Motivation Parlour

Tag: youths

Facts You Should Know About Dating
I have occasionally attended youth retreats for schools, churches, and colleges, and whenever the topic of dating comes up, there is usually a wave of excitement that fills the air.
Why this topic creates a lot of excitement in young men and women beats understanding. Interestingly, I realize that three key things can greatly make people excited and curious.
These things are namely: food, love, and money. You will agree with me that I am 100% damn right on this.
It is important for youths to understand that dating involves matters of the heart and that they shall approach it with uttermost respect and the attention it deserves. Unfortunately, very few would care to learn about the fundamentals of dating.
Conversely, they will learn about dating through a hands-on approach. Do not get me wrong; I am not being judgmental. Besides experimenting with dating, they will also pick one or two clues from romantic movies and make them a reality.
However, it is better to make things right in the first place than be sorry later.
Let us get to the core of things by talking more about dating. Dating is defined as a consistent appointment between two people of the opposite sex (though I am meant to understand that there is dating of same-sex nowadays) to know more about each other by assessing each other’s suitability for marriage.
That said, note that there are two types of dating, namely:
- One on One Dating and
- Group dating
One on one dating involves two single people going out on a date and spending time together to know more about each other. On the other hand, group dating involves a clique of single men, women organizing, and going out on a date with the aim of forming ties for a romantic relationship that will lead to marriage.
Definitions aside, problems begin when Jacob, a church choir member, sees both Nancy and Mercy. Oooh My! You do not want to be caught up in that mess. It feels heroic when Jacob knows that he can comfortably oscillate between two women.
However, trouble begins when one day, Nancy picks up Jacob’s phone. Incidentally, a message pops into the text box from a contact saved us msee wa makaa (charcoal seller). I see no problem with that.
Everything is perfectly fine until Nancy is tempted to scroll the phone and open the text box. Wololo! I am not a Maraga, but I can tell you freely that this will be a tough petition to be heard by I do not know whom.
The content of the text message reads like “Bae unafanya? Nakufeel tu sana…” (what are you up to baby?..feeling you so much)
Such like the above scenario are common to many reading this post. Most young men and women can relate to the story with laughter-filled mouths, probably because they heard about it somewhere or they were the villain themselves, breaking somebody’s heart in the process.
We need to understand that when it comes to dating, there are three groups of daters.
- Never Daters
They are hardly seen with women and do not date at all.
- Ever Daters
They are always dating different women at different times. You will never hear of them being single but go through breakups occasionally.
- Healthy Daters
They date one partner at a particular period.
Most importantly, let us accept the fact that marriage was created and ordained by God. As such, God will only approve a relationship that gives glory and honor to him. Unfortunately, some youths I know of have trivialized the bible as an archaic book with no moral authority to dictate how they should live.
Sadly, they have made movie stars (superficial characters that do not live the life they portray on television) their heroes. This is not to say that movie stars are bad people. In the meantime, click here for successful tips on dating.
This post is a dedication to all the single young men and women hoping to date someday.
Kindly read, share and leave a comment. You might bless a soul somewhere.
02/09/2017
5 Amazing Ways to Overcome Sky-rocketing Unemployment Levels.
https://pixabay.com/en/to-reach-looking-career-job-sun-2697951/

Yesterday, I slept quite late after overworking myself mercilessly with advanced excel formulas. Well, I hit the pass mark for the course anyway so I slept soundly like a well-fed cat. It is 2 years down the line since most of my peers and I finished college. Some opted to join missionary schools and give their lives to serving Christ. Some chose to work as teachers but not under the Teachers Suffering Center (T.S.C).Fate led them to the Board of Governors in individual secondary schools. By the way, I have lost count of my family members who are in the teaching profession. I highly commend them for the good work they are doing in giving a brighter future to our kids through education and training.
Others opted to go in search of online jobs. Lucky for some, their skills sold them to the highest bidder at a time when the freelancing industry was not yet competitive and had not been dominated by below standard writers. For some, they retreated to their hometowns and set up businesses. Unfortunately, for many who had not done business before, the chances of their businesses staying afloat was 0.00 and there was not much they could do to salvage their businesses because of financial constraints and lack of collateral to borrow bank loans.
Am yet to come across, those who have joined politics in this campaign season that will see Kenyans head to the ballot on the eighth of August. However, a few turned out to be a little mysterious by the fact that life appeared to be figured out for them yet one could not tell what business they run or form of employment they are in.
Finally, there is this last group of few individuals who chose to be scholars. Despite the numerous C.A.T.S, assignments, exams and final project one is subjected to for his undergraduate degree, they did not think of rest or finding work but slipped right away into Master Programmes.
After college, there were few phone calls wired to and fro; friends and former classmates calling and checking on one another. Interestingly, as the years went by the number of phone calls I have received personally have reduced and turned into occasionally “hi” text messages.
For the lovebirds on campus, am sorry to say their lovely and warm romantic lives faded into thin air after the fare thee well message from the chancellor. A few relationships survived the dynamics that came with finishing campus such as having to move from your hometown in search of a job in the city. Few relationships survived the economic hard times that come with finding a job for a graduate in Kenya.
It is actually frightening and discouraging when you meet a young man who finished college 3-5 years ago still struggling to make ends meet. He will not talk about marriage unless you mention it. Few a lucky to have their girlfriends by their side even when they have no stable source of income.
Despite the biting and harsh reality that meets graduate after college, not all is lost for the educated youth in Kenya. Many have been successful and are continuing to be successful by stretching beyond their limits through persistence and determination.
As you wait for that big dream job, here is a list of constructive activities you could do to make a difference in your life:
1. Enrolling for a tertiary course
A degree is a percentage of knowledge the world has that confines you to a particular field or profession. One has to be exemplary good at what he chooses to specialize in, in order to sell out. One good way of building your career is by enrolling and sitting for professional exams, enrolling in other short courses related to your major or can add value to your skill base. Time waits for no man, thesooner you identify a course the better.I am currently pursuing an online free course on Coursera. I have already earned my module 1 certificate for Business Metrics for Data-Driven Companies.I have just moved into my next module under Excel to MySQL analytic techniques for Business Specialization. Your given skill in writing, data analysis or graphic design could be monetized with persistence and determination to make you a better person financially.
1. Network Marketing
In spite of the venture being received negatively in some quarters, a number of educated youths are making money by selling products such as weight losing tablets, skin care creams and other supplements that sustain and manage one’s health and diet respectively. The concept behind Network Marketing involves selling a particular product to a willing buyer and introducing them into the trade. The buyer X enters into the network marketing chain under you the seller, opens an account with the network marketing company and hits the ground running by selling the same products and building a network of individuals under them called a team. Every individual on the chain earns money form his or her team members. The bigger your team and the more sales they make the more the money you earn.
3. Online Jobs
“It is tiresome, brain-draining and energy-sapping,” my brother once mentioned this to me about academic writing. However, many youths, have opted into this venture rather than wear out their soles in search of unavailable low paying jobs. The few, I have talked to says it pays quite well in between ksh7000-10000 per week during peak seasons.
1. Second-hand (Mitumba) Business
Not popular businesses for a degree holder but many youths have found a source of livelihood here. They sell an assortment of second-hand clothes including jeans, trousers, t-shirts, hooded jumpers, singlets and vests. No one can do without clothes. However, one needs to be careful with their display location as putting your stall or boutique where there is no human traffic might make you go hungry. One also needs to sell a variety of men and women second-hand clothes and not just border on one type of clothes such as t-shirts. One also needs to replenish his stock weekly to avoid customers losing their taste because of coming across the same pieces of clothes over and over.
1. Hawking
With hawking, one can be sure of no less than Ksh.200 in their pocket daily. Hawking can be done on virtually any commodity including shoes, pens, snacks, pieces of clothing, foodstuffs. All said, this is another rare venture for graduates yet it can eke them a living as they wait for the big job to come by. (more…)
27/07/2017
How to Overcome Negative Peer Pressure
Is your teen struggling with peer pressure lately? It happens and it’s vital that you support your teenager in coping with peer influence. Peer pressure is when your teenager does what they wouldn’t do in order to fit in or be accepted and valued by their friends. Peer influence could be positive or negative. If your teenager is being influenced positively, that’s good for you but things could go south if your teenager gets influenced by negative peer influence.
Peer Group
Image courtesy | A diverse group of students smile as they discuss the study material on the table in front of them.
As is commonly known, peers are people of the same age, same interests, or social status. Peers hang out together, go to watch a football match together, and spend a lot of time with one another.
Your teenage behaviors and characters are shaped by the people they spend the most part of their time with. These people are none other than our peers.
Peer Pressure Amongst Teenagers
Peer pressure usually kicks off in the teenage years. By the time, one is a youth; their character is already shaped and built by the people he used to hang out with when he was still a teenager. Ultimately, as a young adult, a person picks on the mannerisms or characters of the people he or she works with or his informal group.
Therefore, it is important to know that peer pressure is real. We cannot run away from peers in our lives, however, we should be careful about the kind of pressure that our peers might exert on us to do something.
For instance, you might be non-alcoholic but your peers have no qualms about using strong drinks. As such, they will impart pressure on their peer who does not drink into joining them for a drink. Conversely, a devoted Christian young man would put pressure on his peer who is a drug addict to accompany him to church to worship God.
Peer Pressure Amongst Adults
Nonetheless, regardless of gender or age, we cannot run away from peer pressure in our lives. Mildred sits in a self-help group where every member of the group drives a car except her. Mildred, therefore, decides to take a bank loan against her wish to buy herself the latest BMW to suit her group.
Still, down the streets, you hear such talks as “everybody is doing it nowadays”, “Kickbacks are obvious, people in government take them I don’t mind taking them too”.
Peer pressure is a powerful force that influences our lives and we need to say no to it especially when it is negative peer pressure.
Daniel is a biblical character who lived an outstanding Christian life despite living and working with people who did not worship Jehovah.
Serving in the royal courts of king Nebuchadnezzar back then, Daniel and his three friends refused to feast on the royal food that contained meat from ceremonially unclean animals.
Even when other Jewish inhabitants had conformed to the Babylonian gods, Daniel and his three friends resolved not to be defiled (full story in Daniel chapter 1).
There are a number of factors affecting the 21st-century teenager and youth such as
1. External Influence.
As mentioned earlier, peer pressure could be both positive and negative. With respect to negative peer pressure, an individual is faced with influences that go against his wish and personal values.
In today’s high-tech life, the youths have become highly tech-savvy and therefore spend most of the time glued to their smart gadgets. This denies them the chance to spend time and interact with adults who would otherwise correct them when they misbehave or go wrong.
On the other hand, smartphones come with all manner of content that the youths feed on without guidance from their parents, guardians, or pastors.
Content such as drugs, devil worship, and sexting influences the youth negatively. The media has also a great influence on how the present-day youth behave.
2. Internal Influence
Youth with low self-esteem are most likely to be influenced by the opinions, attitudes, and perceptions of their peers more than their parents.
This is because the youth always sees themselves as unattractive, unpopular, and unintelligent which makes them more vulnerable to peer pressure.
Ultimately, this young man sinks deep into negative social influences apparently because of a lack of healthy friend associations and spiritual guidance.
Dire consequences of negative peer pressure are right in front of our eyes as evidently seen in violence amongst young people, drug addiction, car accidents, early pregnancies, and abortions.
Overcoming Negative Peer Pressure
Youths and persons of any age can learn to overcome negative peer pressure by
• Saying a polite no without hurting or offending others.
The Bible gives a perfect, clear example of politely saying no through the story of Joseph and Potiphar’s wife. He politely said no to the sexual advances of her master’s wife.
• Avoiding the source
Joseph had to stay away from Potiphar’s wife in order to avoid the temptation that waylaid him.
Many times in our lives we want to do the right things but we stay in the company of the wrong people.
You do not seek marriage advice from a divorcee. In the same way, you do not seek financial advice from a broke person because he will mention to you all the reasons why you cannot make money.
• Fleeing from the source
After repeated nags from Potiphar’s wife unto Joseph to indulge in an illicit affair, Joseph had but only one option; to flee from the source.
At times fleeing might cost us our friends but then, there is no point in sacrificing your bright future for an individual who is leading you to a gutter.
• Being prepared to pay the price
After standing his ground against Potiphar’s wife, Joseph ultimately found himself in prison for crimes he had not committed.
In overcoming negative peer pressure, we might pay the price in one way or another by losing our friends, and false accusations but it is worth it because, in the end, you will be healthier, wiser, and stronger.
• Parent’s Teaching
Parents should teach their young children at an early age to make rational decisions. They should constantly approve and disapprove of the kind of friendships their children entertain. Parents should mold their teenagers into making the right choices in life. On the other hand, children should be free to share the kind of friends they have with their parents.
• Choosing their friends wisely
Friendship with an angry man makes one an angry person too. Youth and teenagers should choose friends that reflect their deepest values and qualities and shun young people that project vice.
• Refusing to be fooled by moral relativism
This is an attitude that says am okay, you are okay, no matter what we think and do as long as it does not hurt the other person.
How WRONG! Whatever we do affects others directly or indirectly. If I play music in my home theatre at the highest volume, yes, it is cool but to my nearest neighbor that would be noise and a breach of environmental laws.
Having this kind of attitude weakens our resolve to be moral and mind others, however, if we focus on building our character by watching and reading what has the ability to influence us positively, life will be better.
Last Word
If your teenager or youth is struggling with peer pressure, not all is lost and they aren’t alone. Most people succumb to peer pressure because of the fear of rejection and the need to be accepted.
As such, because of their insecurity, they fall victim to manipulation from their peers and are influenced negatively. Nevertheless, we should always be bold and stand up for what we believe in. Resist and overcome negative peer pressure.
12/07/2017