A bad habit is like a shackle in your life. It can be very easy to acquire but very hard to let go. If you want to break a bad habit, here are seven tips that can be helpful.
Stay Away from the Triggers
A bad habit does not just come about. A number of factors in your life could trigger it. For instance, sex addiction could come from too much exposure to sexual content in movies and watching pornography. Relentlessly discipline yourself to avoid the triggers at all cost. Read more about triggers here
Delay the Urge
Over time, a bad habit in a person’s life becomes second nature. It is like a reflex action. However, you can train yourself to delay the urge and think about what you are about to do. This act will slowly and gradually dissipate the urge to commit the bad act.
Stay Consistent Day in Day out
Breaking a bad habit requires consistency on your part. You may find yourself smoking that piece of cigarette that you had made a vow never to smoke again. Don’t you get discouraged, stand up, dust yourself and remain true to the goal of breaking the bad habit. Consistency requires that you discipline yourself accordingly by totally avoiding the habit for at least three weeks.
Withstand the Discomfort in the Process of Breaking Free
It is very hard! No need of lying to you. Breaking a bad habit has never been easy and will never be. A lot of discomfort usually accompanies the period of breaking free. This calls for patience and persistence on your part. Press past the discomfort with faith.
Have an Alternative Behaviour
If you are used to checking your smart phone every 5 minutes even while at your workplace, you could choose to keep the smart phone out of reach for a while until you are able to complete your work. Having an alternative action to a bad habit helps you substitute the bad habit with a good habit eventually breaking free from the bad habit.
Have a Friend Who Can Hold you Accountable
Many people who want to break a bad habit always make a promise to never partake of the habit again. However, they fail to anticipate the opposite outcome and whenever they slip and fall back into the bad habit; they hate themselves for it and resolve they cannot change. People suffering from a bad habit should avoid being perfectionists and embrace the fact that they are humans who are bound to fail. It is therefore necessary to have an accountability partner who will hold you accountable for your actions and cheer you up in the run to freedom.
Set a SMART Goal to Breaking Your Bad Habit
SMART goals are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-based. For instance, you could be struggling with the habit of masturbation. You then find out that one of the triggers to masturbation is reading pornographic literature. To break the habit, it calls for setting SMART goals. You could give yourself three weeks and resolve to avoid all the triggers to the habit such as movies, pornographic content. Rather watch comedies than movies that have sexual connotations in them. The goal in itself is SMART and it will give you the impetus to soldier on.
If a person is enslaved by a bad habit, he alone has the key to break it. Without personal discipline, consistency and faith your desire to freedom might not be realized. Be happy because many have broken free and you will break free too.
I have occasionally attended youth retreats for schools, churches, and colleges, and whenever the topic of dating comes up, there is usually a wave of excitement that fills the air.
Why this topic creates a lot of excitement in young men and women beats understanding. Interestingly, I realize that three key things can greatly make people excited and curious.
These things are namely: food, love, and money. You will agree with me that I am 100% damn right on this.
It is important for youths to understand that dating involves matters of the heart and that they shall approach it with uttermost respect and the attention it deserves. Unfortunately, very few would care to learn about the fundamentals of dating.
Conversely, they will learn about dating through a hands-on approach. Do not get me wrong; I am not being judgmental. Besides experimenting with dating, they will also pick one or two clues from romantic movies and make them a reality.
However, it is better to make things right in the first place than be sorry later.
Let us get to the core of things by talking more about dating. Dating is defined as a consistent appointment between two people of the opposite sex (though I am meant to understand that there is dating of same-sex nowadays) to know more about each other by assessing each other’s suitability for marriage.
That said, note that there are two types of dating, namely:
One on One Dating and
Group dating
One on one dating involves two single people going out on a date and spending time together to know more about each other. On the other hand, group dating involves a clique of single men, women organizing, and going out on a date with the aim of forming ties for a romantic relationship that will lead to marriage.
Definitions aside, problems begin when Jacob, a church choir member, sees both Nancy and Mercy. Oooh My! You do not want to be caught up in that mess. It feels heroic when Jacob knows that he can comfortably oscillate between two women.
However, trouble begins when one day, Nancy picks up Jacob’s phone. Incidentally, a message pops into the text box from a contact saved us msee wa makaa (charcoal seller). I see no problem with that.
Everything is perfectly fine until Nancy is tempted to scroll the phone and open the text box. Wololo! I am not a Maraga, but I can tell you freely that this will be a tough petition to be heard by I do not know whom.
The content of the text message reads like “Bae unafanya? Nakufeel tu sana…” (what are you up to baby?..feeling you so much)
Such like the above scenario are common to many reading this post. Most young men and women can relate to the story with laughter-filled mouths, probably because they heard about it somewhere or they were the villain themselves, breaking somebody’s heart in the process.
We need to understand that when it comes to dating, there are three groups of daters.
Never Daters
They are hardly seen with women and do not date at all.
Ever Daters
They are always dating different women at different times. You will never hear of them being single but go through breakups occasionally.
Healthy Daters
They date one partner at a particular period.
Most importantly, let us accept the fact that marriage was created and ordained by God. As such, God will only approve a relationship that gives glory and honor to him. Unfortunately, some youths I know of have trivialized the bible as an archaic book with no moral authority to dictate how they should live.
Sadly, they have made movie stars (superficial characters that do not live the life they portray on television) their heroes. This is not to say that movie stars are bad people. In the meantime, click here for successful tips on dating.
This post is a dedication to all the single young men and women hoping to date someday.
Kindly read, share and leave a comment. You might bless a soul somewhere.
Sex is a virtue that is given by God. The urge of sex in itself is part of God’s creation in not only humanity but animals too. Interestingly, rampant and casual sex is on the rise. In the 21st century, gay and lesbian groups have emerged very courageously in defense of their members who have a different sexual orientation to what is considered normal. This subject has raised a lot of debate in churches, with some churches allowing same sex marriages while others opposing to it. Sex is holy and youths are to learn that they have to give it respect and make it sacred. If you want to know why sex has become common and not sacred, as it should be, here are reasons why.
Peer Pressure
Peer pressure is real and with us to stay. Listening to the youth talk about sex makes you wonder what morals they have. A boy in a group of his age mates will openly brag about his sexual escapades with a girl they know of. He will animatedly describe the drama to his eager to listen friends. Being in such company makes you vulnerable to their influence. Your continuous presence in their company makes you become like them even though you do not want to. Girls on the hand will praise you in their small talk on how good you are in bed. To her friends listening, this only serves to create a hunger and a longing for a taste of the same pie.
Pursuit for Money
Money is everything, it is good, prestigious and worth having it. However, the pursuit of money has created more problems than options in peoples’ lives. The rising incidences of casual sex in people also occurs due to them chasing after money. A young woman with no job or source of income would rather join her clique of friends who are selling off their bodies for money. Having a source of income is good but when done with morals. You would rather work as a house cleaner than sell off your body.
On the same knot, a young man with no form of employment would rather feed, earn and be put up by a sugar mummy in exchange for his sexual services. They care less about the sacredness of sex with the pretext that the end justifies the means. A young woman in university living in a bed-sitter house would rather invite men to her house to feed and pay rent for her in return for sexual favours. This is not to say that all women living alone in a bed-sitter are immoral. Stereotypes can be dangerous as well.
The search for job can also be grueling and energy-sapping. It is hard not to give up when all your applications are rejected and your would-be employer sends you a regret email. If one is desperate enough for the job, they will bow down to anything including giving their bodies for the job.
Permissiveness in the Society
Recently, a friend went to visit a voluntary counseling and testing centre (VCT) to know about his health status. Luckily, for him, tests done proved him HIV negative. On being asked whether he is married, he gave a negative response. On being asked whether he had sex before, he also gave a negative response. Interestingly, the people present were shocked that a man at his age was single and a virgin. True enough, society has become permissive by making normal what is considered sacred and holy, avoiding checks and balances in parenting by giving kids a lot of freedom or simply burying its head in the sand. It is no longer a surprise when one has a child out of wedlock but it becomes a big surprise when one is still a virgin at 30.
Your Classy Smart Phone
Gone are the days when one would visit a cyber café to check their facebook or twitter account thanks to smart phones. As it is said, the current generation is chattier than ever. All your social media accounts namely Whatsapp, Instagram, Snapchat among others have been wrapped nicely into your one large smart phone. It is only a doctor who can tell what will happen to peoples back necks if they continue bending their necks to their smart phones daily for a chat for the next three years.
A smart phone is good and it feels nice having one. It saves you a lot of trouble in sending emails, doing online shopping, editing documents, taking quality pictures and a flurry of other activities. Your smart phone also serve as a knowledge bank with all the kind of information you need a Google click away. Despite its benefits, smart phones can waste your quality time with family, spouse or special other with unnecessary chats. This chats also come with a lot of social garbage and propaganda embedded in them, some of which are immoral and vulgar. Attached files of videos, images and even documents can carry a lot of profanity or immoral stuff that can suffocate your moral values with time and make you a prey to sexual immorality.
Movies
Movies are meant for entertainment. They are good because for a moment, they make you break away from reality and enjoy the fantasy world. Apart from entertainment, movies are inspiring, motivational, informative, and educative. There is a quote that says for all the riddles and puzzles in life, you can solve them by watching movies.
However, when you watch movies for a long time especially the genre of drama, action and thrillers you will realize three main themes that usually stand out. These themes include rebellion, sex, divorce and to some extent money. At times, they are subtly embedded into the movies and one cannot help but watch them. A young man once said that sex appears cool in movies. Unfortunately, for him, that is not what he might experience in real life. Clearly, too much of something is poisonous. When you are exposed to too much of sexual content, your morals and values are subconsciously affected. Movies are powerful and they can change your life for the better or worse.
God created sex for both procreation and pleasure. However, if mishandled, it can lead to many physical and emotional wounds that might take forever to heal. You should keep sex sacred by harnessing it or transmuting it to other channels such as a gym workout or getting busy in a constructive activity. Remain true to the call to keep sex holy.
Dear Reader, I hope your day is fairing on well and you are fine in the Lord.
Remember it is an election day, to those in Kenya.I wish every single one of you peaceful elections in whichever region or part of the country you are
Lets preach PEACE! PEACE! PEACE!
I just cast my vote by 9:00 A.M and my hope is that peace prevails even as we wait the final tallying of results.
Aside from the elections update I know you are ready and eager to know about the one ignored secret to riches.
Well, here is the interesting thing about the secret; it is found in the bible and not in self-improvement or investment best-sellers.
I am not going to teach you on how to select the best stocks that will give you profits on your investment or how to invest in real estate where the super rich in Kenya and the world over store their wealth nor do an analysis to recommend process changes on your business. I am here to inform you that God loves you unconditionally and wants the best in life for you (Jeremiah 29:11).
Given the assurance that he wants the best in life for you, it is important for you to note that he wants you to make money and a lot of it in a Godly manner. We are aware that Kenya is a Christian nation with a small percentage of its citizens being Muslims. Actually, many are Christians because they are born of Christian parents and thus were given Christian names. Subsequently, in the8.4.4 education system in Kenya, they studied Christian Religious Education and therefore identify more with the Bible than the Quran.
Nevertheless, the same bible we associate ourselves with much,has outlined the commandments and God’s will on true Christian living of which most of us have fallen short of or simply ignored. In such a case, the bible still presents God, as a God of mercy, forgiveness and a second chance. Case in point, one needs to look at the corruption levels in government, extra –judicial killings that were long forgotten, lack of integrity in leadership, rogue men of the cloak and the tribalism menace threatening to tear down our national unity and cohesion. These points to a Christian nation that has simply chosen not to depict the very image of God.
It is because of such social and economic ills that many (true Christians included) have been forced and conditioned to believe that real wealth can never be obtained legally. Listening to a conversation among the youngpopulation, one would be surprised to learn that they believe for one to be super rich or wealthy in Kenya, crooked means of making money have to be employed. Such crooked means include corruption as done by some senior officials in civil service, stealing from your employer, killing for wealth, shady deals by who is who in government , evasion of taxes, importing of contraband and smuggling of goods, drug trafficking and many more.
Therefore, moneymaking has been associated with corruption and shady deals that do not meet the eye. As such, pastors and Christians have always been perceived to be poor and living in abject poverty, no wonder the phrase as poor as a church mouse.
This makes me think that early Christians made themselves comfortable with the perceived notion of poverty upon them taking consolation as followers of Christ suffering for his names ‘sake with regard to wealth. To the best of my biblical knowledge, it has never been God’s will for a Christian to live in abject poverty or lack material possessions. In fact, after the sufferings of Christ glory follows. (1 Peter 1:10-11) This is because, as it is simply written He was wounded for our transgressions, bruised for our iniquities (even of our ancestors), the chastisement of peace was upon him and his strips heal us (Isaiah 53:5). Christ conquered all our sufferings stemming even from generational curses and said at the cross it is finished (John 19:30). With this knowledge in mind, one needs not to walk or perceive Christianity as lacking and suffering but rather victorious in every sphere including wealth creation.
Certainly, a Christian living in the 21st century should be fully aware that God wants them to make wealth legally and not follow the world in acquiring material wealth without God (Proverbs 10:22). When Jesus Christ faced the tempter after fasting for 40 days and nights, the tempter mentioned to him that all the kingdoms of the world would be his (Christ) if he bowed down and worshipped him (devil).However Christ replied and told the devil that you shall worship the Lord your God and serve him only (Luke 4:5-8) . My fellow good people, there is no other secret to wealth that has ever been ignored that the one found in scriptures above. The devil was ready to give Christ all the kingdoms of the world if he could only bow down and worship him. How much do you think the Lord would give to you that real wealth if you bow down and worship him in truth and in spirit and not as your ancestors worshipped? (John 4:21-24)
Many have bowed down to the devil and have been given a lot of wealth and fame as a result albeit the ungodly way, however, true Christianity demands that one does not lose his own soul in pursuit of wealth and material possessions (Proverbs 30:8-9) .
More so, Christians should worship in truth without pretence and not pretend to be well and good before God when their souls are in a terrible state. They should be true to the brethren and God.
Lastly, God is Spirit, and those who worship him must worship him in spirit.
Finally, Christians are commanded to serve God.
In conclusion, God wants to bless us with real wealth but on certain conditions. I do not know what your interpretation of these scriptures is but to the best of my understanding a personal relationship with God through worship and service will certainly guarantee a Christian real wealth. Watch this video for more insights.
Yesterday, I slept quite late after overworking myself mercilessly with advanced excel formulas. Well, I hit the pass mark for the course anyway so I slept soundly like a well-fed cat. It is 2 years down the line since most of my peers and I finished college. Some opted to join missionary schools and give their lives to serving Christ. Some chose to work as teachers but not under the Teachers Suffering Center (T.S.C).Fate led them to the Board of Governors in individual secondary schools. By the way, I have lost count of my family members who are in the teaching profession. I highly commend them for the good work they are doing in giving a brighter future to our kids through education and training.
Others opted to go in search of online jobs. Lucky for some, their skills sold them to the highest bidder at a time when the freelancing industry was not yet competitive and had not been dominated by below standard writers. For some, they retreated to their hometowns and set up businesses. Unfortunately, for many who had not done business before, the chances of their businesses staying afloat was 0.00 and there was not much they could do to salvage their businesses because of financial constraints and lack of collateral to borrow bank loans.
Am yet to come across, those who have joined politics in this campaign season that will see Kenyans head to the ballot on the eighth of August. However, a few turned out to be a little mysterious by the fact that life appeared to be figured out for them yet one could not tell what business they run or form of employment they are in.
Finally, there is this last group of few individuals who chose to be scholars. Despite the numerous C.A.T.S, assignments, exams and final project one is subjected to for his undergraduate degree, they did not think of rest or finding work but slipped right away into Master Programmes.
After college, there were few phone calls wired to and fro; friends and former classmates calling and checking on one another. Interestingly, as the years went by the number of phone calls I have received personally have reduced and turned into occasionally “hi” text messages.
For the lovebirds on campus, am sorry to say their lovely and warm romantic lives faded into thin air after the fare thee well message from the chancellor. A few relationships survived the dynamics that came with finishing campus such as having to move from your hometown in search of a job in the city. Few relationships survived the economic hard times that come with finding a job for a graduate in Kenya.
It is actually frightening and discouraging when you meet a young man who finished college 3-5 years ago still struggling to make ends meet. He will not talk about marriage unless you mention it. Few a lucky to have their girlfriends by their side even when they have no stable source of income.
Despite the biting and harsh reality that meets graduate after college, not all is lost for the educated youth in Kenya. Many have been successful and are continuing to be successful by stretching beyond their limits through persistence and determination.
As you wait for that big dream job, here is a list of constructive activities you could do to make a difference in your life:
Enrolling for a tertiary course
A degree is a percentage of knowledge the world has that confines you to a particular field or profession. One has to be exemplary good at what he chooses to specialize in, in order to sell out. One good way of building your career is by enrolling and sitting for professional exams, enrolling in other short courses related to your major or can add value to your skill base. Time waits for no man, thesooner you identify a course the better.I am currently pursuing an online free course on Coursera. I have already earned my module 1 certificate for Business Metrics for Data-Driven Companies.I have just moved into my next module under Excel to MySQL analytic techniques for Business Specialization. Your given skill in writing, data analysis or graphic design could be monetized with persistence and determination to make you a better person financially.
Network Marketing
In spite of the venture being received negatively in some quarters, a number of educated youths are making money by selling products such as weight losing tablets, skin care creams and other supplements that sustain and manage one’s health and diet respectively. The concept behind Network Marketing involves selling a particular product to a willing buyer and introducing them into the trade. The buyer X enters into the network marketing chain under you the seller, opens an account with the network marketing company and hits the ground running by selling the same products and building a network of individuals under them called a team. Every individual on the chain earns money form his or her team members. The bigger your team and the more sales they make the more the money you earn.
3. Online Jobs
“It is tiresome, brain-draining and energy-sapping,” my brother once mentioned this to me about academic writing. However, many youths, have opted into this venture rather than wear out their soles in search of unavailable low paying jobs. The few, I have talked to says it pays quite well in between ksh7000-10000 per week during peak seasons.
Second-hand (Mitumba) Business
Not popular businesses for a degree holder but many youths have found a source of livelihood here. They sell an assortment of second-hand clothes including jeans, trousers, t-shirts, hooded jumpers, singlets and vests. No one can do without clothes. However, one needs to be careful with their display location as putting your stall or boutique where there is no human traffic might make you go hungry. One also needs to sell a variety of men and women second-hand clothes and not just border on one type of clothes such as t-shirts. One also needs to replenish his stock weekly to avoid customers losing their taste because of coming across the same pieces of clothes over and over.
Hawking
With hawking, one can be sure of no less than Ksh.200 in their pocket daily. Hawking can be done on virtually any commodity including shoes, pens, snacks, pieces of clothing, foodstuffs. All said, this is another rare venture for graduates yet it can eke them a living as they wait for the big job to come by. (more…)
Is your teen struggling with peer pressure lately? It happens and it’s vital that you support your teenager in coping with peer influence. Peer pressure is when your teenager does what they wouldn’t do in order to fit in or be accepted and valued by their friends. Peer influence could be positive or negative. If your teenager is being influenced positively, that’s good for you but things could go south if your teenager gets influenced by negative peer influence.
Peer Group
Image courtesy | A diverse group of students smile as they discuss the study material on the table in front of them.
As is commonly known, peers are people of the same age, same interests, or social status. Peers hang out together, go to watch a football match together, and spend a lot of time with one another.
Your teenage behaviors and characters are shaped by the people they spend the most part of their time with. These people are none other than our peers.
Peer Pressure Amongst Teenagers
Peer pressure usually kicks off in the teenage years. By the time, one is a youth; their character is already shaped and built by the people he used to hang out with when he was still a teenager. Ultimately, as a young adult, a person picks on the mannerisms or characters of the people he or she works with or his informal group.
Therefore, it is important to know that peer pressure is real. We cannot run away from peers in our lives, however, we should be careful about the kind of pressure that our peers might exert on us to do something.
For instance, you might be non-alcoholic but your peers have no qualms about using strong drinks. As such, they will impart pressure on their peer who does not drink into joining them for a drink. Conversely, a devoted Christian young man would put pressure on his peer who is a drug addict to accompany him to church to worship God.
Peer Pressure Amongst Adults
Nonetheless, regardless of gender or age, we cannot run away from peer pressure in our lives. Mildred sits in a self-help group where every member of the group drives a car except her. Mildred, therefore, decides to take a bank loan against her wish to buy herself the latest BMW to suit her group.
Still, down the streets, you hear such talks as “everybody is doing it nowadays”, “Kickbacks are obvious, people in government take them I don’t mind taking them too”.
Peer pressure is a powerful force that influences our lives and we need to say no to it especially when it is negative peer pressure.
Daniel is a biblical character who lived an outstanding Christian life despite living and working with people who did not worship Jehovah.
Serving in the royal courts of king Nebuchadnezzar back then, Daniel and his three friends refused to feast on the royal food that contained meat from ceremonially unclean animals.
Even when other Jewish inhabitants had conformed to the Babylonian gods, Daniel and his three friends resolved not to be defiled (full story in Daniel chapter 1).
There are a number of factors affecting the 21st-century teenager and youth such as
1. External Influence.
As mentioned earlier, peer pressure could be both positive and negative. With respect to negative peer pressure, an individual is faced with influences that go against his wish and personal values.
In today’s high-tech life, the youths have become highly tech-savvy and therefore spend most of the time glued to their smart gadgets. This denies them the chance to spend time and interact with adults who would otherwise correct them when they misbehave or go wrong.
On the other hand, smartphones come with all manner of content that the youths feed on without guidance from their parents, guardians, or pastors.
Content such as drugs, devil worship, and sexting influences the youth negatively. The media has also a great influence on how the present-day youth behave.
2. Internal Influence
Youth with low self-esteem are most likely to be influenced by the opinions, attitudes, and perceptions of their peers more than their parents.
This is because the youth always sees themselves as unattractive, unpopular, and unintelligent which makes them more vulnerable to peer pressure.
Ultimately, this young man sinks deep into negative social influences apparently because of a lack of healthy friend associations and spiritual guidance.
Dire consequences of negative peer pressure are right in front of our eyes as evidently seen in violence amongst young people, drug addiction, car accidents, early pregnancies, and abortions.
Overcoming Negative Peer Pressure
Youths and persons of any age can learn to overcome negative peer pressure by
• Saying a polite no without hurting or offending others.
The Bible gives a perfect, clear example of politely saying no through the story of Joseph and Potiphar’s wife. He politely said no to the sexual advances of her master’s wife.
• Avoiding the source
Joseph had to stay away from Potiphar’s wife in order to avoid the temptation that waylaid him.
Many times in our lives we want to do the right things but we stay in the company of the wrong people.
You do not seek marriage advice from a divorcee. In the same way, you do not seek financial advice from a broke person because he will mention to you all the reasons why you cannot make money.
• Fleeing from the source
After repeated nags from Potiphar’s wife unto Joseph to indulge in an illicit affair, Joseph had but only one option; to flee from the source.
At times fleeing might cost us our friends but then, there is no point in sacrificing your bright future for an individual who is leading you to a gutter.
• Being prepared to pay the price
After standing his ground against Potiphar’s wife, Joseph ultimately found himself in prison for crimes he had not committed.
In overcoming negative peer pressure, we might pay the price in one way or another by losing our friends, and false accusations but it is worth it because, in the end, you will be healthier, wiser, and stronger.
• Parent’s Teaching
Parents should teach their young children at an early age to make rational decisions. They should constantly approve and disapprove of the kind of friendships their children entertain. Parents should mold their teenagers into making the right choices in life. On the other hand, children should be free to share the kind of friends they have with their parents.
• Choosing their friends wisely
Friendship with an angry man makes one an angry person too. Youth and teenagers should choose friends that reflect their deepest values and qualities and shun young people that project vice.
• Refusing to be fooled by moral relativism
This is an attitude that says am okay, you are okay, no matter what we think and do as long as it does not hurt the other person.
How WRONG! Whatever we do affects others directly or indirectly. If I play music in my home theatre at the highest volume, yes, it is cool but to my nearest neighbor that would be noise and a breach of environmental laws.
Having this kind of attitude weakens our resolve to be moral and mind others, however, if we focus on building our character by watching and reading what has the ability to influence us positively, life will be better.
Last Word
If your teenager or youth is struggling with peer pressure, not all is lost and they aren’t alone. Most people succumb to peer pressure because of the fear of rejection and the need to be accepted.
As such, because of their insecurity, they fall victim to manipulation from their peers and are influenced negatively. Nevertheless, we should always be bold and stand up for what we believe in. Resist and overcome negative peer pressure.
Hello champion, it is a pleasure to have you on this site. We value your visit because it is a clear indicator that you wanna be a better version of you; and who does not want to be better anyway. I want to myself.
So today, I wanna feed you with 7 magical points on how to get rid of procrastination; Let’s go for a ride on the roller coaster.
1. Prioritize.
Our lives are cluttered and filled with every human activity or engagement that the mind could possibly lead us to. However, without factoring in order and importance many of us end up in a state of paralysis and procrastination. The result is inaction which leads to zero outcome.
Since school, the importance of preparing a daily To- do- List has always been emphasized. A daily To-do-List enables you write down all the activities you intend to do for the day.
It allows you to prioritize and begin with activities that are most important to you; and how would one know a particular activity is the most important? Probably, the most important activity is one that gives you most happiness and satisfies your values and needs. One can apply the A, B, C technique when it comes to prioritizing.
Such that, the most important activities are categorized under group A, activities that do not need urgency can be categorized under group B and finally the least important of activities can be placed under group C.
These categories could be further subdivided such that we have A1, A2 ;B1, B2 and C1,C2. Of course this is not for the lazy, you are here because you are a champion, right?
2.Press past the Discomfort.
In most cases, the least important of activities in our lives always take the lead. On arriving home from an office job, one would rather watch The Designated Survivor Series than complete writing a business plan.
A young man would rather go out and hang out with his friends or play computer games the whole day rather than learn a new skill or read self-help and personal development books.
Actually, to every single one of us, life is usually filled with choices and options that ultimately determine our destiny. The moment you realize there is no glory without sacrifice that is the point where you enjoy being uncomfortable by simply engaging in those activities that are highly prioritized and are gonna add value to your life.
3.Set Clear Deadlines.
Any time people make pledges or a promise to give money or service delivery, they accompany the pledge with a given deadline. Self-help groups always have rules and one of the rules is to always give out one’s dues on time.
Deadlines enable us work hard to beat them. Interestingly, one would rather work hard to deliver on the deadline of their job or company they work for but have no deadline of their own. Without deadlines in our individual lives, we will lack the will and the commitment to engage in one particular task to its completion.
Maurice, a father of two and a mechanic has always been contemplating about opening a garage of his own.Unfortunately, that is where it stops. He has never gone ahead to put his plans on paper and work within a given time-frame to achieve this particular goal. End result is procrastination and a receding hairline.
4.Cut Out the Distractions.
Before going to bed, the previous night, Josephine had purposed to go on a morning run at 5 a.m the following day. Early in the morning, she woke up to the alarm sound she had set for 5.am. She slowly crawled out of her blankets and put one foot on the floor then another. She then dragged herself to her wardrobe where she put on her running attire and running shoes but guess what four email notifications and two twitter messages popped up on her phone. To cut the story short, there was no morning run.
In some churches, strict pastors have broken apart smartphones of non-attentive believers who have been distracted from listening to the sermon by their smartphones.
How many times do we get distracted by TV, iphones,our own thoughts and even the sweet small-talk within our ears reach; and sacrifice our most important activities at the altar of the less important. The more we pay attention to the distractions the more we build ground for procrastination and completing important tasks late.
5.Take Baby Steps.
One is never to busy to pee when it comes calling. A mega project in your life could be demanding your one hour attention. Maybe the website you are trying to build. Well, you might not build it in one day or three but you can take small action steps that will actualize your dream. Ever since I was a kid, I was made to understand that Rome was not built in a day. Certainly, there is no point, in cancelling or postponing a mega project in your life on the assumption that there is no time.
Time is money, it is of value and essence and we can manage it well if we want to. Take an example of this guy by the name John, who wants to do onion farming. He is aware that onion take 5 months from seeds to a mature onion bulb. Therefore, instead of throwing the idea under the bridge because of the 5 months it will take for him to make returns; John prefers to take small action steps that will one day give him the capacity to run his own commercial farm. He embarks on seed bed preparation on day 1, planting of seeds and covering of the seed bed with shed on day 3,Routine management practices 2 weeks later. His friends would see this as tedious, tiresome and told him to look for a white collar job in the city. John would never listen to their persuasion. Four months down the line, John was looking forward to reap a bumper harvest of onions and smile all the way to the bank.
You better walk baby!!
6.Avoid Indecision.
Every day in our lives we are confronted with multiple choices that we must make the right decision upon. Should you take the route towards the railway or go via the bypass. Are you going by public means or taxi?
Unfortunately, when confronted with major life decisions, many are mentally unprepared to decide. On the contrary,one would rather make a wrong decision than make no decision at all.
Napoleon Hill, in his best seller, Think and Grow Rich lists indecision as one of the major causes of failure in life. He argues that successful people arrive at decisions very fast and change them very slowly, the opposite is true with average individuals.
Indecision leads to procrastination since not being able to decide on anything means postponing whatever you were meant to do into the infinite future.
Falling on wrong decisions is the way to go for you will later stand up with the right decisions
7.Love What You Must Do
Bill Gates, is listed by Forbes magazine as the world richest man with a net worth of US$89 billion. He dropped out of Harvard University to pursue his tech. dream of Microsoft. The rest as we know is history.
Prior to his drop out , Bill Gates once narrated how he used to be a lousy student who did last minute assignments when the deadline was just around the corner. However, he learnt the hard way that things cannot work that way in business.
To be able to beat procrastination and it’s power over you, understand that it is important to love what you must do.
Early mornings, always present us with an opportunity for prayer, meditation, devotions or something positive..However some would rather wake up with the news bulletin.
If employed, it is your responsibility to report to work for 9 hours beginning 8 a.m to 5 p.m depending on your terms of service. Unfortunately, many do not love their jobs and would rather take feigned sick offs, skive important company meetings to go rest or engage in other activities. Love what you must do.
James Karagu, commonly known in close circles as Jemo, is a recent graduate from an institution of higher learning in Kenya; having pursued BSc. Statistics. Before finishing college and graduating James was upbeat about getting a job and being a respected man in society. Apparently, back then in campus, he was dating a beautiful woman from central Kenya by the nickname shiro. They were looking forward to get married immediately they completed their studies.
After their graduation, the two love birds parted ways with full of promises to one another to keep in touch and always make a point of meeting often. His girlfriend Shiro studied Journalism and Mass communication and looked forward to be a journalist with a reputable media company.
Jemo left for the city, Nairobi while Shiro left for central Kenya in Nyeri. However, after graduation and the joy of finishing school, all was not rosy as they had both anticipated. On arriving in the city, James settled at a friend’s place that was kind enough to accommodate him. His friend had finished college two years earlier and was making quite some good money in the city out of hawking. The money he earned could pay his rent, buy food and pay bills and afford extra coins to save and also sent to his mama upcountry.
Surprisingly, James friend, had studied Biochemistry back in college; but after “tarmacking” and job-hunting for one and half years, he resolved to be his own boss and give self-employment a try. Lucky for James, he had a friend who could shelter him as he went about in search of jobs. Every morning, James would wake up as early as 6.am but not as early as his friend who wakes up at 5 am to go about his business.
James would wake up, take a shower, neatly press his shirt and trouser and add on a blue tie compounded with shiny black shoes and head out in such of a job. He had drafted a mind- blowing CV, prepared academic certificates and any other arsenal that would sell him to the highest bidder.
On the other hand, her girlfriend Shiro, had tried her luck too in getting a job. Lucky for her, she secured a well-paying internship with a local radio station in Nyeri.They kept in touch with James as two people who love one another usually do.
On the contrary, James was getting frustrated by the day. Some of his job applications went unanswered, and the future looked gloom and dark. His close friend was also beginning to feel the heat of hosting a jobless graduate.
One Monday morning, instead of heading out for the routine job- hunting, James chose to sit around and reflect upon his actions. He pondered at length whether searching for a job was worthwhile given the high number of graduates who were also hunting for jobs. He looked at his close friend and realized he was not formally employed with a white collar job and salary yet could make ends meet. James realized in that moment of reflection, a job was simply a temporal solution to a permanent problem. He needed to do something quick and fast going forward to be economically viable. A torrent of ideas started flowing into Jame’s head. Instantly and simultaneously, he thought of hawking, car washing, freelancing, blogging, mitumba (second-hand clothes) business.
After much deliberation, James opted to run a blog, given he had a laptop and could afford bundles for internet connection. However, that was never to start soon since James faced quite a number of options to prioritize from. Firstly, a financial firm had offered him a job with a pay little less than what his hawker friend was taking home (ksh.35,000).The firm promised him room for career development, allowances and other benefits.
Secondly, his girlfriend from campus was getting restless and wanted James to make up his mind whether they were wasting time together in the name of love or what James was thinking about. Thirdly, an uncle of James back in the village had called him, and he wanted James to travel upcountry so that he could work as a cashier in his mini-supermarket. These options all presented themselves to John at the same time frame. It became quite difficult for John to know what path he should follow.
When his hawker friend, arrived back at home from an exhaustive working day, he found his friend James, frustrated and confused. James was spoilt for choice and did not know what was best for him.
Nevertheless, his friend was always there for him when he needed a sense of direction. James friend advised him to choose what was best for him at the time. In other words, James was told to put his priorities right. The conversation from the two men went for hours on end amidst short call breaks and water sippage to quench dry throats.
Unfortunately many graduates in Kenya today are in no position to make choices they wish they could make but only take what is given.
On the contrary, all is not lost for young Kenyan graduates because James friend is a shining star against high rates of unemployment in Kenya today.
