Motivation Parlour

Category: Teens

Child Discipline: How should Millennial Parents Discipline their Children?
Child discipline is a key factor that most parents think of when they are raising their kids.
It is a key factor in that parents can remove obnoxious behavior among children as they grow up.
Similarly, child discipline also shields society from the chaos that children who did not gain discipline at an early age could cause.
The debate on child discipline has been common, which are the methods to use when disciplining children.
Child Discipline Methods
Guardians and parents give habitual discipline to entrench appropriate social habits among children.
They may use many discipline methods that fellow parents, teachers, or even grandparents may recommend.
If you are a parent and you seem to have trouble disciplining your child, you should not worry.
I will outline various child discipline methods that have worked and enabled children to maintain discipline for the rest of their lives.
1) Educate yourself on parenting and discipline styles
Once you gain the skills of disciplining your child, you will have a simple time. Many parents base themselves on the common knowledge of child discipline.
For example, some parents think the way their mothers and fathers raised them is the way they should raise their kids.
Even so, this thinking is somehow wrong. Parents should undergo the needed training and pick out the best ways how to discipline their children.
By educating yourself, you will gain a style that fits your family, and the child can cope with it appropriately.
2) Reward good listening behaviors
Listening behavior is a factor that a child learns at a very young age. The child may obey and disobey some rules at that young age.
If the child has good listening behaviors, you may reward the child with hugs, food that he or she loves, or take them out for a walk.
By doing so, the child will learn that they will gain nothing from having awful behavior.
Good listening behavior makes the child learn that good actions result in praise and positive attention.
3) Respect their need to communicate
Children have a unique skill of communication. They are not like adults to lay down their issues straight to the point.
Having respect and creating time to listen to them communicate will help greatly.
The child will have confidence in themselves, and the parent can address the issues raised by the child.
You will discipline the child since you respect their need to communicate.
4) Set clear consequences and limits
Choices have consequences. If you don’t correct your child at one point, the world will discipline them.
There are excellent ways to deny them the chance to play video games. This way, the child will learn from the mistakes they made.
Also, set substantial limits that the child will avoid breaking. This way, you will have played an important role as a parent in instilling discipline.
Benefits of child discipline
The benefits are truly rewarding. The child will grow to be a respectable person in the community.
In school, children will relate well to their peers and teachers. As they grow up, they will become socially and emotionally mature adults.
Likewise, discipline enables the child to be satisfied and happy, especially in adulthood. All in all, the benefits are of no doubt very gratifying.
Final Thoughts
Parents should understand their children and how they relate to the outside world.
Doing so will manage their child appropriately and monitor them as they grow up.
Mastering the skill of relating the right way with the child is also crucial to maintaining child discipline. Overall, parents should have a first-class relationship with their children.
04/08/2022
Teenage Attitude and Behaviour: How to Parent them in the Right Way
Parenting growing kids is demanding because of the ever-dynamic teenage attitude and behaviour. It’s not a surprise that most parents fear their kids’ teenage years. It’s always a time of intense growth in their lives. They are growing physically, intellectually, and emotionally.
That makes them more curious. Your teen now has the increasing desire to be addressed as an adult.
They make decisions that will define the relationship between themselves and their teens. As a parent, it may reach a point whereby you feel like your teens reject your influence.
Your teen is still the same toddler you nursed. They are now trying to be more articulate, idealistic, and thoughtful. Given the right guidance, teens should make you proud as their a parent.
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So, worry not if your family seems to fall apart. This article will help you find applicable ways to parent teenagers in the best way possible.
Signs your Kid has grown into a Teenager
Maybe you are at a loss as a parent identifying your kid as a teenager. You are not alone. Many parents find themselves in this melee.
Years alone may not help as kids go through different growth spurts. In children, you will find speedy developers and those growing slowly but steadily.
Some key signs that will help you identify your kids are transitioning from being a child to a teen include:
Sexual Characteristics
- Facial hair
- Pubic hair
- Growing breasts
- Menstrual periods
Behavioral Characteristics
- Desire to be independent
- They want to be decision-makers
- Loathe you addressing them as kids
- Are aware of other people’s opinions of them
- Seek identity and a sense of belonging
So how should you handle teenage attitude and behavior in your teens? We give you a 10-point guide on how you can make your teenage parenting effective.

1. Understand What they Need
The teenager is no longer your child whom you would cuddle all the time. They have developed and are almost becoming adults.
They are probably becoming different from what you knew them to be. It won’t mean that you will have to stop caring about them. Have frequent talks about what they need most.
This will enhance a strong relationship between the parent and the teenager.
2. In Parenting Teenagers, Prove to them you Love them
A teenager may develop an ego during the first stages of adolescence. By doing so, your kid may seem like a rebellious teenager at some point; hence some parents feel like giving up.
As a parent, you need to ensure that there is enough evidence to prove that you love your son or daughter. First, it does not matter whether you give him or her money.
Money does not solve any problems. Take some time off with your teenage child. You can opt for road trips or anything to enhance the bondage between the parent and the teenager.
Through all these, the teenager will grow up to become a respectable person in the community.
3. Know More About their Friends
As youngsters grow up, they always have time to make new friends. Some of these friends will make a major difference in how your son behaves. This will help a great deal in studying your teenage attitude and behaviour.
Despite this, while knowing their friends, do not be too nosy. As a parent, there is that overprotective feeling of handling your child.
You can host a party and tell him to invite some of his friends. By doing so, you will have made a big achievement in knowing their friends.
It will also enable you to guide him about his company. As they say, never judge a book by its cover, so don’t be too overprotective. Parenting teenagers is a skill that needs learning.
4. Have a Reinforced Standard Within the Teen
Children are never born knowing what is right or wrong. As the child turns into a teenager, he slightly bends the rules that you as a parent has set.
This will make you feel troubled and somehow stressed. If it comes to this point, ensure to remind them of what you taught them at a young age. You need to tame bad teenage attitudes and behavior from an early age.
Also, give practical reasons why there are boundaries. Do not be afraid that you may seem strict.
In the end, the teenager will thank you for your tireless efforts to raise him appropriately.
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5. Always Listen to their Queries or Needs
Fewer adults respect or listen to their teens. Many of them think they will get over that stage just like how they managed.
Sadly, this destroys the emotional character of the teenage child. The child will feel more of a burden to the parent or guardian.
Your teenage son or daughter might seek advice from other people who may mislead them.
Advice from unknown persons could ruin a healthy relationship with your teenager. Always listen to what your teenager wants to discuss with you.
It helps to create a better mutual understanding and stronger bonds.
6. Offer your Wisdom regarding when you were a Teenager
Being a parent, you have had several encounters as a teenager, some of which may be impressive or not.
In line with that, you automatically gained the gift of wisdom since you are no longer a teenager.
Give this wisdom to your child and it will make a positive impact on his or her teenage life.
This could just be the antidote you need to manage a teenage attitude and behaviour in your teen. It will also make parenting teenagers a lot easier.
7. Guide them to Stay Focused
This is one of the crucial parts to consider when raising a teenager. Guide them to balance enjoying the fun within adolescence.
At the same time, prepare them for the future. Your teenager could forget the consequences of their current choices, which could cost them the future.
Ensure that they are not always focusing on football games or prom.
8. Do not Always Talk to Your Teens
Your teenager will always receive lectures from several adults.
Many of these adults care more about their agenda rather than a teenager. This is very exhausting for kids, making them not trust adults, including parents.
Avoid much too many lectures on your teens. When giving lectures or bits of advice, always address them as adults. Remember to keep things clear and straight to the point.
9. Take Away Some Privileges
You should always note that teenagers need you in their lives and not on their terms and conditions.
Take away some privileges like going to events, gaming, and many more if they seem to develop an ego. This is part of the process of handling your kid’s teenage attitude and behaviour.
This applies to some extreme cases whereby the teenager is very stubborn. It will definitely help to bring him back on track.
10. Reward Increasing Maturity
Reward your teen accordingly if he seems to portray patterns of maturity. You could reward them by increasing their freedom.
You could also give them an extra tip on the allowance and many more. It will also make the teenager trust you more and be more responsible.
Final Thoughts
That being said, raising a teenager can be demanding if you do not know how to go about it. You should know that your kid is undergoing a lot of teenage attitude and behaviour change
Yet, if you follow these tips, your child could become the epitome of being mature and responsible.
So, if your child is just getting into teenagehood, you now know how to handle them best.
27/02/2022
Good Things Come to those who Wait
Really? Do good things come to those who wait, or is it just one of the many statements with white lies we know of?
The other question is, wait for what things from where? BBI team? Jubilee or Uncle Sam?
The Waiting Wilderness
The world today makes you want good things thick and fast. So how in the world are you going to wait for good things to come your way?
Someone the other day was wondering why I haven’t bought a car yet. It
In fact, I’m tempted to believe that today’s social norm is not about being rich but about looking rich. It’s about the perception you are rich.
So, all a young man needs to do is buy a fancy car? Some fancy clothing and build some mansion in the village or a suburban plot of land somewhere and bam! You are damn rich men! Even with no money in your bank account or valuable assets.
Yet society will perceive someone walking in faded blue denim jeans and a Jubilee Tuko Pamoja T-shirt as poor. 😂😂
The irony is this guy could be yule msee when you are cash-strapped, and all your friends and enemies have turned their backs on you. Ye ana mali but hucheza chini, you get?
Yeah, the aforementioned scenario accurately reflects the happenings in society today. Instant gratification, over-expectations, and flamboyancy dot the material world of vanity.
You are entitled to your opinion, but the wisest man to have lived saw all these, and he wrote in his book of Proverbs 13:7 (NIV):
One person pretends to be rich, yet has nothing; another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth.
A young man from University wants to be paid Kes 60,000/ USD600 on their first job. Bro! I like your ambition, but people begin from the bottom and rise the ladder.
Sit and Wait or Act and Wait?
The statement “good things come to those who wait” shouldn’t be understood to sit, do nothing, and wish for some miracle to happen.
While waiting, you invest in yourself and build good habits that will make you a better version of yourself.
What are your dreams? or what is your purpose? Who do you want to become?
Are you serious about your dreams and what the future holds for you? Then you should learn to wait. Fast or quick isn’t always right. Well, it could also be right but not the best for you.
Waiting doesn’t mean drowning in alcohol and indulging in sensational sex to feel you belong.
It’s all about taking responsibility for your life and making every decision you make the count.
How to Wait for the Good Things
Photo by James Wheeler
1. Get Busy and Productive
I will use a common saying here again – An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.
You have 24 hours in a day. You can choose to get engaged and productive or idle and destructive.
I have seen young people getting busy and avoiding activities that would destroy them. Similarly, I see young people who keep destroying themselves.
Jack, a young man I know, is a great footballer. Daily except for Sunday, he is always on the football pitch training for the next tournament. Rarely do you find him sleeping in bed idle?
In three words, he is fit, disciplined and focused.
He knows he can be a great footballer, so he invests time in fine-tuning his gaming skills.
Mary and Ian
Mary is in the Praise and Worship team in their church. Often, when you look for her or ring her, she will tell you she is singing or praying at church.
How about Ian? He is always in his father’s business stall, helping him run the family business. He has little time for reckless and irresponsible living.
Ian is learning to be a businessman, doesn’t he?
A Stark Contrast
On the other hand, Allan is the exact opposite of the two above. He eats large chunks of food, but he is very idle. And have you noticed how idle people get hungry very fast? —-
Allan can spend the whole day binge-watching movies on a laptop or the TV set and chatting with ladies on the phone.
Mark you, we live in a time and age where you can read Personal Development books on your Smartphone or study a free course online.
Farming today is no longer a reserve of the old in society. Young people can embrace it, and Allan is no exception.
Because of his untapped strength and idleness, Allan occasionally fornicates with young girls in the neighbourhood. Ignoring the fact that he could contract STDs, get impotent or killed with Viagra or sire a baby he isn’t ready to take care of.
He also secretly goes to house parties, smokes weed, and drinks alcohol. Ooh, poor boy! Bad habits die really hard.
And I don’t hate men; ladies have their fair share too. Laura has been caught severally by her parents sneaking. She does this in the wee hours of the night.
And for what reason? To drink and sleep with her boyfriend, old enough to be her father. Pathetic!
2. Keep Good Company
Guys! The truth is simple and plain or plain and simple? Ni kizungu ilikuja na meli but you get my point, don’t you?
Have you noted that if someone is trying to explain something simple to you in so many words, he is lying or not sure what he is saying?
I come to tell you, “Bad company corrupts good morals.”
In the waiting period, learn to keep good company. Learn to walk with people you admire and aspire to be.
Even amongst your peers, some are better than you in life skills. You can learn something from them, right?
Good things come to those who wait by keeping good company.
3. Pray Without Ceasing
A prayer is a form of communication.
But in this case, you are not communicating to your friend but a higher power or deity – God.
I know young people who pray. But a majority don’t. How I wish they could learn the secrets of prayer early in life and build this habit all the way.
Prayer invokes the power of God over natural situations in your life. It generates tremendous power to cause seismic shifts in your destiny and moulds you into the person your maker wants you to become.
Prayer aligns you with the vision and purpose of God over your life.
In your waiting time, don’t sit idle. Join prayer caravans and seek God with all your heart. Walk with the prayer warriors and see your life get transformed.
And for the record, you don’t have to be in church to pray. Are you travelling? Pray. Seated somewhere? Pray. Walking in a park? Pray. If you can communicate when driving, it means you can pray when driving.
Wrap Up
I feel I haven’t written enough of this post. But I hope you understand it the way I’m trying to. Good things come to those who wait, and you better learn to wait.
Life is a journey, and you must enjoy your time in the waiting wilderness. Because you will remember those days when you get over with them.
18/12/2020
Chronicles of a Sunday School Teacher
It is enjoyable to be some kind of teacher. How about being a Sunday school teacher?
Whether a teacher in school, church, or lecture halls, hundreds and thousands of kids are paying keen attention to you.
They are eager to know whether the content they are listening to is worth their time and adds value to their life.
Here is a friend of mine who is a Sunday school teacher. He spends much of his time coaching high school students with classwork.
He also mentors them with God’s word and is more passionate about sharing it with children.
Doesn’t the Bible talk about Jesus Christ exhorting his listeners to allow young children to come to him?
As a youth leader and an aspiring parent, we have shared a lot with Dave on parenting and the pertinent issues affecting children, teens, and youth.
Parents today are digital and raising their kids in a digital world. Now, this is not wrong per se. Parents are facing myriad challenges stemming from the age of technology and growing social media influence.
Given his penchant for spending time with kids, my best friend got an invitation to attend his niece’s birthday.
With the festive season at hand, no one will say no to such invitations. Don’t people want to make merry and capture excellent memories?
As usual, friends, colleagues, and families converged at the party to celebrate another year of a young one on earth.
As I would like to call him, Dave has been to parties before but did not expect a party with liquor in the presence of kids.
That being said, the party was wow, to say the least.
Just at that point, when drinks were being served, the waitress handed David a bottle of liquor. Hahaha.
The staunch Christian in him could not allow him to say yes to the offer.
Even though given as a kind gesture from the host, this was obviously uncomfortable to somebody who doesn’t take liquor.
What I found funny is how other guests at the party wondered about the choice of his drinks. Hahaha.
Personally, I was a teetotaller two years ago, never to taste any alcoholic beverage again. I would have politely declined the offer if in Dave’s shoes.
However, I can attest to the fact that alcoholic drinkers find it rather odd if they meet someone at a party function who doesn’t drink alcohol, let alone taste it.
While Dave sat comfortably with his bottle of water, people kept asking him: “Are you sure you are okay?” Hahaha.
He was okay, but people, especially Kenyans, do not want to believe somebody can drink something different apart from liquor at a party.
I mean, who said one must party with liquor? Kenyans (not all, for that matter), unfortunately, have a soft spot for alcohol, and they deem a party incomplete without it.
However, our greatest concern here wasn’t about the party makers taking alcohol but the fact that they were doing it in front of their kids.
However, our greatest concern here wasn’t about the party makers taking alcohol but the fact that they were doing it in front of their kids.
Worse yet, they could send their kids to bring them more alcohol from the fridge.
Ugly Parenting Patterns
Common wisdom denotes that kids won’t pay attention to what you tell them but to what you do.
As noted by my buddy Sunday school teacher, parenting reared its ugly head rather vividly at the function going by the different behaviors exhibited by the kids.
Notably, when the cake was being cut, kids swam into action wanting a bite and to cut the cake simultaneously.
On the other hand, this group of kids watched from a distance, waiting eagerly for someone to serve them.
Evidently, the way these kids behaved goes back to how their parents nurtured and handled them at home.
Just as charity begins at home. Disciplining your child starts at home before you send them to Sunday school or the 8.4.4 education system.
I have lived with young parents whose kids are spoilt brats. They dismiss even the gravest of mistakes with a simple, “I will whip you,” and that is it.
Such kids have no respect for adults and visitors in their homes. They will jump on the sofa around you, snatch your phone and hit you unexpectedly. Owe unto you if you wear spectacles. I had to replace mine recently because of such an ordeal.
In all these, they expect you to do nothing lest you fall short of the discipline code in their home.
It’s even more annoying when they are doing this to you in front of their parents, who don’t care about your ordeal at all.
The only option left is to play along and pretend you are comfortable.
One interesting thing Dave noted was also the health of these young kids. Kids fed on junk food often appeared weaker as compared to kids who fed on carbohydrates and protein diets.
Methinks parents should call the shorts on what their kids should be eating. Snacks are good for kids once in a while, but rarely.
However much he/she always screams for that ice cream displayed at the shops, we must make an effort to wean them from consuming junk food.
As we enjoy the festive season, let’s remember to be wonderful parents and custodians to our young ones.
If we give the freedom of their desires at a young age, we will have to contend with raising rebellious teenagers. This is because there was a twist already in their upbringing we didn’t want to address.
Successful parenting to all parents and aspiring parents in 2020!
25/12/2018
How to handle your School Going Kid During the COVID-19 Holiday
School-going kids are all over home right now in most countries worldwide. And most parents are feeling the heat and cold of having them around.
The COVID-19 virus struck China in November 2019. Spread to Europe and the U.S, fast developing into a pandemic the world over.
The pandemic has spared none of the anxiety of living in the new normal. Besides, school-going kids, businesses, places of worship, bars, and clubs all feel the restrictions under COVID-19.
On the same note, your children are at home right now. And if they were in boarding schools, prepare to keep up with them longer. As their parent, you now have the time to nurture them and discover who they are.
Lucky for you, most governments the world over have restricted movements. Your school-going kids idling around is one problem solved.
Engage your School going Kid in Home Chores
The current lockdowns and curfews make kids stay home longer. This must be one of the best times to teach your school-going kids different chores and roles in the home.
Mending fences, fixing the pigsty, repairing broken furniture, milking. House and home chores are endless. There is a lot that your school-going kid could do during this pandemic.
Many are the life skills that you could train your children to do and keep them engaged during this pandemic holiday.
Given the freedom and spirit of adventure they now possess, our kids will no doubt find their way into impromptu, makeshift drinking orgies. In such cases, correction becomes a vocabulary as everyone turns out to be a reveller that wants to explore unknown things.
Our kids, given the freedom and spirit of adventure they now possess, will no doubt find their way into such impromptu, makeshift drinking orgies. In such cases, correction becomes a vocabulary as everyone turns out to be a reveler that wants to explore new things.
Also, incidences of immorality and our young girls getting unwanted pregnancies are likely to be palpable.
So to speak, our children need to be engaged in constructive activities this holiday that will add more value to their lives.
Similarly, one most valuable thing you can do to your boy or girl child student is to offer them tutorship or a private teacher who can teach them at home.
Maybe you expected me to mention a sporting event or tour in Malindi or Fiji Islands with your school-going child.
International flights have resumed in different parts of the world. But you want to be more cautious. The pandemic is not ended yet. Children experience fewer to no symptoms, though.
Home Tutorship
For this simple reason, you would rather chop off part of your festive budget as a parent.
This guarantees your school-going child a thorough home-alone understanding of the subjects and coursework already covered in school.
More so, the tutor will be resourceful in preparing your kid for the next coursework coverage when the unfamiliar school term begins.
Though cash draining, putting aside that cash to hire a tutor for your school-going kid could just work magic for his or her performance when the next school term begins.
Conclusion
COVID-19 appears to be here for the long haul. Most governments have closed down institutions of higher learning.
As a parent, you may have a rough time explaining to your school-going kid the fact that they will have to repeat another school year or term.
But more importantly, parents must ensure they engage their kids in meaningful activities during the COVID-19 pandemic.
16/11/2017
Advice to your Teenager about God
We live in the age of information. Gone are the days when you had to look for an encyclopedia or visit a public library to get knowledge about anything. It is said that information is power, and indeed, it is. Search engines such as Google have made accessing information on any subject easier. Despite the technological milestones we have made in terms of getting access to information, there is the danger of accessing information that has been contorted to serve other interests or simply misinform. Read on to know about the misconceptions that teenagers have about God.
Jesus your Boyfriend
God is the creator, king and therefore must be revered as such, however, teenagers equate God to many things. In one of the commonly held youth seminars, a young woman when asked about whether she was dating or engaged, she responded by saying she was married to Christ. Jesus Christ is given many attributes in the bible among them the prince of peace, the lion of the tribe of Judah, Messiah, beloved son of God, King. No place is Christ mentioned as a spouse or boyfriend to anyone. The furthest the bible goes is to depict Christ as a bridegroom who will come for his bride the true church in the last days. Therefore, it is inappropriate to bring down your savior and Lord to the level of your boyfriend or special other.
The Millionaire Jesus
This statement is mistakenly used to portray Jesus Christ as having it all. A preacher, with no ill intentions could innocently use these words to illustrate to teenagers how rich they are in Christ. After all, the bible mentions that the whole world and everything in it belongs to God. However, teenagers might interpret this statement differently and acknowledge Jesus Christ as a millionaire rich in gold, jewelry and worldly treasures and not Jesus as their saviour. In John 3:16, the bible mentions that whoever believes in Christ shall not perish but have everlasting life.
Christ sole mission on earth was to seek and save the lost and that is where it stops. The bible talks of Christ as a humble human being who had no means of financing his ministry. He carried out his ministry on earth with 12 numbered disciples and a host of many others including women who provided for them.
God the father, the son and Holy Spirit cannot be classified with human classifications of billionaire, millionaire or zillionaire. He is the alpha and omega, the maker of heaven and earth who out of love for humanity sent his only begotten son to redeem them from their sins.
The Cool Jesus
Teenagers use the word cool to mean they are enjoying life and living it to the fullest. It could also be used to mean they are trendy and classy in terms of fashion and the clothes they adorn. Unfortunately, the word cool is being used inappropriately with reference to Jesus Christ. Communication is no excuse. Words written in the bible should be mentioned as they are without any creativity to avoid deception and heresies.
Mere words presented before people without their original meaning and expression lead to more confusion and misinterpretation of the scriptures in the bible. It is true that slang words have really grown especially as a way of communication among the youth, however, for the gospel to make sense and change the lives of people, it must be presented as it was originally written in Hebrew and translated into English.
Jesus the Carpenter’s Son
The bible records that Jesus Christ had an earthly father by the name Joseph. Joseph was skilled in carpentry, a skill Christ might have tried too. The bible records that not everything done by Christ has records in the bible. There is no problem in knowing Jesus as a carpenter’s son. The problem is relating to him as the son of a carpenter other than your savior.
A hit song once filled the airwaves with the Swahili words umesamehewa na fundi wa mbao. Within no time, youths began dancing to the song in churches and concerts. We are products of what we listen to overtime. While the singer to the song might have wanted to be creative and appeal to the youth, he missed the point in presenting Christ as a carpenter who saves. Youths and more so teenagers are to be careful about songs presented by the contemporary gospel industry. A number of their lyrics are unbiblical and used out of context.
It is important that teenagers recognize God and the trinity as the bible presents him and not in misinformed ideologies. Every bible believing Christian should watch against heresies and defend the word of God for what it is.
30/08/2017