about developing an awareness of the conditions of the room as well as the audience’s responsiveness and general mood.

    When you lead a presentation, you’re in a position of power that allows you to take control of the room and get problems fixed. What’s the temperature like in there? If it’s too chilly, your audience’s mood might harden. If it’s too warm, you could find yourself talking to a room of nodding heads (the wrong, sleepy kind of nodding.) Keep an eye out for jackets being removed or people fanning themselves. Don’t be afraid to check in with the audience on whether they’re too cold or warm, it’s a great way to build rapport. Just don’t expect a consistent answer.

    It goes beyond temperature, though. Lighting can also have a drastic effect on people’s attention. Flooding a room with light can help to wake people up, darkening it might help people see your slides better, at the cost of sending a few to sleep.

    Pay attention to what time of day you’ll be presenting. The graveyard slot, after lunch, is where most people slump. Last thing in the afternoon is tricky too since people tend to switch off. First thing in the morning can be really tricky if you’re presenting to a room of zombies who haven’t quite processed their coffee yet. You can’t always present at the sweet spot, but knowing in advance that you’ll have an unfocused audience might help you prepare.

    You have to be able to spot the moment when you’re losing people’s attention. If they start checking their emails or their eyes turn towards the window, you’ll need to do something to bring them back to you. You could ask a question (like your horrible geography teacher used to do), or run an exercise. Have some kind of interaction ready to refocus a drifting audience, and you’ll be fine.

    This seems like a lot, I know. But you can afford to relax a little on this – most people are pretty good at spotting the mood of a room and responding to it, so don’t worry – you’re pretty likely to be aware of all of this anyway, without working too hard on it. Like anything else though, the more you practice, the easier it becomes!

    Carpe Diem

    A lot of presenters are really worried about goofing up their lines, stumbling over their words or saying something wrong. In order to counteract that, many people will write a script in advance of their presentation and memorize it.

    This can help settle nerves, but it doesn’t always make a very good presentation. When you’re regurgitating a script, there’s a tendency for people to come across as a bit detached and distracted. You can spot it by the slightly sing-song tone as they recite the script in their head aloud.

    Put it this way – if you’re focused on remembering your lines, how can you be focused on the audience?

    The trick? Go into the presentation knowing what you want to say, but not the exact words you’re going to use. Your opening line or joke can be rehearsed or scripted, but don’t overdo it. You want to sound natural and off-the-cuff, but it takes years to learn to do that from a script – you’ll get instant results by building a skeleton of your points and then improvising around them.

    Study the Experts

    There’s no shame in finding out how corporate speakers do it and trying out some of their techniques until you find one that works for you. Some speakers demand attention by leaping around the stage, mustering enthusiasm from their audience with sheer energy. Others prefer to stay still and speak quietly, to force the audience to be attentive without distracting from the point of the presentation.

    It’s just a case of finding the style that works for you.

  • How to handle your School Going Kid During the COVID-19 Holiday

    How to handle your School Going Kid During the COVID-19 Holiday

    School-going kids are all over home right now in most countries worldwide. And most parents are feeling the heat and cold of having them around.

    The COVID-19 virus struck China in November 2019. Spread to Europe and the U.S, fast developing into a pandemic the world over.

    The pandemic has spared none of the anxiety of living in the new normal. Besides, school-going kids, businesses, places of worship, bars, and clubs all feel the restrictions under COVID-19.

    On the same note, your children are at home right now. And if they were in boarding schools, prepare to keep up with them longer. As their parent, you now have the time to nurture them and discover who they are.

    Lucky for you, most governments the world over have restricted movements. Your school-going kids idling around is one problem solved.

    Engage your School going Kid in Home Chores

    The current lockdowns and curfews make kids stay home longer. This must be one of the best times to teach your school-going kids different chores and roles in the home.

    Mending fences, fixing the pigsty, repairing broken furniture, milking. House and home chores are endless. There is a lot that your school-going kid could do during this pandemic.

    Many are the life skills that you could train your children to do and keep them engaged during this pandemic holiday.

    Given the freedom and spirit of adventure they now possess, our kids will no doubt find their way into impromptu, makeshift drinking orgies. In such cases, correction becomes a vocabulary as everyone turns out to be a reveller that wants to explore unknown things.

    Our kids, given the freedom and spirit of adventure they now possess, will no doubt find their way into such impromptu, makeshift drinking orgies. In such cases, correction becomes a vocabulary as everyone turns out to be a reveler that wants to explore new things.

    Also, incidences of immorality and our young girls getting unwanted pregnancies are likely to be palpable.

    So to speak, our children need to be engaged in constructive activities this holiday that will add more value to their lives.

    Similarly, one most valuable thing you can do to your boy or girl child student is to offer them tutorship or a private teacher who can teach them at home.

    Maybe you expected me to mention a sporting event or tour in Malindi or Fiji Islands with your school-going child.

    International flights have resumed in different parts of the world. But you want to be more cautious. The pandemic is not ended yet. Children experience fewer to no symptoms, though.

    Home Tutorship

    For this simple reason, you would rather chop off part of your festive budget as a parent.

    This guarantees your school-going child a thorough home-alone understanding of the subjects and coursework already covered in school.

    More so, the tutor will be resourceful in preparing your kid for the next coursework coverage when the unfamiliar school term begins.

    Though cash draining, putting aside that cash to hire a tutor for your school-going kid could just work magic for his or her performance when the next school term begins.

    Conclusion

    COVID-19 appears to be here for the long haul. Most governments have closed down institutions of higher learning.

    As a parent, you may have a rough time explaining to your school-going kid the fact that they will have to repeat another school year or term.

    But more importantly, parents must ensure they engage their kids in meaningful activities during the COVID-19 pandemic.

  • How to be a Good Public Speaker

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    Back in college, I remember how we used to freak out at the mere mention of a presentation. This is the time when excuses could be created from the heavens left, right and center about this and that. From having a sore throat to nursing a sick child, many would rather skive such occasions.

    Interestingly, some would prefer to stand on stage during a group presentation than going solo. You would suggest a presentation to him or her only to be met with dazed eyes like a bullock being led to the slaughter. Public speaking is the art of sharing your message with a large audience. Just like anything, it is an art that can be learned and mastered by anybody. So who is a good public speaker? Moreover, how can you become one?

    Personally, I have spoken before thousands of people, both old and young. Whether it was for five minutes or twenty, I must say the experience was great at the same time encouraging. You may also be wondering, “What is the point or essence of being a good public speaker?” Well, wait until you are called upon to give a speech or a vote of thanks at your brother’s graduation ceremony. Not many of us think about public speaking until when the rare moment splashes you out of your slumber. This is the time when, anxiety, fear and uneasiness sets in and chokes your voice and confidence reducing you to a paper tiger.

    To be a good public speaker does not call for any mathematics or rocket science but a deep interest and passion to be counted among the great public speakers of this world. Read on to learn more about successful tips that will make you a good public speaker.

    Tip #1: Speak With Your Natural Voice

    How do you speak during a normal conversation with your friend? What is the tone of your message or voice? Being a good public speaker demands that you speak with your true voice rather than put on a different voice on stage, which may actually serve to make you sound fake or trying too hard. It is advisable to use a conversational tone as this makes you sound more natural and the real you.

    Besides, the most important aspect of public speaking is to pass your message across. No point of dragging yourself to fit in the allotted time for public speaking let us say in one hour or so. In fact, research suggests that adults can only sustain attention for not more than 20 minutes. Therefore learn to be precise and to the point as much as possible. Use “aahhs“ for breaks or pauses to take breath. Conversely, avoid using ‘aahhs” too much as they will turn out to be too monotonous reducing the flair in your speech.

    Tip #2: Research

    You do not want to share information that you do not know with a large group of people. To be a good public speaker a thorough research on the subject to speak about is necessary. This is more important considering the fact that some people in your audience could be more intelligent or knowledgeable than you. After doing research on the given topic, it is also important that you put your speech down in point form.

    Our brains have a tendency to give us the false impression that we shall remember everything on stage but owe unto you. Expert speakers have a knack for doing it naturally without needing any notebook. However, a human is to err and you do not want to take any chances when you have been called upon to give a presentation or a simple speech to your target audience.

    Tip #3: Cope With Your Nerves

    A good public speaker has learned the art of taming his or her bad emotions. Occasionally, public speakers have to fight terrible feelings and thoughts before going to stage. This usually culminates into stage fright that makes anybody who wants to try to chicken out. One of the common feelings people experience before going to the stage is nervousness. Nervousness can be as bad as making you forget the key points you were to mention in your speech.

    Nevertheless, the most important point to note here is that you should stop focusing too much on yourself and focus on the crowd before you. Shift your mind from your own self to that person in the audience who is in dire need of the information you need to pass across. Alternatively, you could take a deep breath as this will help calm your nerves by slowing down your heart rate and put you in a better position to give your speech.

    Tip #4: Watch Your Body Language

    Our bodies are always communicating even before we utter any single word. As a good public speaker, you want to ensure that your body language is in harmony with the words that come out of your mouth. For example, talking to your audience while not maintaining eye contact could be a clear sign of nervousness.

    Your body could also portray a lack of self-confidence by not standing upright, crossing your arms or fidgeting. Still, nervousness could make you use inappropriate gestures that do not rhyme with your words.

    Become a good public speaker by mastering your body language. Make maximum use of space on the podium by moving around. Engage your audience with the use of natural gestures and try to maintain eye contact as much as possible. If maintaining eye contact is much of problem to you, overcome it by focusing your eyes on your audience heads or on their nose bridges.

    Tip #5: Care Not About the Mistakes You Will Make on Stage

    Who doesn’t want to do it like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.? Or Winston Churchill? Despite a good public speaker having a way with words, they are human and chances are that they have erred not once or twice in their public speaking career.

    You may have rehearsed severally and perfected on the speech to deliver just before going on stage, however, in the process of your speech delivery you just find out that you read the wrong name or skipped a paragraph.

    Interestingly, not even your audience will notice the minor mistakes except you. Apologizing or retracting could just make it worse for you simply because in the first place the audience may not have noticed you making the mistake. On the other hand, if they happen to notice your mistake, they will appreciate the fact that you are human and you can make mistakes too. As a good public speaker, the most advisable thing to do after making a mistake is to continue with your speech delivery.

    Tip #6: Make Your Speech Personal

    Telling a story at the beginning of your speech or simply relating a personal experience could create a profound response from your audience. This is because people will relate more to real life experiences such as an ordeal, triumph or a harrowing experience.

    Actually, people tend to pay more attention to real life stories than just listening to theoretical jargon. Besides, telling a story will make it easier for you to deliver your speech simply because no one else knows the story better than you do. This will serve to make you at ease thus enabling you to flow through your speech. Telling a story is one great art mastered by a good public speaker.

    Tip #7: Practice, Practice and Practice

    Practice works to build your confidence on stage. For example, you could practice public speaking by rehearsing while recording your voice. Later you can listen to yourself speak and be able to know your tone, pronunciations and adjust accordingly. Besides, practicing your speech will help you connect well with your target audience. Connecting with your audience means knowing them first. Are they experts or novices in the particular subject? If the experts, it means you need to put more energy into presenting or delivering something top-notch.

    Practice makes perfect. This means that public speaking will become part of you eventually flowing out of you naturally like the big boys and girls do it. A good public speaker does not just speak but aims to connect with his or her audience as much as possible.

    As far as I am concerned, a good public speaker does not fall down from heaven but rather they come from amongst us. That good public speaker could just be you and me apparently because public speaking is a skill that is learned over time with much practice. A quote from Paul Arden could just be the antidote you need right now to save face from your constant stage frights and excuses about good public speaking. “Too many people spend too much time trying to perfect something before they actually do it. Instead of waiting for perfection, run with what you go, and fix it along the way…”

    Happy you read.

    Let me know your thoughts in the comments section below.

  • How to Appreciate and Value Yourself in Life

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    “Just stop it!” she ranted ” What you are doing to me is not right at all?”

    This were the complaints of Mrs. Akombi after her husband arrived home at 3a.m in the company of two expensive call girls from a pub in town.

    “Why do you even care? You fool!” Mr. Akombi barked.

    This was an affluent couple that everyone in the neighborhood talked about. From a fleet of vehicles to high-end properties in town, nothing could hide their immense wealth.

    On the contrary, their marriage was on the rocks.

    Ivan, their firstborn son, was studying Mechanical Engineering at Pennsylvania State University. Their daughter, the last child in the home was studying medicine at a Russian university in Moscow.

    Despite their shambolic marriage, the Akombis had everything you could desire in life.

    Money to them was not a problem. What with the frequent flights to Zanzibar over the weekends.

    So, here is a couple that everyone wants to be like but unfortunately to many people, that is not just how life works.

    Have you ever wondered why the shortest or tiny people have the loudest voices? I stopped wondering the moment I realized nature has a way of striking a perfect balance amongst the living.

    No wonder camels are meant for a drought, scarce environment, unlike buffaloes that will start collapsing in a couple of weeks in the same environment.

    Below are six amazing ways you can employ to learn how to appreciate and value yourself in life. Read on.

    1. Learn to See the Good in You

    You are hurting yourself very badly by only seeing the good in other people. The fact of the matter is that you are only seeing the good in other people because that is what they have allowed you to see but they will not tell you about their broken relationships, bad habits, chronic diseases, physically disabled relatives.

    Therefore, in actual sense, you are doing yourself a great disservice by not appreciating the good in you and only seeing the good in other people.

    2. Count Your Blessings

    It is unfortunate that most of us just do not know how to count our blessings.

    We have the skewed mentality that blessings are only the mega lifestyles we see around us. Nothing could be further from the truth. The posh car, bungalow, or career accomplishments could be someone else’s blessings but not everyone can count them as blessings by the fact that everyone is on a different path in life. You understand what I mean. Right?

    By you learning to acknowledge the little things you have in life you set yourself up for bigger things in future. It means that even when the fat cheques start coming in you will still be content even when your neighbor on the south is building a three-storied bungalow that is already dwarfing your mansion.

    You will still be able to count your friends, lovely family, health and peace when all you have is gone in the face of adversity.

    3. See the Problems in Other People

    I have not told you to stalk, pry or dig up on someone’s life like paparazzi. I find it interesting when you can only see the problems in you and only the good in others. How about seeing their problem too. Well, this is not to say that your problems will soon be gone but it will make you realize that life is not a destination but a journey and whatever challenges you are going through right now; be it financial, social, health wise someone already went through the harrowing experiences before.

    To crown it, the discovery that he or she overcame the challenge will pump into you the energy to soldier on regardless of the pain or affliction.

    4. Stop Taking Life Too Serious

    “I must be rich by 25,” Jack chirped. Well, but what if by 25 Jack is not even a toe and shoulder close to riches? Is he going to kill himself?

    The important thing to put in mind here is that plans may change because of other factors beyond our control like let us say a chronically ill loved one consuming high hospital bills, but the goal does not change only the period. Yes, maybe Jack’s goal was a SMART goal but who said other factors might not come in that may affect the specific time set.

    In any given challenge, endeavor or task, despite the failure appreciate the fact that you tried and though you failed, you are in a better position to do better than the one who has never undergone the challenge before.

    5. Find Joy in Voluntary Service

    I am made to understand that one of the great habits in successful people is their penchant to offer themselves freely in terms of humble service, charity, philanthropy and so forth. In spite of their busy schedule, they will set aside time to give themselves out. I am not saying you should be rich to volunteer.

    Start right now. Visit your church maybe over the weekend and help with cleaning or weeding flower gardens. Do shopping for a sickly, old neighbor who happens to be a widow too. It is said that some have given their way to riches. Take part in across the country race to raise money for the hunger-stricken. Fix that tire burst for the woman driver you found stranded in town.

    Volunteering will give you the confidence and attitude of a problem solver, such that you will not be viewing life from a problematic perspective but you will be solution oriented. Rather, you will handle life like one handling a knife by the handle and not the blade.

    6. Do Something Extraordinary for Yourself

    A preacher ministering to his congregation told them, “Some of you are too uptight and always sad with your lives that you find it weird when you catch yourself smiling.” Hahah, “in fact, when you catch yourself smiling you cut yourself short and ask did I just smile?”

    It is funny or rather pathetic that to some of us, life has been too hard that we find smiling to be like an abomination. Sorry if that is how far this life has brought you. It is a journey so do not despair yet. You will remember this when you reach the peak of it.

    I hope you are not one of them. I used to wonder why the poor or rather the have-nots look jovial, can afford a 9pm to 7am sleep and are so confident of themselves. On the contrary, a millionaire in town is hardly sleeping, always chasing bigger goals than the previous, pensive most of the time and always flaring up at his/her employees

    Is that really what a happy, appreciated and fulfilled life should be lived like?

    Of course not.

    You need to start appreciating your very sense of being alive and well by doing something extraordinary for yourself. This could be traveling to your dream destination, go camping or hiking with a buddy, treat yourself to a sumptuous meal in a fancy restaurant in town, visit interesting places such as the Maasai Mara.

    If you have ever longed for a happy and fulfilling life start it from here at no cost at all. You just need a paradigm shift in your mindset, willingness to embrace change and a determination to appreciate life and hooray! You will be on your way to the most jovial person people have ever known.

  • No One Can Define You But Yourself

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    The author with colleagues at a workstation.

    Hey you, hope this post finds you well. We are in tough times as a country and it will be kind of you to check on your neighbor just to know how safe he or she is.

    To our fallen brothers and sisters in different parts of the country, more so, Luo Nyanza, may God rest their souls in peace. One socialite was quoted to suggest that “msiba wa kujitakia hauna kilio“, (you shouldn’t cry over a self-inflicted problem) but I choose to disagree in the strongest terms possible.

    Our dear brothers and sisters chose to exercise their constitutional right to picket and demonstrate but rogue police officers caught up with them and mercilessly took their lives by the bullet.

    There are two important questions I need you to ask yourself today.

    1. How are you shaping the definition of your country as a citizen of Kenya? And
    2. What defines your personality?

    Too many of us hardly care the shit about what defines us as persons. We are busy shaping and defining our acquaintances, neighbors, and friends but we hardly have the time to define ourselves.

    We have left that job to our parents, pastors, employers, friends, and village elders.

    I am here to tell you that no one should define you but yourself. Honestly, were you blatantly convinced that you are stupid and cannot make it to law school or whatever career of your choice? Save me the bullshit.

    Seriously? You were told you are not good in business and you chose to buy that? A beautiful you, fearfully and wonderfully made chose to take that in? Save me the crap.

    You were told you are not dateable and you believed it? No, you shouldn’t.

    Just before we continue I need you to affirm these positive affirmations firmly, loudly, and with a conviction of Biblical Paul. Better make things right now than clock 40 with regrets about your youth. Well, you may not be religious like me but you can find positivity in these statements.

    1. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
    2. What man can do, I can do better.
    3. He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world.
    4. I can because I can.
    5. Wealth, health, and long life are my portions because God has a purpose for me on this earth.
    6. The Lord is my protector and there is nothing evil that man can do to me in deed and word.

    Thank you for being a good student, assuming you followed the above instructions.

    I don’t know about you friend, but for me, I chose to define myself rather than be defined.

    This is so because who would purport to know me better than myself. I know how I hate crowds and like to lock myself in a closet! Not literally. Simply put, I know what you do not know about me, so don’t you try to exercise your behavior reading skills on me.

    A young man was teased that he is mentally challenged to pursue science subjects in his third form at high school and he fell for it. Sad.

    How many of us have fallen to these mediocre, energy-sapping words that demean us only to rediscover ourselves later?

    I want you to stand up with me today, champion, and let’s say no to every self-limiting definition that has been implanted in our lives by the very people who were meant to love, inspire and protect us against any self-limiting beliefs and definitions at a tender age.

    No point of getting bitter about them maybe they were as naive as you were about their actions.

    You can get remorseful too, I understand, it’s because you broke a soul out there and shattered a dream with your loud mouth and now you have to admit it. “Urrghhh!! a wretched me”, you say.

    Here is what I’m saying, friend.

    Nobody can define you but you.

    The Merriam Webster definition of the word define is to determine or identify the essential qualities or meaning of something or somebody e.g whatever defines us as human.

    We need to start defining ourselves guys. I need you for a moment to switch off your mind from what your mother, wife, girlfriend, husband, pastor, or special other said about you and pick that pen and paper

    Or you could use the smartphone you have, and let’s start redefining our lives.

    Looks simple, and an easy thing to do, right? But don’t go that direction because some people have never defined themselves since birth.

    All they know is that their BFF told them they are strong. Haha, maybe you were being flattered boy!

    It is interesting to note that some people have never really defined their person. I mean, who are you? What do you stand for? What are your values or core values? What about your personality? What are your strengths? What about your weaknesses or you have none? I don’t think so.

    What is more baffling is the fact that some have chosen to define themselves by their job positions or profession and that is where it stops. I have no qualms about society calling you by your job title.

    But you need to take a break and define who you are friend. Some have found themselves in awkward positions or rather caught off guard by interview questions that touch on their personality.

    Using a pen and paper or whatever smart gadget at your disposal, create columns with the above-given entries and write yourself down.

    I just started.

    Define yourself to be a better you.

    Be You
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    Thanks for stopping by.

  • 7 Top Factors to Consider When Choosing a Place to live

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    Hey there, whether you are a student in college, a newlywed couple or new in town, I guess at one point in life you have been among the people looking for a conducive place to live. After all, when all is said and done, every single one of us usually wants to retreat to a cozy place called home.

    Finding a conducive place to live can be an uphill task, more so, when you do not know what factors to consider in choosing the right place to call your home. Allow me to help you break down the factors bit by bit that will put you in a better position to make informed decisions.

    To many people that I have talked to, top on the list of their concerns, when choosing a home to live is usually security. Everyone wants to feel safe on the inside and outside and therefore, how safe one feels must be taken care of.

    Avoid rentals and flats with no fence (live or wall) and a gate. These are tale-tell signs of a not so safe place where everyone comes and goes. Look for a place that is well fenced with a strong gate that controls the movement of people in and out of the compound. Gates and fences serve to scare away potential burglars and petty thieves who may be up to something fishy.

    Depending on your main economic activity during the day, the choice of town you choose to make a home is also important. This is because statistics on crime rate vary in different towns. While some towns may have zero to a small percentage of crime, a few of them could be crime hubs. The company I work for recently shifted its operations to Kakamega town. With such changes in location, it was expected that the company would alert its employees of any new developments.

    It is needless to say that security topped the list of their alerts. Kakamega has a higher crime rate as compared to its neighboring town Bungoma. Therefore, as one looking for the right place to make a home, choose on a town or urban area that your security is guaranteed or something close to that. You do not want to be woken up in the middle of the night with some noises in the kitchen only to find a human hand trying to pick dinner leftovers. Worse still, arriving in an empty home that was once packed with furniture and high-end electronic gadgets.

    Secondly, as one looking for a place to live, social amenities such as hospitals, schools, churches and clean drinking water are important to consider. Some flats and rentals go for a long period without water let alone clean drinking water. Such dry spells greatly inconvenience tenants who have to fetch water from far areas. Apartments with tapped water are good but better if supplemented with borehole water in the event of a shortage.

    On the other hand, couples with school going children must check on the availability of schools in the place they would want to live. This is important as some areas may not have schools nearby which will force you to either consider taking your children to a boarding school or your kids walking or riding to school over long distances.

    A nearby health facility will serve you best than walking or traveling long distances for health services. Death may rob you of a loved one in the event that he or she is suffering from a chronic disease that may require immediate medical attention by a doctor.

    How about shopping? Does your ideal place of residence allow you to shop with ease due to its proximity or you have to wipe a sweat to get to the nearest shopping center? It is sometimes baffling; especially in the rural areas to find out that for one to mill maize, he has to walk more than 5 kilometers to get to a posho mill.

    Choosing a place to live should be based on how easier shopping for household items will be to you. A five to twenty-minute ride is better than an hour ride to the market. This will save you a lot of trouble with kitchen stuff.

    We usually encounter awkward occurrences sometimes when during cooking you realize a particularly important ingredient is missing. This will definitely force you to rush back to the market. Woe unto you if the market or place to shop is miles away from you. A bad day for you if you have visitors waiting to be served.

    In the past, tenants have complained of stinking sewers in their apartments that erode them the joy of eating their deliciously cooked meals. Such incidences usually arise from faulty or blocked sewers that fail to discharge waste matter. A properly built drainage system is a factor to consider when choosing a place to live.

    You could do some basic research from tenants already living in the apartments you want to move in to, just to find out whether the drainage system is properly functioning or are you going to wake up in the wee hours of the night to go for a long call simply because there is a blockage with the toilet flushing system and your taps have run dry.

    Save yourself the trouble by ensuring that you pick on an apartment that has a good drainage system on the inside and outside. It will not be super to pay good money for a flat that rainwater seeps through the front door during heavy rains.

    Recently, I passed by a storied rental apartment and there were an array of clothes spread on the lines for sun drying. When choosing a place to live, have the idea of an outdoor space in mind. Some flats are built facing each other with narrow spacing about 30 meters in between.

    This outrightly denies you your privacy and more so, could be a recipe for chaos over petty cases with your idle and prying neighbors. Outdoor spacing is not only important for sun drying your pieces of wet clothing but also gives you space to sunbathe and relax in the environment outside your house.

    Outdoor spacing can also be important for family playtime and hosting other functions that may require many people. Besides, tenants with vehicles will also have ample parking space for their fuel guzzling machines.

    We have two ears to hear, listen and understand the message being communicated unto us. However, it comes to a point where what you hear and what you need to listen to becomes mixed up, therefore, resulting in noise.

    You will realize it is a bad idea renting an apartment near a marketplace with blaring music and noises from traders. Adding insult to injury, a pub nearby plays loud music often, until 5 am in the morning. If you are not a Muslim, there is again no point of living near a mosque if you do not want to be woken up at 5 am every morning because of loud prayers coming from a mosque nearby.

    When choosing a place to live, ensure that you go for a quiet neighborhood. A quiet neighborhood will save you sleepless nights resulting from your 5 months old kid waking up often at night because of disturbing noise. Moreover, a quiet neighborhood will allow you to enjoy the comforts in your own home, for example, listening to music from your home theatre, study time or any other indoor activity that may require a quiet environment.

    Today, the internet has been branded the next town square.Apparently, this is true given the social media hype we experience today. Kenyans and the world over have never been connected to the internet like now before.

    It is true that friendships, jobs, businesses have now shifted to online platforms. It is against this background that you would want to consider choosing a place to live that is well connected to the internet.

    It will be worse for you to settle in your new home only to realize that your internet connection is not even 2G phew!!, you will only have yourself to blame.

    There are many other factors that one could still consider in choosing a place to live. I have mentioned but just a few basic factors that can serve as a guide to a new home seeker.

    A safe and secure environment coupled with rich social amenities, less noise, an outdoor spacing, proper drainage system and a nearby shopping center could be the ideal home for you at the very least. Do not forget about a good internet connection that will save you the time, money and energy of visiting a cyber.

    Until later guys!

  • How to Prepare For a Job Interview

    How to Prepare For a Job Interview

    You just received a call from a prospective employer that you have been shortlisted and therefore scheduled for a job interview.

    As is expected, mixed feelings of excitement and anxiety get into you as you ponder on the next step of action.

    Here are a few successful tips that might give you the job you have longed for.

    Tip 1#: Do a thorough Scrutiny of the Company’s Website

    Doing research about the company will give you a mouthful of information about the company’s history, location, current management, production trends, and competitive advantage.

    Having such vital information will help identify the gaps in the company and prepare you with a list of questions you might want to ask your prospective employer.

    Interview candidates’ quality questions usually score highly against other candidates who never ask questions.

    Tip 2#: Evaluate your Skills against the Job Requirements Needed

    You might want to ignore this important tip if you have been shortlisted for an interview.

    However, before you even think about it, understand that marching your skills against the job requirements will put you in a better position to explain why you are the best option for the company in that particular position.

    Your skills need not appear on the job requirements list word by word for you to secure the job. Of more essence is the fact that your skill base will allow you to handle the position before you sufficiently.

    Tip 3#: Check your Body Language

    Your body language speaks volumes even without your tongue. When preparing for an interview, ensure you have enough rest the night before to avoid dangerous yawns in front of the panel members.

    More so, make sure you eat enough breakfast to hold you up for the day in case of a face-to-face interview that may extend into the afternoon.

    If you love, your bottle of whiskey better is safe than sorry. Avoid it at all cost on the day before and the interview day.

    This will make you fresh of mind, sober, and a clear thinker during the interview. Project confident body language by maintaining eye contact and giving a firm handshake while smiling at your panel members.

    Lastly, sit straight on the chair during the interview without slouching or leaning on the table.

    Tip 4#: Prepare and Have the Right Outfit for the Interview with you

    Most interview outfits are formal with black, brown, blue, or white colours. For men, a suit or a well-ironed shirt and trousers with well-polished black shoes will do. Ladies can dress in suits too or in official trousers.

    Still, a decent solid colour skirt and blouse will do. Ladies should avoid too much jewellery and makeup that might create unnecessary attention during the interview.

    Avoid seductive dressing at all costs, as this might work against you by portraying you as a disrespectful person to the panellists and the occasion at hand.

    Tip 5#: Rehearse Interview Questions and Answers with a Friend

    Overconfidence can be dangerous. You are a perfect match for the job requirements, you know more about the company like the back of your hand, and you feel you have what it takes to get the job.

    However, rehearsing for the job interview could just be the thin line that will make a difference between you and the other qualified candidate.

    Rehearsing for an interview helps you find answers to common interview questions asked. It will also help you relate your previous work experiences to the job you are trying to win.

    More importantly, it will help you listen to your own voice, thus giving you more confidence.

    Tip 6#: Carry Essentials

    Like a lawyer carrying documented evidence to court against the defendant, a candidate for an interview also needs to carry with him documents that will prove his or her skills are what they say.

    Your academic and professional certificates, testimonials, and other crucial documents cannot afford to miss in your briefcase or handbag.

    Remember to carry a notebook and a pen; you might want to use them to write down important points during the interview. A bottle of water to prevent dry coughs and thirst is also important.

    Job interviews usually come and go. Some last for a day, and some may take more than one day. The most important thing to remember is that as an individual, you have what it takes to pass that particular interview.

    The fact that you were shortlisted means that you had a lot of potentials that the other candidates did not have.

    As such, as a candidate, always maintain the image you project in your application documents, follow the rules, and be a good student of life and there! You have your job.

  • 6 Super-effective Ways of Killing Boredom

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    https://pixabay.com/en/dog-boxer-boxer-dog-pet-dog-look-1639528/

    A friend once wondered that you could be in a room full of people partying with loud music blaring yet feel so bored. Boredom in people can occur in many ways. Even the most jovial individual that you know of occasionally feels bored. Boredom is simply a state of feeling bored. It could occur because of idleness or sheer lack of interest in a particular activity. For you to be able to kill boredom real quick, here is what you should do.

    1. Learn to Enjoy your Own Company

    Human beings are social creatures by nature and therefore, as expected will gravitate towards their own kind. However, many make the mistake of sacrificing their own time for unnecessary cliques and gangs. It is interesting to note that some individuals hardly enjoy their own company. They would rather listen to music streaming from a sound system in their friend’s house than sit on their own and listen to the same sound system. It is not about being socially shy but rather cultivating the habit of loving your own space and time. Your own time gives you the opportunity to reflect, meditate, and know more about yourself. If you really learn to love your own company, boredom will be outdated.

    1. Volunteer

    For you to be a good volunteer, the word selfish should not be mentioned or be associated with you. Volunteering requires that you offer yourself freely the Jesus style in any given task that you see fit to undertake. Rather than sit bored in a company having a conversation you do not seem to enjoy or follow, you could opt to visit a children’s home and play hide and seek with the kids. Alternatively, you could do mission work as a Christian and reach out in sharing God’s word and other personal items. Volunteering builds your self-esteem and gives you a feeling of confidence and satisfaction, which serves to make you a better person.

    It is interesting to note that some individuals hardly enjoy their own company. They would rather listen to music streaming from a sound system in their friend’s house than sit on their own and listen to the same sound system.

    1. Tour your Hometown

    It is amazing that a stranger could visit your hometown, make, and pass by every nook and cranny yet you, the town mayor by default have no idea where the bus station office is located. You could become a local tourist for a day or two and enjoy the taste and feel of the restaurants, recreation parks and resorts within your area instead of listening to strangers talking of services in your hometown you have no idea about. Touring your hometown will not clear your bank account with good financial planning. Just remember to spend wisely and live within your means.

    1. Run through the Family Album

    You walk into someone’s home and find 3-4 photographic albums neatly arranged on the shelf or wherever you keep yours. Funny enough, these family albums serve more as decorations and interior designer materials in most homes. On the contrary, they should serve as memories for our great and great-grandchildren to appreciate life and see how far their grandparents have come in terms of their social-economic life. Unfortunately, many of us are deluded by the fact that we have smartphones that can take and backup quality digital photos. How your children will be able to access those photos leaves more questions than answers. Conversely, they will never replace the touch, feel and memories that our traditional photo albums bring. Therefore, for you to break that boredom, why not take a seat right now and run through your family photographic album.

    1. Watch Funny Videos

    Do you want to subjugate the mountain of stress prevailing in your mind? Well, you could try watching a funny video. Funny videos aside from killing stress can relieve you of life sucking boredom and idleness. Have a collection of them on your PC or laptop and occasionally go through them whenever you feel bored. They will definitely energize you, lift your spirits and kill your boredom.

    1. Read for Leisure

    Get the latest piece of your favorite newspaper and read it like no man’s business. Be it visiting your online or offline book club, your action counts in relieving you of idleness that is a recipe for boredom.Incidentally, stress and boredom go hand in hand and research in the past has proven that reading for leisure reduces your level of stress by a significant percentage.

    Indeed, boredom is among many of the bad human emotions that no one wants to feel. As such, it is important that people engage in fulfilling activities that erode every layer of boredom in them. Engaging yourself in a number of constructive activities such as the ones listed is practically helpful in killing boredom. You do not have to try all of them at once, but pick the ones that suit you best and you will be on your way to a boring-free life.

    Add any other way to kill boredom in the comments section below.

    Till next time champion!!

  • 7 Reasons Why Money Has Never Come And How to Fix It

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    https://pixabay.com/en/wallet-credit-card-cash-investment-2292428/


    Hello people, first, I must say thank you for your continued love and support towards this blog. It is never easy remaining consistent by writing posts often. However, your likes, comments, and followership have kept me going. Cheers! To every single one of you for being a lovely online family.

    Yesterday morning, I uploaded a video on my facebook page about a robot by the name Sofia. Sofia is a robot that can partially perform the functions of a human being. In the video, Sofia is seen smiling and answering questions from a top journalist albeit some awkward moments.

    In case you missed the video here is the link https://www.inc.com/will-yakowicz/sofia-robot-hanson-robotics-web-summit.html

    Two centuries ago, landlines were unheard of in our lives, let alone mobile phones. To add insult to injury, if you happened to insinuate on a machine that could fly, you could be met with the most bizarre astonishment.

    Yet here today, we are talking about the world of artificial intelligence. Artificial intelligence is simply intelligence derived from machines and things that have no life in them. In contrast, natural intelligence is the intelligence found in humans like you and me and some animals.

    Such breath-taking inventions never fell down from heaven, they simply began as an idea by somebody who was passionate, determined and focused to make the world a better place.

    Sitting in my study, I sought to demystify why one part of the world can have so great inventions with super-rich entrepreneurs while some parts of the world are the exact opposite. Despite there being a number of factors to consider, to me, it all boils down to you as an individual. Who are you and what do you stand for?

    Greatness or Mediocrity

    Therefore, in a bid to find out why to some people being rich is impossible, and will never happen, I came up with eight points why money has never come your way and how to fix it.

    Reason #1: You Hate and Envy the Rich

    You all know the statement,”Your network is your net worth”

    Lewis Brown, a motivational speaker, said that we are a product of the people we keep close. This he said is possible by the fact that as you walk with them, you subconsciously pick their mannerisms, perceptions, and habits.

    I understand Kenya is a country where the gap between the rich and the poor is very wide and continues to widen. In Kenya, corruption is still rife as witnessed in the previous and current regimes. The select few who manage to be part of the system always walke home as instant millionaires.

    It is against this background that you may want to hate and envy your rich neighbor. Simply because the rich neighbor flaunts wealth you have no idea where it came from.

    However, hating and envying the rich only serves to keep this high net worth individuals away from you. Down the streets or in the villages, the rich are talked of with envy and admiration in equal measure. Some look at them as thieves who stole billions of money from the companies they worked for before. Some are said to be in secret societies like the Illuminati and Freemasons. Whatever the opinion you may have about the rich keep it to yourself but the fact remains that they are rich and you do not attract money and wealth into your life by envying, hating, and talking ill of the rich.

    Reason #2: To You, Money is the Root of all Evil

    You recently won ksh160, 000 via a Sports betting site. Quite a lot of money with no sweat, right? Well, the truth is always plain and simple- easy come easy go. You will go celebrating and telling every Tom, Dick and Harry about your luck. Unfortunately for you, your eager friends will be more than ready to eat your newfound fortune with you.

    Given that you went round showing off to your friends and acquaintances, many will come with a plethora of suggestions on how to do this and that. Ask Abisai about the many suggestions he got on Facebook. All of a sudden, everybody is your adviser. To take the shorter route, the money simply did not add up to give you something tangible. Subsequently, you rant and curse about money being evil. It never is because it simply picks the character of the beholder.

    In 1 Timothy 4:16, the bible mentions the love of money as the root of all evil. I understand this to mean that your love for money is the root cause of your troubles and not money in itself. You therefore should desist from demonizing money and treasure it as a value worth having.

    Reason #3: You Are a Jack-Of-All-Trades

    One columnist, on money magazine, once shared tips on risk taking. He asserted that people do not just take risks but calculated risks. By this, he meant to say that great entrepreneurs assess the benefits and production costs or rather the advantages and the disadvantages of a particular project before putting their money or energy into it.

    In their assessment, if the disadvantages far outweigh the advantages that is a no go zone. However, if the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages, then it becomes a project to consider. You do not make money by being a jack-of-all-trades and master of none. Simply identify your passion, a place you can add value and get the ball going. Where is your focus? Where do you direct your energy?

    Bill Gates, the tech. mogul behind Microsoft Corporation, was one of its co-founders in the year 1975. Back then he, ate drank, sang and slept dreaming about Microsoft. He identified his passion and area of value addition and set the pace right away, revolutionizing the computer world. It is only in the recent past, after having made so much money that he chose to diversify his investments.

    First by philanthropy through the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. Bill also has investments in Republic services, waste management company, Eco-lab (ECL) a company that produces cleaning supplies, 50% stake in Four Seasons Hotel and much more. He is simply finding a place to stash his cash and assets by diversifying his investments. This he has only done after building Microsoft Corporation to what it is today. Where is your focus? Where do you direct your energy?

    Reason #4: You Love Alcohol

    Kenyans love for strong drinks cannot be pushed under the carpet just yet. However, many fall short of controlling their thirst for strong drinks. Ultimately, one becomes a slave to binge drinking. End result is irresponsible drinking, family negligence and misuse of money in uncontrolled drinking. Money never comes in such like a lifestyle and might become elusive for eternity. Drinking should be done responsibly in the most courteous manner or to be abstained from altogether.

    On the contrary, one might argue the rich also love alcohol. Conversely, the rich drink on their hard-earned cash. They drink in the company of other rich friends in V.I.P. lounges, expensive and exclusive joints. They buy alcohol brands that are out of your price range. It would therefore, be unfortunate or demeaning to compare yourself with them. Have discipline to overcome. Visit a rehab for further guidance and counseling. Avoid alcoholic drinking joints and persons.

    Reason #5: Your Love Life is Chaotic

    You are known for sending expensive gifts to a bevy of beauties who have no qualms about sharing you with the other women you have. Surprisingly, you also pay their food and rent. It is important to understand that millionaires never grew into who they are by dating many women. They directed all their energy towards looking for wealth with one supportive woman by their side. With regard to matters of the heart, it is important for you to be discipline by avoiding overspending in a chaotic love life with many women. What defines your core values when it comes to dating? The mpango wa kando phrase is now the household name in town with unfaithful spouses blindly sinking into it. It has been proven that money never comes with a string of women to maintain, since your hard-earned cash goes into paying their monthly bills and other utilities. A number of women are also on the spot for moving with different men commonly known as sponsors. Unfortunately, for them, most of these sponsors are married men with families to maintain. You do not succeed by wrecking up someone’s else marriage. Redefine your love and social values.

    Reason #6: You think you are the manager of the Universe

    There are limits to how far you can go and how much you can do. In Luke 6:38, it is written that, “give and it shall be given unto you..” The question to ask is, how far is far? Bill Gates, the world richest according to Forbes magazine has a net worth of US$90 million. Despite his vast wealth, he cannot buy the world even if he wanted to.

    It is always good and generous to help someone out who might be financially stranded. However, when you are bent to help everybody who comes begging, you might find yourself with nothing left to meet your financial obligations. Millionaires are known to give for a certain course or charity. You will find them taking part in philanthropic activities such as building classrooms, drilling boreholes in water scarce areas or buying mosquito nets for the prevention of Malaria.

    On the contrary, you will not find them dishing out money to every boy, girl or woman who comes knocking. In their quest to get wealth, they have been blackmailed, swindled, conned and gone broke severally and know better than to give their hard-earned cash to everybody. Christ’s mission on earth was to seek and save the lost. He offered his life as a ransom for all. You are a human with limits and therefore cannot offer yourself financially to all. Give sparingly, take sparingly.

    Reason #7: You simply do not want to be rich

    You shy away from conversations about money and wealth. You have a collection of fictional books and movie thrillers but can hardly read one page of a financial newspaper or Bible (Ask TD Jakes). You watch TV and movies 10 hours running. You are waiting for that big break to fall from the heavens yet you are doing nothing with your hands. You have no bank account and if you have one, you do not know the account number. You hardly collect assets but liabilities that drain you of your hard-earned cash.

    More so, you talk about enjoying life here and now and wonder why people are trying hard to save and invest. You are in a cyclone of debts and find it normal, saying life is hard. You have a University degree, nice family and a lovely wife and say that is all that matters. You know the big guys in town who call the shots and think your proximity to them makes you rich, nothing could be further from the truth. You hardly give or donate but only take.

    Furthermore, when you get good money after a long dry spell, all you think is upgrading your wardrobe with new clothing and shoes, partying with friends and buying the latest gadget in town. You let people play with your ego, telling you how rich you look so that they get something from you, yet in real sense you are struggling with debts. You sleep at 9 pm and wake up at 9 am.You have no a daily to-do list. You are ever on social media accounts including Whatsapp, Facebook messenger, Twitter, Instagram, snap chat as late as 2 am.

    In addition, you are never grateful for the small favors, blessings, milestones you earn or get but rant and complain about everything. You fear success and do not want to appear to be doing better than your friends or common folk. You are waiting to be married by a rich man or marry a rich woman. You hang around broke people and call those who have made it proud yet, you have never approached them for financial advice or help in the first place.

    Life is short and there is no point in making it any shorter by living it with full of financial challenges. Some mistakes are silly and painfully costly. Learn from the rich men and women who have made it and try as much as possible to implement every single idea they tell you. I am trying myself. Life is neither hard nor easy depending on what you choose to do and ascribe yourself too. Be open-minded and have access to the limitless possibilities life has to offer through great ideas and people. My desire is that the words written here will transform your life today and make you a better person tomorrow.

    Have a great weekend.

    Let me know your thoughts, through the comments section below.

  • Top 3 Tips for Overcoming Non-assertive Behaviour

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    Image credit: www. pixabay.com

    Last week on Wednesday, I was privileged to be part of an invite-only birthday party for my next of kin. However, those invited were given room for one or two friends. It was an evening birthday party held in one of the most exclusive hotel in my hometown.

    So on my way out, I passed by one of my friend’s house by the name Larry. Ironically, Larry had many work assignments to do but alinishow hana form. I took advantage of his quagmire and asked him to accompany me to the birthday party. We arrived earlier than expected. Not being used to these five-star hotels, we walked in through the front door with our eyes asking for permission from the front door guard. A hall had been booked on the fourth floor for the birthday event. On entering, we found a bunch of ladies and gentleman chitchatting and giggling in one section of the hall. After a few pleasantries, with my friend Larry tagging along, we took our seats by the window overlooking the Eldoret-Malaba highway.

    Sooner than later, a short, dark-skinned and plump young man walked in dressed in a white shirt, blue trouser, black leather shoes and a marching bow tie. He walked past the group of people in front of our table and went straight to the left corner of the hall. After taking a seat, he inaudibly signaled the waiter who came running like a presidential escort guard. From where I was seated, I could hear the him ordering for one glass of mango juice. The waiter, a direct contrast of his customer in shape and height, disappeared into a door leading to another room –should be the kitchen and came out carrying a glass of fresh orange juice and served the young man without any explanation. Well, do not get me wrong, I said orange juice. However, not his order, the young man seated, happily drank the juice without much ado.

    Many are the times we express non-assertive behavior in our lives, therefore hurt ourselves in the process, and end up not getting what we want. Non-assertive behaviour is expressed when an individual chooses not to be open with his or her feelings opting instead to be indirect and emotionally dishonest. An example of non-assertive behaviour is when someone tells you they are okey but that is not what their face expression says. Alternatively, someone could be telling you a sad story while smiling leaving his or her listeners confused on how to respond. Individuals expressing non-assertive behaviour usually get angry with themselves when they fail to get what they want by letting people choose for them. In other words, non-assertiveness is simply being passive. One ends being a doormat to many people. Such people usually free ride on the excuse that they are for peace and do not want confrontation in situations they have different opinions or do not want to express themselves openly.

    Here are top 3 tips to Overcome Non-assertive Behaviour.

    Tip 1#: Stop Shying

    Shyness is a perfect companion for non-assertive behaviour. There is only one sure-fire way to overcome shyness. Reading articles on sites such as wikihow is good but it will not help you much if you do not take a personal initiative and break out of your comfort zone. Breaking out of your comfort zone means getting out of your anti-social closet by interacting more with people in situations you feel shy. Normally, whenever someone is in a situation that he or she feels shy, his or her first instinct is usually to stay quiet or leave the social setting.

    However, for you to overcome, take a bold step and do the exact opposite by staying in situations you feel shy and try to speak up. As the old saying goes-practice makes perfect. Eventually you will master the courage to start up conversations and follow them through in front of people. Your newfound self-confidence will make you an assertive person.

    Tip 2#: Stop Minding the Opinion of Others

    When you start to be more concerned with the opinion of others than your own, you set the pace for pleasing people and becoming a doormat. Opinions are simply views or judgements over something. Opinions are not necessarily based on facts or knowledge but hearsay and partial truths. Always stand up and make your voice heard, regardless of what others will say about your newfound confidence. Some situations will require taking a certain action such as when your self-esteem is being attacked. It demands that you speak up against your would be enemies. Turn the negatives thrown at you into positives by always disowning the negatives. For instance, if someone tells you, “you will die poor”, tell them you do not believe them or ask them what makes them say so. In most cases, they will shut up or change topic. Stop minding about the opinion of others by getting into the habit of doing something extraordinary out of your normal demeanour. It could be changing the way you express yourself by speaking slowly and clearly. In being assertive the tone of your matters greatly. A timid,shaky voice does not portray assertiveness.

    Tip 3#: Project a Confident Body Language

    Besides word of mouth, our bodies can also communicate without uttering a single word. By looking at one’s body language, one can easily tell someone feelings on the inside. Most people will always look down whenever they are experiencing bad feelings. Interestingly, quite a number of people project this body language even when they are not experiencing bad feelings. Looking down when walking never projects a confident, outgoing body language. When walking, always ensure your head is held up high with your shoulders falling back. Avoid looking down when meeting people; rather look sideways than look down.

    Learn to maintain eye contact when addressing or talking to people. Looking sideways and fidgeting never portrays a confident, assertive body language. One might say the elderly will consider this rude. I think it depends with where you come from. If that is the case, you can maintain eye contact when starting to speak or simply look at the nose bridge -hahaha and move your eyes to a particular spot when finishing your sentence. Oscillate between the listener’s nose bridge and your chosen spot until the conversation is over. Avoid anti-social body language such as walking or seating with crossed arms, speaking with hands over your mouth or face. An assertive body language commands respect and attention from your listeners and promotes resourceful social interactions. More so, it will help you overcome non-assertive behaviour.

    Overcoming non-assertive behaviour is possible even to the most passive person out there. It calls for faith, practice and persistence on your part. Changes might not occur immediately, but with time, you might run for a parliamentary seat in your constituency. Practice on the above mentioned tips daily without fail by getting out and interacting with mothers, fathers, your brothers and sisters in the society. Stop always minding about the opinion of others, only mind about what God saying about you. Opinions simply remain to be opinions. Finally, allow your body language to project self-confidence and not timidity.

    Just so you know, the birthday party was the best of its kind!