Motivation Parlour

Tag: teenagers

5 Financial Lessons to Teenagers
Growing up as a child is fun and full of fond memories that travel years back to when we were just teenagers.
Children are known to be playful, adventurous and mischievous. They can go the extra mile in pursuit of that thing that will give them joy and pleasure, including swimming naked in a crocodile-infested river.
However, that is not what I want to talk about today. I want to talk about what money was like to you during childhood. A child or young teenager rarely thinks about money, first because they live comfortably (it could also be uncomfortable) with their parents who provide, have no financial obligations to anybody, and are told to study hard in school.
The subject of money between teens and their parents is hardly talked about.
Most of these subjects, when mentioned by teens, most parents usually reprimand them or for instance, ask them what they want money for. Nevertheless, it is written in the good books that train a child how he should go and will not depart from it.
Most parents shy from the subject of sex in most homes and do not want their children or teens to talk about money either with the assumption that they will love money and not study hard in school. How wrong!!
As such, we grow up with sketchy and shallow financial knowledge. We learn about saving and investing in our 20’s when years have already flown by.
Against this backdrop, I want to mention 5 things your parent never told you and should have told you as a teenager.
1. Have Financial Discpline
As a child and teenager, you were always reprimanded and whacked for indiscipline and petty mistakes like failing to follow instructions, noise-making, stealing food, fighting e.t.c
You did all these and were caned because your parent, guardian or teacher loved you and wanted to instill discipline in you.
However, there is a discipline that many parents usually forget to instill in their children; that is financial discipline. Every time we would hear about money as teenagers were when we were sent to the shops to buy bread.
Unfortunately, most of our parents were under tough financial burdens and were not themselves happy either to talk about money.
Subsequently, one grows up to be a good, law-abiding citizen espousing the highest form of integrity and honor. On the other hand, this law-abiding citizen is a reckless spender with no savings or investment.
This citizen ends up struggling financially simply because no financial virtues of living below your means, saving and investing were ever instilled in him.
King Solomon wrote in Proverbs 21:20 that he who sets money aside daily saves big money in the long run, but a foolish man spends up everything. Lack of setting aside 10% of our income to save for the future has led to many facing financial walls and struggling with life due to a lack of a cushion to fall back on.
Secondly, no savings and no investments. Your savings are able to save you on a rainy day, help you start a business or clear a loan.
2. Learn to Say No
Parents love their children and want the best for them; therefore, parents protect, guide and provide for their children. They tell them what is considered good behavior and bad.
Most parents discourage their children from eating in neighbors’ homes; tell them to say no to strangers and bad company.
Despite their willingness to give better, parents fall short of telling their kids to say no to activities and behaviors that will darken their financial future, such as gambling, alcoholism and casual teen sex.
Activities such as this will end up enslaving teenagers to behaviors that will or might render them broke, addicted and sick.
As such, teenagers must be made to understand what is good, what is bad and what is morally acceptable.
This puts them in a good position to rationalize issues, make informed decisions about anything they want, and say no to whatever is bad and destructive.
3. Do Not Love Sleep and Pleasure
Sleep and pleasure are two surefire ways of staying broke and begging. Anyone who has chosen to live above his means because of pleasure does not have the future in mind but only the present.
The wise in Proverbs 6:5 writes that sluggards should learn from the ants, consider their ways, and they will be wise. Punctuality is an important habit for success.
Pleasure takes or comes in many forms, including drinking and partying, lying idle, buying expensive shoes and clothing, going for tours, site seeing and vacations to your dream destination.
However, too much of something is poisonous. Even billionaires go on vacation once in a while, but the rest of the time, they are busy sowing wood.
Teenagers with lazy parents learn from what they see and hear and pick the cues from their parents.
Sleep was only made to be understood as a tool for rest and not an enemy of success.
6 hours are recommended as the minimum a normal human being can rest. Too much sleep kills productivity and prevents one from making financial progress.
King Solomon says, a little closing of your eyes and folding your arms and poverty will attack like an armed robber. This Christian verse conveys the message that riches and sleep do not go hand in hand.
4. Walk with People of Substance
Bill Gates had a Paul Allen; Steve Jobs had a Tim Cook. In life, every single one of us is on a life journey. Destiny is in our own hands, and our daily choices shape destiny.
What you eat today, friends you have, books you read, and whatever you hear and listen to ultimately determine where you will be 5-10 years later.
Walker used to walk with a pastor friend who had another pastor friend. 7 years later, Walker became a powerful church minister and is now ordained as a bishop within the church denomination.
Here is a story you want to hear about,
27-year-old Martha is a law graduate. She intends to get married to Amos, an accountant. However, Martha’s friends are mostly in their 30’s and most of them are single and divorced. They say a thing like “men are dogs,” “I cannot be a housewife,” and “marriage is terrible.”
It was not long before Martha broke up with her handsome boyfriend and started singing the same tune as her friends.
2 years later, Amos was married with a kid, while Martha was still single and whining.
Birds of the same feather flock together. Who is your best friend?? If all friends you know are losers in one way or another, you would rather walk alone.
5. Have a Mentor
Rather than learn from mistakes in your own life, it is prudent to learn from the mistakes of those who have lived ahead of you.
A mentor is not your biological dad or mum (they could also be); he is like a living parent to you. He guides and takes you through the stages of life with a lot of counsel, wisdom and understanding whenever you fall.
For us to avoid the many traps and ensnares set before us in our finances, career, relationships and life at large, we need a life coach to see us through.
Our parents never talked about mentors in our lives, but as one grows into a young adult, life becomes ridden with puzzles that call for wise counsel. In life, it is always important to get good advice from others.
Add any other thing not mentioned that our parents never told us as teenagers and leave a comment.
STAY ON TOP!!!
04/08/2022
Teenage Attitude and Behaviour: How to Parent them in the Right Way
Parenting growing kids is demanding because of the ever-dynamic teenage attitude and behaviour. It’s not a surprise that most parents fear their kids’ teenage years. It’s always a time of intense growth in their lives. They are growing physically, intellectually, and emotionally.
That makes them more curious. Your teen now has the increasing desire to be addressed as an adult.
They make decisions that will define the relationship between themselves and their teens. As a parent, it may reach a point whereby you feel like your teens reject your influence.
Your teen is still the same toddler you nursed. They are now trying to be more articulate, idealistic, and thoughtful. Given the right guidance, teens should make you proud as their a parent.
Increase your Revenue
So, worry not if your family seems to fall apart. This article will help you find applicable ways to parent teenagers in the best way possible.
Signs your Kid has grown into a Teenager
Maybe you are at a loss as a parent identifying your kid as a teenager. You are not alone. Many parents find themselves in this melee.
Years alone may not help as kids go through different growth spurts. In children, you will find speedy developers and those growing slowly but steadily.
Some key signs that will help you identify your kids are transitioning from being a child to a teen include:
Sexual Characteristics
- Facial hair
- Pubic hair
- Growing breasts
- Menstrual periods
Behavioral Characteristics
- Desire to be independent
- They want to be decision-makers
- Loathe you addressing them as kids
- Are aware of other people’s opinions of them
- Seek identity and a sense of belonging
So how should you handle teenage attitude and behavior in your teens? We give you a 10-point guide on how you can make your teenage parenting effective.

1. Understand What they Need
The teenager is no longer your child whom you would cuddle all the time. They have developed and are almost becoming adults.
They are probably becoming different from what you knew them to be. It won’t mean that you will have to stop caring about them. Have frequent talks about what they need most.
This will enhance a strong relationship between the parent and the teenager.
2. In Parenting Teenagers, Prove to them you Love them
A teenager may develop an ego during the first stages of adolescence. By doing so, your kid may seem like a rebellious teenager at some point; hence some parents feel like giving up.
As a parent, you need to ensure that there is enough evidence to prove that you love your son or daughter. First, it does not matter whether you give him or her money.
Money does not solve any problems. Take some time off with your teenage child. You can opt for road trips or anything to enhance the bondage between the parent and the teenager.
Through all these, the teenager will grow up to become a respectable person in the community.
3. Know More About their Friends
As youngsters grow up, they always have time to make new friends. Some of these friends will make a major difference in how your son behaves. This will help a great deal in studying your teenage attitude and behaviour.
Despite this, while knowing their friends, do not be too nosy. As a parent, there is that overprotective feeling of handling your child.
You can host a party and tell him to invite some of his friends. By doing so, you will have made a big achievement in knowing their friends.
It will also enable you to guide him about his company. As they say, never judge a book by its cover, so don’t be too overprotective. Parenting teenagers is a skill that needs learning.
4. Have a Reinforced Standard Within the Teen
Children are never born knowing what is right or wrong. As the child turns into a teenager, he slightly bends the rules that you as a parent has set.
This will make you feel troubled and somehow stressed. If it comes to this point, ensure to remind them of what you taught them at a young age. You need to tame bad teenage attitudes and behavior from an early age.
Also, give practical reasons why there are boundaries. Do not be afraid that you may seem strict.
In the end, the teenager will thank you for your tireless efforts to raise him appropriately.
Increase your Revenue
5. Always Listen to their Queries or Needs
Fewer adults respect or listen to their teens. Many of them think they will get over that stage just like how they managed.
Sadly, this destroys the emotional character of the teenage child. The child will feel more of a burden to the parent or guardian.
Your teenage son or daughter might seek advice from other people who may mislead them.
Advice from unknown persons could ruin a healthy relationship with your teenager. Always listen to what your teenager wants to discuss with you.
It helps to create a better mutual understanding and stronger bonds.
6. Offer your Wisdom regarding when you were a Teenager
Being a parent, you have had several encounters as a teenager, some of which may be impressive or not.
In line with that, you automatically gained the gift of wisdom since you are no longer a teenager.
Give this wisdom to your child and it will make a positive impact on his or her teenage life.
This could just be the antidote you need to manage a teenage attitude and behaviour in your teen. It will also make parenting teenagers a lot easier.
7. Guide them to Stay Focused
This is one of the crucial parts to consider when raising a teenager. Guide them to balance enjoying the fun within adolescence.
At the same time, prepare them for the future. Your teenager could forget the consequences of their current choices, which could cost them the future.
Ensure that they are not always focusing on football games or prom.
8. Do not Always Talk to Your Teens
Your teenager will always receive lectures from several adults.
Many of these adults care more about their agenda rather than a teenager. This is very exhausting for kids, making them not trust adults, including parents.
Avoid much too many lectures on your teens. When giving lectures or bits of advice, always address them as adults. Remember to keep things clear and straight to the point.
9. Take Away Some Privileges
You should always note that teenagers need you in their lives and not on their terms and conditions.
Take away some privileges like going to events, gaming, and many more if they seem to develop an ego. This is part of the process of handling your kid’s teenage attitude and behaviour.
This applies to some extreme cases whereby the teenager is very stubborn. It will definitely help to bring him back on track.
10. Reward Increasing Maturity
Reward your teen accordingly if he seems to portray patterns of maturity. You could reward them by increasing their freedom.
You could also give them an extra tip on the allowance and many more. It will also make the teenager trust you more and be more responsible.
Final Thoughts
That being said, raising a teenager can be demanding if you do not know how to go about it. You should know that your kid is undergoing a lot of teenage attitude and behaviour change
Yet, if you follow these tips, your child could become the epitome of being mature and responsible.
So, if your child is just getting into teenagehood, you now know how to handle them best.
27/02/2022
Chronicles of a Sunday School Teacher
It is enjoyable to be some kind of teacher. How about being a Sunday school teacher?
Whether a teacher in school, church, or lecture halls, hundreds and thousands of kids are paying keen attention to you.
They are eager to know whether the content they are listening to is worth their time and adds value to their life.
Here is a friend of mine who is a Sunday school teacher. He spends much of his time coaching high school students with classwork.
He also mentors them with God’s word and is more passionate about sharing it with children.
Doesn’t the Bible talk about Jesus Christ exhorting his listeners to allow young children to come to him?
As a youth leader and an aspiring parent, we have shared a lot with Dave on parenting and the pertinent issues affecting children, teens, and youth.
Parents today are digital and raising their kids in a digital world. Now, this is not wrong per se. Parents are facing myriad challenges stemming from the age of technology and growing social media influence.
Given his penchant for spending time with kids, my best friend got an invitation to attend his niece’s birthday.
With the festive season at hand, no one will say no to such invitations. Don’t people want to make merry and capture excellent memories?
As usual, friends, colleagues, and families converged at the party to celebrate another year of a young one on earth.
As I would like to call him, Dave has been to parties before but did not expect a party with liquor in the presence of kids.
That being said, the party was wow, to say the least.
Just at that point, when drinks were being served, the waitress handed David a bottle of liquor. Hahaha.
The staunch Christian in him could not allow him to say yes to the offer.
Even though given as a kind gesture from the host, this was obviously uncomfortable to somebody who doesn’t take liquor.
What I found funny is how other guests at the party wondered about the choice of his drinks. Hahaha.
Personally, I was a teetotaller two years ago, never to taste any alcoholic beverage again. I would have politely declined the offer if in Dave’s shoes.
However, I can attest to the fact that alcoholic drinkers find it rather odd if they meet someone at a party function who doesn’t drink alcohol, let alone taste it.
While Dave sat comfortably with his bottle of water, people kept asking him: “Are you sure you are okay?” Hahaha.
He was okay, but people, especially Kenyans, do not want to believe somebody can drink something different apart from liquor at a party.
I mean, who said one must party with liquor? Kenyans (not all, for that matter), unfortunately, have a soft spot for alcohol, and they deem a party incomplete without it.
However, our greatest concern here wasn’t about the party makers taking alcohol but the fact that they were doing it in front of their kids.
However, our greatest concern here wasn’t about the party makers taking alcohol but the fact that they were doing it in front of their kids.
Worse yet, they could send their kids to bring them more alcohol from the fridge.
Ugly Parenting Patterns
Common wisdom denotes that kids won’t pay attention to what you tell them but to what you do.
As noted by my buddy Sunday school teacher, parenting reared its ugly head rather vividly at the function going by the different behaviors exhibited by the kids.
Notably, when the cake was being cut, kids swam into action wanting a bite and to cut the cake simultaneously.
On the other hand, this group of kids watched from a distance, waiting eagerly for someone to serve them.
Evidently, the way these kids behaved goes back to how their parents nurtured and handled them at home.
Just as charity begins at home. Disciplining your child starts at home before you send them to Sunday school or the 8.4.4 education system.
I have lived with young parents whose kids are spoilt brats. They dismiss even the gravest of mistakes with a simple, “I will whip you,” and that is it.
Such kids have no respect for adults and visitors in their homes. They will jump on the sofa around you, snatch your phone and hit you unexpectedly. Owe unto you if you wear spectacles. I had to replace mine recently because of such an ordeal.
In all these, they expect you to do nothing lest you fall short of the discipline code in their home.
It’s even more annoying when they are doing this to you in front of their parents, who don’t care about your ordeal at all.
The only option left is to play along and pretend you are comfortable.
One interesting thing Dave noted was also the health of these young kids. Kids fed on junk food often appeared weaker as compared to kids who fed on carbohydrates and protein diets.
Methinks parents should call the shorts on what their kids should be eating. Snacks are good for kids once in a while, but rarely.
However much he/she always screams for that ice cream displayed at the shops, we must make an effort to wean them from consuming junk food.
As we enjoy the festive season, let’s remember to be wonderful parents and custodians to our young ones.
If we give the freedom of their desires at a young age, we will have to contend with raising rebellious teenagers. This is because there was a twist already in their upbringing we didn’t want to address.
Successful parenting to all parents and aspiring parents in 2020!
25/12/2018
How to Overcome Negative Peer Pressure
Is your teen struggling with peer pressure lately? It happens and it’s vital that you support your teenager in coping with peer influence. Peer pressure is when your teenager does what they wouldn’t do in order to fit in or be accepted and valued by their friends. Peer influence could be positive or negative. If your teenager is being influenced positively, that’s good for you but things could go south if your teenager gets influenced by negative peer influence.
Peer Group
Image courtesy | A diverse group of students smile as they discuss the study material on the table in front of them.
As is commonly known, peers are people of the same age, same interests, or social status. Peers hang out together, go to watch a football match together, and spend a lot of time with one another.
Your teenage behaviors and characters are shaped by the people they spend the most part of their time with. These people are none other than our peers.
Peer Pressure Amongst Teenagers
Peer pressure usually kicks off in the teenage years. By the time, one is a youth; their character is already shaped and built by the people he used to hang out with when he was still a teenager. Ultimately, as a young adult, a person picks on the mannerisms or characters of the people he or she works with or his informal group.
Therefore, it is important to know that peer pressure is real. We cannot run away from peers in our lives, however, we should be careful about the kind of pressure that our peers might exert on us to do something.
For instance, you might be non-alcoholic but your peers have no qualms about using strong drinks. As such, they will impart pressure on their peer who does not drink into joining them for a drink. Conversely, a devoted Christian young man would put pressure on his peer who is a drug addict to accompany him to church to worship God.
Peer Pressure Amongst Adults
Nonetheless, regardless of gender or age, we cannot run away from peer pressure in our lives. Mildred sits in a self-help group where every member of the group drives a car except her. Mildred, therefore, decides to take a bank loan against her wish to buy herself the latest BMW to suit her group.
Still, down the streets, you hear such talks as “everybody is doing it nowadays”, “Kickbacks are obvious, people in government take them I don’t mind taking them too”.
Peer pressure is a powerful force that influences our lives and we need to say no to it especially when it is negative peer pressure.
Daniel is a biblical character who lived an outstanding Christian life despite living and working with people who did not worship Jehovah.
Serving in the royal courts of king Nebuchadnezzar back then, Daniel and his three friends refused to feast on the royal food that contained meat from ceremonially unclean animals.
Even when other Jewish inhabitants had conformed to the Babylonian gods, Daniel and his three friends resolved not to be defiled (full story in Daniel chapter 1).
There are a number of factors affecting the 21st-century teenager and youth such as
1. External Influence.
As mentioned earlier, peer pressure could be both positive and negative. With respect to negative peer pressure, an individual is faced with influences that go against his wish and personal values.
In today’s high-tech life, the youths have become highly tech-savvy and therefore spend most of the time glued to their smart gadgets. This denies them the chance to spend time and interact with adults who would otherwise correct them when they misbehave or go wrong.
On the other hand, smartphones come with all manner of content that the youths feed on without guidance from their parents, guardians, or pastors.
Content such as drugs, devil worship, and sexting influences the youth negatively. The media has also a great influence on how the present-day youth behave.
2. Internal Influence
Youth with low self-esteem are most likely to be influenced by the opinions, attitudes, and perceptions of their peers more than their parents.
This is because the youth always sees themselves as unattractive, unpopular, and unintelligent which makes them more vulnerable to peer pressure.
Ultimately, this young man sinks deep into negative social influences apparently because of a lack of healthy friend associations and spiritual guidance.
Dire consequences of negative peer pressure are right in front of our eyes as evidently seen in violence amongst young people, drug addiction, car accidents, early pregnancies, and abortions.
Overcoming Negative Peer Pressure
Youths and persons of any age can learn to overcome negative peer pressure by
• Saying a polite no without hurting or offending others.
The Bible gives a perfect, clear example of politely saying no through the story of Joseph and Potiphar’s wife. He politely said no to the sexual advances of her master’s wife.
• Avoiding the source
Joseph had to stay away from Potiphar’s wife in order to avoid the temptation that waylaid him.
Many times in our lives we want to do the right things but we stay in the company of the wrong people.
You do not seek marriage advice from a divorcee. In the same way, you do not seek financial advice from a broke person because he will mention to you all the reasons why you cannot make money.
• Fleeing from the source
After repeated nags from Potiphar’s wife unto Joseph to indulge in an illicit affair, Joseph had but only one option; to flee from the source.
At times fleeing might cost us our friends but then, there is no point in sacrificing your bright future for an individual who is leading you to a gutter.
• Being prepared to pay the price
After standing his ground against Potiphar’s wife, Joseph ultimately found himself in prison for crimes he had not committed.
In overcoming negative peer pressure, we might pay the price in one way or another by losing our friends, and false accusations but it is worth it because, in the end, you will be healthier, wiser, and stronger.
• Parent’s Teaching
Parents should teach their young children at an early age to make rational decisions. They should constantly approve and disapprove of the kind of friendships their children entertain. Parents should mold their teenagers into making the right choices in life. On the other hand, children should be free to share the kind of friends they have with their parents.
• Choosing their friends wisely
Friendship with an angry man makes one an angry person too. Youth and teenagers should choose friends that reflect their deepest values and qualities and shun young people that project vice.
• Refusing to be fooled by moral relativism
This is an attitude that says am okay, you are okay, no matter what we think and do as long as it does not hurt the other person.
How WRONG! Whatever we do affects others directly or indirectly. If I play music in my home theatre at the highest volume, yes, it is cool but to my nearest neighbor that would be noise and a breach of environmental laws.
Having this kind of attitude weakens our resolve to be moral and mind others, however, if we focus on building our character by watching and reading what has the ability to influence us positively, life will be better.
Last Word
If your teenager or youth is struggling with peer pressure, not all is lost and they aren’t alone. Most people succumb to peer pressure because of the fear of rejection and the need to be accepted.
As such, because of their insecurity, they fall victim to manipulation from their peers and are influenced negatively. Nevertheless, we should always be bold and stand up for what we believe in. Resist and overcome negative peer pressure.
12/07/2017